BLOG » the blind leading the blind part 14:


1.if you are trimming your pubic hair with a scissors and you accidentally cut your labia and it is dangling from a thread……DON’T PANIC! i know it stings and sizzles and you can’t believe you did this to yourself, but you did. now get some neosporin and a band aid and say a prayer. it will probably join back together like they say worms do if you cut them in half. good luck.

2. exercise for the lazy asshole: hula hooping, whatever you’re supposed to do on those rubber balls, jump rope (but make sure your boobs are fully supported).

3. don’t do heroin. DRUGS ARE BADDDDD! THEY ARE A GATEWAY FOR EVIL TO ENTER YOUR BODY! remember what i said about monsters coming into your room if you leave your closet door open? well, it’s the same with drugs, except instead of your’s your soul. and the monster will totally eat it.

4. All the beautiful girls take the stairs. if you’re ever in a situation that presents you with the choice of taking the stairs, elevator, or escalator: ALWAYS take the stairs! at the airport, in the metro/subway stations, wherevs! It’s THE thing to do! It works the legs and the bum! skip a step with each leg, it’ll totally hit the problem areas faster and harder!

5. if you’re a girl and you run into another girl and she tells you how much she loves her new boyfriend, don’t nod your head and smile and tell her “yeah, oh that’s so great. i’m so happy for you!” and then go home and facebook the shit out of that girls new boyfriend and flirt with him or ask him why he’s ignoring your im’s! that is shady, unhealthy behavior. and makes you kind of cunty. yeah, cunty!

6. all we have is our stories.

7. if the choice of places for him to cum are a) in your mouth, b) on your boobs, or  c.) on your stomach – and you’re wearing a new bra, shirt, or jeans or whatever….. the choice is A! but don’t swallow, because it will totally make you fat.

8. first almond milk, then rice milk, then soy milk, THEN non fat real milk. and half and half when you wanna feel like royalty!

9. get over yourself and out of your head. except if you’re overly thinking where he should spoodge.

10. if you’re not watching NYC prep on bravo and hating it, but still watching it…. I’m kind of bummed.


16 Responses to “the blind leading the blind part 14:”

  1. I am a girl in prep school in nyc, and nyc prep is such a terrible representation of how it is. Gossip girl does a way better job. Most of those kids don’t even go to competitive private schools, they are just rich.
    I still watch it because its quite entertaining, but camille is the only one who goes to a real school and has any relevance in that world.

  2. nyc prep is great. i never miss an episode. once i realized i was yelling at the tv eating a half gallon tub of ice cream during a particular heated nyc moment. i felt a little worthless, but only for a second.

    gawker does a lengthy recap of each episode. check ’em ouuuttttt

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  4. but don’t swallow, because it will totally make you fat.

    On the other hand, some late-Victorian eugenicists claimed that if women ingested enough semen, they might potentially live forever.

    This is why I personally have replaced rice milk with cum. Add enough sweeteners and you’ll barely notice the difference! Cheap organic produce is easy to come by, too. (Plus it doesn’t make you fat if you drink it with the lights off.)

  5. If I ever found out you secretly rode elevators, had an unhealthy diet, a high metabolism and were saving it for marriage I’d probably go & shoot a dove… <3 ya!

  6. please please please can you just do ONE blind leading the blind that doesn’t include “such and such will make you fat”. It kinda undermines any advice you give coz we can see through the faux-wisdom to the one dimensional vapidness

  7. i know some of the girls from nyc prep and wowwwww it is so fucking pathetic. i’m not even going to make my name anonymous but i can truly say they are not the “royal, popular” kids that the show makes them out to be. personally i find them mostly lame. also it just makes nyc look bad. oh and no lie that girl taylor was know as the bj freshman in her school.

  8. Another possible perk for option “A” – I hear cum bleaches teeth.

  9. I <3 NYC Prep!!!! PC is the shit!!!!

  10. it looks like that dude beat up a polar bear, tied it in a knot , and left it for dead right behind him.

  11. totally with you on the milks (#8)!!! like exactly! also the labia slice, it IS scary, but you made me feel better with only a couple sentences. i’m glad i found your blog.

  12. wtf is ALMOND Milk?? i don’t think you can buy that in berlin.

  13. I feel like i’m being crazy for making such a nerdy request, but when you make the blind leading the blind posts in the future, will you tag them simply as “blind leading…” without the number? I would love to be able to just go to the lists (as of now when you click the tag, it just takes you to that entry).
    nerdy mcgee.

  14. OMG #8 I was going to post a hierarchy of milks on my blog and somehow you did it too! AND OUR HIERARCHIES ARE THE SAME. THE EXACT SAME. i really can’t believe this.

  15. Now I’m a really happy clam -#1 made me laugh so much.

  16. Swallowing is actually recommended because it decreases chance of getting stds than spitting. It can always be your source of protein for the day. Oh and love your blog. Just recently heard of it and its amazing

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