BLOG » a rant on monogamy:
so, I’ve been thinking a lot about monogamy lately. Is mid to late twenties still too young to fall in love & say you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with someone? would it be better to meet someone when you’re in your early to mid thirties?
but women freak out about this! they think that if they meet someone when they’re 34/35, they’ll have to rush into having a baby out of fear their bio clock is tick tick ticking! but is it? should women still fear this? it seems like women are having babies later & later nowadays. I’m not saying try when you’re 50, but waiting till you’re 38 to procreate doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
i also hear it’s common for women to have a miscarriage the first time they get preggers. but i am in no way an authority on any of this. i am not in my thirties, i have never been pregs, i have never had a miscarriage or an abortion, and i am not trying to make a baby any time soon. all real questions on this subject should be taken up with one or more gynecologists- to ask them for their expert opinions on all these topics.
as for relationships, isn’t it better to have a passionate relationship and if/when the passion runs out- leave and hopefully walk away with having learned something? what do you think? I’m interested in getting my readers opinions. all eight of you!
when things get lackluster or you begin to feel either too comfortable or perhaps a bit taken for granted, shouldn’t you leave? is it possible to keep the excitement and passion in the beginning/the enchantment forever? I need to interview some older men/women and see what they have to say. on one hand, it would be nice to be crazy high euphoric in love forever. but on the other hand, i don’t think you’d get anything in your work life accomplished!
euphoria tends to dwindle. the urge to kiss strangers pops up again. it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not in LOVE with the bf anymore, it might just mean you’re in the dulldrums/disenchanted and have fallen from the clouds. Reality has set in and it feels like shit, compared to the start of the relationship. but chasing that feeling isn’t real though. It’s another addiction: just like people can be addicted to food, drugs, sex. it’s a love addiction. an addiction to high highs and low lows.
is it OK to accept that the truth may be this: that a stable, mellow, even keel relationship is healthy and the way to be? that it’s ok for real life to set in and for you to realize that you can’t put ALL your attention on your significant other 24/7. you have to have a LIFE of your own. and it’s ok if he has a life of HIS own. that relationships go in flows. they have ups and downs. it can’t be ALL drama and passion ALL the time. sometimes it’s just a steady paced thing, which can feel very boring to someone whose idea of a normal relationship is kuh-razy highs and lows with screaming and crying; or trying to make the other person jealous in order to feel attractive and desired; fucking in public; shutting the rest of the world out of their love bubble.
All I know is that i would hate for any bf of mine to be thinking these thoughts! but i guess that’s why the saying ‘what someone else is thinking is none of your business’ exists. and THANK GOD your thoughts are inside your head and you don’t have to share them with anyone if you don’t want to. UNLESS you have a blog and are too honest for your own good. then all your thoughts are public knowledge and you’re fucked.
i love you. be nice to the one you love. they’re on your side. not if they beat you though. then they are not on your side. xo