BLOG » the blind leading the blind part 15:
1. just because someone requests your friendship on facebook doesn’t mean they’re in love with me….. I mean you.
2. if your scale is dirty from your blackened footprints, for the love of god, scrub it clean before guests come over.
3. stop giving fixed gear bikes so much shit. They didn’t do anything wrong. Not that I have one or anything, cuz I don’t! what? If I did-which I don’t- I totally got it BEFORE they were trendy. And I am NOT, I repeat, NOT a hipster!
4. always wear makeup in public. I heard that prince said this to Carmen Electra a long time ago. If prince said it, it can’t be BAD advice!
5. if you’re NOT wearing any makeup, and you need to go to the supermarket- and it’s kind of a hip and trendy market you shop at- who cares? go inside without make-up. Stop worrying so much. Only you know how truly ugly you could possibly look in that moment.
6. today is the first day of the rest of your life! Get a cork board! Put it up on your bedroom wall! Write down ALL your dreams that you want to come true. Write each goal individually on an index card. Push a pin through each card, so that its hanging from the cork board! Voila: you’re one step closer to your dreams coming true!
7. NEVER double text. It’s makes you look super lame! For serious!
8. love your body.
9. really, you’re gonna eat ALL that pasta? no, go right ahead! that’s cool with me fathead! the bigger you get, the smaller I look!
10. hmmm, am I sounding like a hypocrite? wake the fuck up! Life IS hypocrital. Do the best you can and don’t get so easily offended! Why would you think I’m even talking to/about YOU specifically? why are you making anything i write personal enough to offend you? It’s not all about you! Like when that pussycat dolls song came out; the one that says “don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” Well, how do you think I felt? I was a tad offended! I’m not gonna lie. But THEN I realized, it wasn’t about me! And even if it COULD be personalized- why would I place myself on the losing end of being the lamo girlfriend? Life is hypocritical. And it’s all how you look at it.