BLOG » mistletoe is mandatory:
It’s getting closer! Christmas is almost here! can you handle it? I’m so excited too! i waited in line for a half hour and tried to drain as much youth as i could out of all the kids that i cut in line and stood in front of! it’s important to stay young and fresh! now, i meant to post this sooner, and spread this message, but i haven’t had the chance until now: get some fucking mistletoe and bring it wherever you go! you could have started this on December 1st! that’s what i did last year! i went to a club with my friend and there was some dude with mistletoe running around trying to make out with everything in a skirt! who was this guy? my male doppelganger? he was tall and stylish, and i wanted to slap him for breaking the mistletoe out first thing in December/beating me to it! a jealous girl, i stole the mistletoe from him and sat in a dark corner with my best friends….we were chatting, putting on lip gloss, shit talking and surveying the room. to my surprise, i spotted that sexy dude who starred in “the notebook” and “half nelson”! no way!? he’s gorgeous. i was working on another adorable dude….but my friend wasn’t! she was tipsy, which made her easier to suggest stuff to…so i gave her the mistletoe and dared her to hold it over her head and tap r.g. on the shoulder. AND SHE FUCKING DID IT! i will always love her for that! my brave, beautiful, talented friend. he turned around, looked at her, she smiled at him, and he turned right back around to the people he was talking to. I’m pretty sure she was officially mortified. oh well. it was a story. later that night, we were still in the same spot, talking and drinking. as was rg-to his friends, whoever they were. r.g took a seat on the banquet we were sitting on. still with his back to our party. braver and basically over it, my friend flopped over to r.g to regain her sense of dignity. her-“hey, i was only joking! it’s Christmas, lighten up. i was tyring to be flirty.” him-“what do you mean? i gave you my sexy face.” her-“that was your sexy face? you need to go home and work on it buddy, cuz that’s not a sexy face I’ve ever seen.” all i could see was them talking, exchanging numbers, laughing! i can’t remember what she told me they were saying….but i have to end the story here anyway, because this really isn’t my story to tell. the point is, life is exciting and you MUST take chances. if you’re a girl, you can basically get away with anything! ESPECIALLY if you look/are young, dress well, and are good looking! so buy some goddamn mistletoe and get the fuck out there! and hold it over your head! high and proud! and kiss the sexiest, most gorgeous, interesting, appealing guys you wanna kiss! Merry Christmas!!!