once upon a time, Elizabeth Hurley was condemned for saying (in an interview)something along the lines of “if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe, I would have killed myself too.” Now, that WASN’T the BEST way to represent herself in a quote. i even though she was a jerk for that, but still watched the Austen Powers movies cuz i love the sixties, and they’re too good! personally, I think Marilyn Monroe is/was gorgeous and the standards in HER day were different than they are today.although, I’m sure she was just as frantic about her weight as the girlies are today.
but today, as i was trying to walk down the stairs to take the subway, I was fixated on the fat ass of a woman in front of me, blocking my path. Her and a dude were moving at maximum slowness, pushing their baby in a carriage. He had his arm around her (not tiny) waist and she leaned into him as though she felt sexy and maybe even, dare i say, comfortable in her skin!
I put myself in her situation, remembered the Hurley quote and thought- ‘you know what? I probably WOULD contemplate suicide if I was as big as THAT woman!(she was DOUBLE the size of Marilyn, fyi- which makes me way less cruel than liz hurley) And I’m sure as hell i wouldn’t have been able to feel sexy- alone OR in front of a dude who loved me. I wouldn’t even be able to FAKE being comfortable in my skin. I wouldn’t be able to trust his love for me!’ how sick is that? but it’s true. oh my god, years later and now i’m taking liz hurley’s side? or at least, giving her point of view a chance.
Would I get the lap band? Probably. but would I ever even LET myself get to that level of fatness? Probably not. Now, I KNOW fatness CAN be hereditary, but no one in my family is fat. so the blame would be all my own. there’s no pointing fingers if I get to be the mayor of fatsville usa. I’m not ‘on the verge of death’ waify or anything-MAN, I WISH!- but if i got to THAT point of fatdom with the family genes that I have- it would be all my fault!
I would either have to kill myself, get lypo, the lap band, go to jenny craig/weight watchers, and get a mother fucking trainer/nutrition guru. I ALREADY don’t eat bread, rice, pasta, donuts, soda, cake or candy. Every once in a while I’ll have a vegan dessert or a blow pop at a rave.
so, when I see a fatty at cbtl getting a mocha frap with extra whip (and one for their overweight kid too) I think: you unhealthy monster(s)! you’re doing this to yourself. xo