BLOG » i’m NOT a paparazzi:
a week ago, i covered an event for interview magazine.com. it was hard for me. here’s the story i wrote:
This is how it was:
tonight I made the horrible mistake of telling my editor at interviewmagazine.com that I was capable of taking photos AND writing about the 2009 Los angeles art weekend launch party/mike mills book signing. Little did I know that tonight would be the night I became a paparazzi photographer. My dad was a photo journalist and during hard times he make money as a paparazzi. We even crashed will smith’s wedding! I took the photos, got thrown out by security while my dad denied knowing me and stole my photo credit! Well, tonight all those memories came flooding back full throttle. I was even shouting phrases I’d picked up from dear old dad like “look alive!”, “say something funny!” and “Make me believe it!” Ick!
I met miranda july and mike mills, they were lovely and I dreaded sticking a camera in their faces. They were very accommodating, but when the brute photographer from women’s wear daily came up behind me- the couple became aloof and asked to be left alone to enjoy the party. It WAS, after all, a party! I totally agreed! Oh no! The women’s wear lady ruined the vibe and I’d been lumped into the category of monster paparazzi! Shit! Now I was WAY too shy to go anywhere near mike or miranda! But, may I just say- both of them have piercingly electric eyes! Too late, I just did!
I tried to look busy, important and confidant! I met the girls behind the clothing line rodarte. i met the man behind band of outsiders. I chit chatted with dj michael stock of part time punks and the creators of art for la. I shamelessly promoted my blog imboycrazy.com and my friends new website broslist. I handed out stickers left and right. Claiming the sticker was a reward for posing for a pic.
I ONLY photographed the cutest people I could find- and if they WEREN’T cute, I photographed them because I was told they were important. But my overall feeling of the night was “degraded”. I didn’t like feeling as though I was begging or annoying people or possibly ROBBING them of their time. I am not a paparazzi!
I was told it was an open bar, UNTIL I went to the bar and asked for a pineapple juice. (bartender- “That’ll be $3″) (me- “but I was told it was an open bar”) (bartender- “it’s only free if you’re drinking vodka”) (me-”but, I’m working. And I have to drive after this.”)(bartender- “No dice”)(me- “well, then can I have a vodka pineapple-hold the vodka?”)she poured me the drink,glared and walked away.
Just then a super sexy dude came up to me. I said hi and he mouthed “hi, do you read lips? I’m deaf.” “what? I don’t understand? You’re what?” He took out his cell and texted “I’m deaf.” he was fucking with me right?! I wasn’t gonna be taken for a fool. “If you’re fucking with me, you’re a horrible person.” I enunciated slowly for emphasis. “No, seriously, I’m deaf. If you can’t read my lips, maybe you can read my mind. I’m deaf.” Oh no, he was serious. Whoops. you never can tell nowadays- if a dudes gay/straight/ or deaf.
I slipped away to the ladies room and did a little video footage of myself having an emotional breakdown. I pulled myself together and went back inside, scanned the room and thought- my work here is done. I got what I needed! I tiptoed out the exit and ran to the valet- Hoping I wouldn’t be in trouble for sneaking out sooner than later. And who did I bump into sneaking out as well??? miranda july and mike mills! “Sneaking out of your own party?”I said “It’s not my party” he replied. I apologized for freaking them out with my camera and they said “it wasn’t you! It was that wwd photog” I knew it! Oh well. “Later dudes! Have a nice night!” See, like minds stick together! or is it great minds think alike? Whatevs! YOU know what I’m trying to say. Maybe tonight wasn’t so bad after all! that’s what i began to think, until the valet said “That’ll be $15 maam…. With or without validation.” motherfuckers! the Los angeles art weekend is going strong from Tues. mar 31- sunday april 5. Enjoy! I did! Xoxo