BLOG » don’t be so gross:

Lets face it: your vagina is a dark, dank, breeding ground for a whole lotta disgusting nonsense! i actually don’t blame guys for being scared and uneasy about going down there! but they better get the fuck over it and man up! or else they can consider themselves A. gay and B. dumped. actually- why do i feel that a gay dude, who’s out of the closet and comfortable with his sexuality, would be more inclined to go down on a girl than a super frightened hetero dude? oh well, who knows? I’m just thinking out loud here. is that a crime? 


anyways, back to you ladies! it’s in our best interest to keep that area clean and pristine! yeast infections, bacterial infections, razor burn, overgrown monster bushes, accidentally inserting more than one tampon and forgetting about the first one that’s now lodged inside of you and is rotting, not to mention ruining your social life, ARE ALL NO NO’s! yes, this is the grossest post I’ve ever posted, and hopefully will ever post! but it needs to be said! people are disgusting! i should know! I’m surrounded by you monsters ALL THE TIME! seriously though! you MUST go to the gynecologist all the time! you should get checked out every time you have sex with a new dude! I’m not kidding! you laugh now, but being a single girl-which I’m very familiar with-it’s in your best interest to take care of yourself. no one else will! people lie! boys lie! girls lie! use a condom! except when you give blow jobs, cuz that would just be social suicide. don’t be afraid of seeing your gyno over and over again! the doctor will actually respect you more and be happy you’re paying her! 

so, back to your privates! i go to a Russian day spa. i truly believe that Russian women are the best at hurting you, while simultaneously convincing you they’re making you beautiful, and sending you out the door smiling with a wallet that’s a little lighter than it was when you’d arrived. I’m over the whole landing strip thing! it’s lame! how about natural but manicured on top (which actually makes your thighs looks smaller and balances out your body) and completely bare on the bottom (that’s so it’s considerate and less complicado for the dudes you let down there). write me with your feedback boys AND girls! I’d like to hear what you think! life is about constantly learning! RIGHT??? 

so-for a healthy vadge, eat yogurt, or make sure to ingest some sort of acidophilus or ‘good bacteria’. and for the love of god, drink pineapple juice! you know why they tell men to drink it! why don’t you do yourself the same favor? you can drink pineapple coconut juice too! options! how exciting! don’t wea
r undies to bed (as much as you can), and try not to wear tights or super tight jeans all the time! let your privates breath! yes, i typed that! I’m disgusting! somebody has to be, to get the word out. I’m just trying to make a contribution!

By: boycrazy on January 2, 2009
Tags: , ,


22 Responses to “don’t be so gross:”

  1. DUSKIN, on January 2nd, 2009 at 8:42 am Said:

    brilliant.


  2. Todd, on January 2nd, 2009 at 11:21 am Said:

    Revenge Of The Nerds/80′s Playboy Centerfold style bush is returning, but as a more refined/well-groomed version. This is a good thing.


  3. Todd, on January 2nd, 2009 at 11:24 am Said:

    P.S. don’t ever do such a gross post again. Guys are reading this too and you’re killing the fantasy. Thanks.


  4. Anonymous, on January 3rd, 2009 at 1:42 am Said:

    My friend told me about your blog a few nights ago– it’s amazing. and so funny. i love that you write about things women think about but [usually] wont say.


  5. Rebs, on January 3rd, 2009 at 10:52 am Said:

    nice post. i think this is the perfect level of grossness.
    my friend’s mom started this company for “private maintenance”- haven’t tried it yet but def relevant to post…
    and has great pink triangle logo!
    http://www.sweetspotlabs.com/


  6. c'est freak, le chic, on January 3rd, 2009 at 2:04 pm Said:

    With out a doubt, your blogs are one of kind. :)


  7. Anonymous, on January 8th, 2009 at 1:07 pm Said:

    i am in agreement on the non landing strip. that shit is ugly and makes you look fat. it also makes you look like a cheezy ass porn star. and i agree with everything else bare for funtimes :) i would like to add that it is necessary to wash off before the morning make out kids. if you dont you’re kind of gross.


  8. elle, on January 16th, 2009 at 11:06 am Said:

    amazing! hahaha


  9. taylor, on January 18th, 2009 at 1:28 am Said:

    i dig full bush. its rare. when i find it i am fucking stoked.


  10. julie, on September 7th, 2009 at 9:17 pm Said:

    It is next to impossible to prevent razor burn.
    I HAVE TRIED


  11. Claire, on September 11th, 2009 at 7:31 am Said:

    Dam girl you good x


  12. anon, on September 14th, 2009 at 5:46 am Said:

    hahaha. hilarious. nicely done.


  13. Catherine, on September 14th, 2009 at 10:31 pm Said:

    A LITTLE TIP! :D
    After you shave and you want it to stay smooth for longer and not get so prickly so fast, just rub a little bit of deodorant on, like Dove or Lady Speed Stick.


  14. Joseph, on September 30th, 2009 at 1:57 pm Said:

    This is awesome. You rock.


  15. Ellie, on October 9th, 2009 at 7:33 pm Said:

    THANK GOD! thank you for just saying it. i’m sick of girls pretending like they don’t know or don’t care about their hygiene down there! it’s actually kind of sad. and btw, you’re right, landing strips are stupid. I agree with the clean down there, well trimmed up top, just makes sense really. anyways, thanks again for talking about what people should be talking about.

    <3


  16. meng, on November 18th, 2009 at 4:01 pm Said:

    does pineapple juice make your privates taste better? somebody get me a gallon pronto.

    i love you alexiiiiiii <3
    come to sf so we can hangdoodle :)


  17. Halee, on November 23rd, 2009 at 11:49 am Said:

    geeze louise! thank you jesus for this post! this “dark dank” stuff is something every lady should know!


  18. kevin, on July 2nd, 2010 at 2:37 am Said:

    “accidentally inserting more than one tampon and forgetting about the first one that’s now lodged inside of you and is rotting, not to mention ruining your social life,”

    soooo funny.

    julie — solution to razor burn: don’t use a razor.


  19. Buy Acidophilus Pearls, on July 25th, 2010 at 8:54 am Said:

    I’ve been really scouting every place for the formal acidophilus pearls stomach product yet had real trouble finding it. Finally I discovered this acidophilus pearls internet sites which probably was just about all I needed! .. Acidophilus Pearls


  20. Pete Chritton, on January 10th, 2011 at 10:29 pm Said:

    This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your great post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks!


  21. jessica, on March 29th, 2011 at 11:31 pm Said:

    somehow i have just stumbled upon your blog…and this 2 year old entry, which is amazing. srsly. AMAZING. i think i’m in love with you (no homo).


  22. Vagina Lover, on June 22nd, 2011 at 5:10 am Said:

    I love to eat pussy but it’s got to be nice and clean, otherwise it smells like a rotting fish.
    Girls – trim that bush – I hate an untrimmed cunt bush.
    Gals who don’t trim their twat hair usually have smelly cunts.
    My personal preference is for a completely shaved twat.


Leave a Reply

« / »