1. always have a book. It proves you can read, helps pass the time, and will take your mind off the real world for a second.
2. if you think all white people look the same, or all black people look the same, or all Asian people look the same, or all Latino people look the same, etc: YOU are a racist jerk. Case closed! Fix this! It’s a serious problem!
3. Do whatever you want, just don’t make that face.
4. try to find the balance between being a stupid pushover and a closed off know it all.
5. let me expand on #4: people are BANKING on you being an easy target; stupid enough to take advantage of you, fuck you (over), lie to you, and/or rob you. if you know this and get DEFENSIVE, you could end up being worse off than someone who is a carefree retardo. Try, i beg of you, JUST TRY to find the happy medium between being stupid/thinking everyone or anyone knows better or more than you and thinking YOU know it ALL and no one can offer you advice cuz you’d never need it, take it, or listen to it.
6. ‘forgive and forget’. this phrase sounds great, and will help you get over unresolved issues weighing you down. but, should you really forgive and forget? just don’t forgive and forget THEN let the whole bad news cycle REPEAT itself. forgive, forget, and learn from the experience, cut the dead toxic weight out of your life and be better off.
7. if you live in la and have a free day just to troll for dudes, here are places you should go: the apple store at the grove, the 101 cafe, amoeba records, family bookstore, target, wasteland on melrose, and Sammy’s camera- just to name a few.
8. if you live in la and you have a free day just to troll for GIRLS, here are the places you should go: m cafe, wasteland, target, the Beverly center, all over the grove (including the farmers market), and erewhon (more specifically, the juice bar).
9. don’t pick the dead skin on your fingers and then rip it off with your teeth! this goes for both guys AND girls. fucking ridiculous! do you know how many beautiful girls I’ve seen at castings just sitting around gnawing at their own flesh! it makes me feel better about myself cuz they’re so beautiful and makes them seem more human, but it’s also SUPER gross! besides empathize with them- what i REALLY wanna do is slap their hand out of their mouth and make them snap out of it! and if this picking, nervous bullshit MUST happen….. NEVER in public ladies. whether you know it or not, someone is watching…. and throwing up in their mouths.
10. if you are walking down the street, on a sidewalk, and you’re about to walk past a van….walk AROUND the van. step OFF the sidewalk and into the street and walk along the drivers side… but even THEN, keep some safe distance from the van. this way you are not trapped between the van and the wall, and there is less of a chance of you being clubbed over the head and dragged against your will into the rapist/child molester/murder van! i’m NOT kidding. be careful! even if you AREN’T alone, i STILL suggest you and whoever you’re with take this advice. you can never be TOO careful. hindsight isn’t 20/20 when you’re dead. xo