BLOG » PART 1: advice from me to you. AKA: the blind leading the blind:
1. always carry breath spray and baby wipes. Just in case anyone wants to kiss you or go down on you.
-Remember women! We don’t do anything gross! I’m not going into specifics. Let’s leave it at that.
2. every time you have sex or mess around with a dude, you should go to your gyno and get tested for everything! That way if you get anything (even though some things show up later/and are latent) you have a better idea of who gave you what! Hopefully you won’t get a thing! But, just in case!
3. don’t have anal sex! guys might get the impression that you’re gross! tell them you had that hole sewed up years ago and you threw away the key! why would we need a hole like that? we don’t do gross stuff.
4. things a man should do:
5. you CAN get preggers on your period!
6. never have unprotected sex! (everybody does, we just all lie about it! behind closed doors everyone’s using the pull out method! don’t lie bitches, I’m watching you-plus, i do it too. whoopsies!)
7. even when it’s protected, you should always make sure he pulls out before he cums.
8. no matter what he says-cum and/or his pee is not good for clearing up zits! what a scumbag!
9. again: the hole is sewn up and cannot be unsewn!
10. patchouli is never ok!