1. tv matters so much to people & particularly kids, because it’s consistent & dependable. especially when your home life isn’t.
2. if you don’t have a boyfriend and you’re lonely, just reframe the relationships you DO have in your life! just pretend your platonic male bff is your boyfriend, at least until you find the NEXT boy of your dreams. celebrate your platonic relationships you have. they’re just as important, interesting, special, and beneficial… minus the penetration.
3. girls: please get the period tracker application and then send screen grabs of your menstruation calendar to all your closest friends, family, coworkers, and boyfriends so they can know when & why you’re acting like a crazy loon.
4.if you always do what you want to do. you can never really have regrets.
5.don’t get a cat, get your period, put a tampon inside you; which is essentially a string hanging out of your vagina, then go to bed with no undies on, ABOVE the covers, with your legs apart. this is a recipe for disaster. you see where I’m going with this, don’t you? just don’t do it.
6. what if the cure for cancer is trapped inside the mind of someone who can’t afford an education?
7. last night WAS fun! relax!
8. start referring to driving your own car somewhere as ‘ubering yourself’.
9. don’t cry cuz it’s over, laugh cuz it happened.
10. don’t make important decisions on your period or a full moon… like i do. : /