BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 16) – special edition, for boys only:
1. dudes, please bathe more. that includes washing AND conditioning your hair (and your privates- if you’re fancy and/or classy).
2. if you have dandruff, look into a specialty shampoo. selson blue or head and shoulders DOESN’T always do it. and flaky white chunks, falling from your scalp, are not sexy.
3. dudes! Wash your fucking towels! If they smell like mildew, chances are your dick is gonna smell like mildew too. I can’t tell you how many bummer blow jobs I’ve given to dudes who’s dick smelled like mildew. Oh, yeah- I actually can remember! ONE! I BROKE UP WITH HIM THE NEXT MORNING and i never saw him again; AND I’ve never let it happen again. but it haunts me like a bad dream. dudes, don’t ruin your sex life! fyi: girls talk! don’t let your reputation be annihilated just because you don’t like doing laundry. Just don’t.
4. knowing how to give good head AND actually practicing this talent on a woman gives you so much power. the more you make her cum, the more power you have.
5. if you CAN pay for dinner AND you just STARTED dating her, pay for fucking dinner! otherwise you really have no business bringing her to a restaurant to begin with. if you invite her- you pay for her!
6. be creative with your date ideas.
7. hold the door for the girl. it’s free you scumbag.
8. walk on the side of the girl, closest to the street. she’s not a prostitute, so don’t flaunt her to drivers- by like she is! also, you’re protecting her from being splashed by cars driving through puddles.
9. don’t walk in front of a girl like she’s a dog following you. trust me, it looks bad.
10. suck on her nipples dude. just do it. and a light nip caress with your hand, WHILE you’re kissing her, wouldn’t kill you either.
11. make a lot of money and have passion and drive. this is sexy.
12. and make her a mix CD why don’t you? if you do this at the beginning of the relationship, that’s great…. but if you surprise her six months or a year into it, just because you can-just because you WANT to… she will freak the fuck out and drop to her knees just to thank you with a blow job. and if she DOESN’T…. you have my full permission to punch her in the face with your dick! but you’ll have to do it quick, because your erection will totally be fading! hey, i never claimed to be a role model. I’m just thinking out loud here.