BLOG » the blind leading the blind part 15:

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1. just because someone requests your friendship on facebook doesn’t mean they’re in love with me….. I mean you.

2. if your scale is dirty from your blackened footprints, for the love of god, scrub it clean before guests come over.

3. stop giving fixed gear bikes so much shit. They didn’t do anything wrong. Not that I have one or anything, cuz I don’t! what? If I did-which I don’t- I totally got it BEFORE they were trendy. And I am NOT, I repeat, NOT a hipster!

4. always wear makeup in public. I heard that prince said this to Carmen Electra a long time ago. If prince said it, it can’t be BAD advice!

5. if you’re NOT wearing any makeup, and you need to go to the supermarket- and it’s kind of a hip and trendy market you shop at- who cares? go inside without make-up. Stop worrying so much. Only you know how truly ugly you could possibly look in that moment.

6. today is the first day of the rest of your life! Get a cork board! Put it up on your bedroom wall! Write down ALL your dreams that you want to come true. Write each goal individually on an index card. Push a pin through each card, so that its hanging from the cork board! Voila: you’re one step closer to your dreams coming true!

7. NEVER double text. It’s makes you look super lame! For serious!

8. love your body.

9. really, you’re gonna eat ALL that pasta? no, go right ahead! that’s cool with me fathead! the bigger you get, the smaller I look!

10. hmmm, am I sounding like a hypocrite? wake the fuck up! Life IS hypocrital. Do the best you can and don’t get so easily offended! Why would you think I’m even talking to/about YOU specifically? why are you making anything i writeΒ personal enough to offend you? It’s not all about you! Like when that pussycat dolls song came out; the one that says “don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” Well, how do you think I felt? I was a tad offended! I’m not gonna lie. But THEN I realized, it wasn’t about me! And even if it COULD be personalized- why would I place myself on the losing end of being the lamo girlfriend? Life is hypocritical. And it’s all how you look at it.


13 Responses to “the blind leading the blind part 15:”

  1. This post is fucking golden, I love you!


  2. I would say that this is very zen.


  3. For Serious!


  4. Words cannot describe how much I enjoy these posts.


  5. #7 What is double texting? Is that sending a text twice? Usually by accident?


  6. Nevermind! I googled double texting. It’s either texting multiple people at once & mixing up convo’s. Or sending texts in a row with out waiting for a reply or something. I got it now.


  7. amen.


  8. Thanks for Number 7. I really needed that today.


  9. Makeup is overrated. Not that their word is law or anything, but Vice agrees.

    http://www.viceland.com/issues_au/v2n3/htdocs/the_vice.php

    “Women can wear perfume and makeup, we guess, but it’s not appreciated. Like expensive haircuts, makeup and perfume are something women spend all their money on even though men couldn’t give less of a shit (keep spending all your cash on shoes, though, we do care about those).”


  10. fuck the haters. more blind leading the blind posts!


  11. bullshit, makeup is overrated!! they can say that cuz its not like women will ever actually believe it, but what if we did?!?! then they’d be like, “hey, remember the days when women used to have great hair, look beauitful and smell AWESOME?!? now they all just look like they rolled out of bed.”
    luckilyyyy, anyone who says makeup is overrated is dumb, and no one listens.


  12. Men DO care about makeup, they just don;t KNOW it’s make-up that is making you look a little cuter, fresher, and rosier. Please girls, stop thinking that you are TOO GOOD for makeup. It’s just a fact of life.


  13. I think you mean to say that life is absurd, not hypocritical, as people, the actors of actions, are hypocrites, while “life” is a concept (predicate) to be characterized, a la “absurd.” *self satisfied pat on the back*


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