BLOG » OH SHIT, IT’S WEDNESDAY!

terry-richardson-belvedere-vodka-52208-1

hey girl heeeyyyy! the break up list continues! i know break ups are hard, but you MUST handle your shit and take control of your life! you can’t just fall to pieces! do not let your heart drop into the pit of your stomach! keep moving, and keep busy! the minute you stop, you might collapse, so just keep going forward:

DUH! GO SHOPPING!

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT PICK AT YOUR FACE!

DO NOT CHECK HIS FACEBOOK/TWITTER PAGE/OR BLOG EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR!

BREATHE! STOP WONDERING WHEN, AND WITH WHO HE’S GONNA MAKE-OUT WITH OR SEXX FIRST! DON’T LET HIS ACTIONS DEFINE YOUR ACTIONS. ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO YOURSELF! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. AND WHEN YOU’RE READY/WANT TO FOOL AROUND WITH SOMEONE NEW- DO IT! BUT DON’T TRY TO PROVE A POINT TO HIM.

YOU CAN’T BE MAD IF HE KISSES/SEXXXES SOMEONE NEW. HE’S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND ANYMORE.

(HOLY FUCK. THAT LAST ONE WAS EVEN TOO MUCH FOR ME, AND I’M WRITING THIS LIST! YUCK. JUST THE THOUGHT MAKES ME WANT TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK AND DIE/FUCK EVERYONE AS I RIP HIS HEART OUT FOR MAKING ME DO IT- CUZ HE DID IT FIRST AND I WANT TO SHOW HIM HOW MUCH HIS ACTIONS HURT ME. EVEN THOUGH HE’S NOT MINE/NOT MY LITTLE BEAR CUB ANYMORE! ANYWAYZIES, BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING ABOUT STAYING POSITIVE:)

NO! DON’T HAVE SEX WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS! DO I REALLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY?

DON’T WASTE TOO MUCH TIME RE-HASHING WHAT HAPPENED, WITH EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO CALLS AND SAYS ‘WHAT HAPPENED?’ IT’S OK FOR THE FIRST COUPLE OF DAYS. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT’S EATING INTO TIME THAT COULD BE SPENT MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVELY!

HAVE POWER MEETINGS- ALL DAY, EVERYDAY! WOOOO!

WATCH BRIDGET JONES DIARY AND THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA! CUZ YOU CAN!

MAKE-OUT WITH VINCENT GALLO!

WITHOUT KNOWING HOW OR WHY, ASSUME YOU’LL BE ATTENDING THE ACADAMY AWARDS NEXT YEAR- AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY! TAKE YOURSELF SERIOUSLY, MAINTAIN YOUR BEAUTY, AND TREAT YOURSELF LIKE THE PRINCESS YOU ARE! NO YOU!

MOISTURIZE EVERY BIT OF YOUR BODY BEFORE BED! ESPECIALLY YOUR BOOBS EVEN!

DON’T GET LAZY AND FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH/FLOSS!

DO YOUR LAUNDRY FOR GOD’S SAKE!

GO OUT DANCING WITH YOUR RE-INSTATED GIRLFRIENDS. BUT DON’T HAVE SEX WITH SOME RANDOM DUDE YOU MEET AT THE CLUB! IT’S OK IF A GUY CORNERS YOU FOR A MAKE-OUT THOUGH. I MEAN, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT IF HE’S  WAY PERSUASIVE AND A BABE!

ORGANIZE YOUR CLOSET YOU SCOUNDRAL!

HANG OUT WITH NATE AT FAMILY BOOKSTORE!

SELL THE SHIT YOU DON’T NEED/WANT ANYMORE- AND WHATEVER THEY WON’T BUY, DONATE TO GOODWILL! YOUR BREAK-UP IS SAVING LIVES!

SEE MOVIES ALONE AT THE ARCLIGHT!

GO TO THE 101 CAFE BY YOURSELF AFTER THE MOVIE AND PEOPLE WATCH! IF YOU SEE A HOT BABE, AND I MEAN UUBER HOT, SEND HIM A PEICE OF CAKE AND WAVE!

WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL! GET IT ALL OUT BITCH!….. ON PAPER… GROSS!

TAKE EPIC WALKS AROUND THE CITY!

GO ON LONG DRIVES!

LISTEN TO OLDIES! BUT NO MIX CD’S HE MADE FOR YOU!

DO KARAOKE WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS!

GET YOUR HAIR DONE DID!

LOOK GREAT WHEN YOU GO TO HIS HOUSE TO PICK UP THE REST OF YOUR STUUFF. EVEN THOUGH, TECHNICALLY, HE SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT ALL TO YOU. BUT, LET’S FACE IT, HAVING AN EXCUSE TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN IS PRETTY EXCITING! AM I RIGHT?!

HAVE BREAKFAST AT A FANCY HOTEL! FOR EXAMPLE: SIT AT THE COUNTER AT THE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL COFFEE SHOP!

DO NOT SLEEP WITH ANY/ALL OF YOUR EX’S FRIENDS! IT’S NOT COOL. NOT COOL AT ALL. UNLESS HE DID IT TO YOU. THEN GO FOR IT. AN EYE FOR AN EYE! EVEN IF IT MIGHT MAKE THE WORLD BLIND!

did i mention i love you? cuz i do! xoxo

PS: click HERE for ANOTHER reminder of why it’s better to be single than with the wrong person. xo


19 Responses to “OH SHIT, IT’S WEDNESDAY!”

  1. Brilliant! You are such a star. I’m telling everyone in London who matters about your blog. XX


  2. GREAT advice even for those of us not recently broken up. Love the use of “scoundrel” ha!!! Really enjoy this blog!!


  3. oh, i love family bookstore. not just for nate, but all the money i spend there. go see movies at the cinefamily down the street, too!


  4. I’ve recently begun reading your blog. It’s basically amazing, esp. this post. So true.


  5. god i wish i would’ve had this blog around when i was freshly heart-broken. bookmarking for next time!


  6. oh my god, this is perfect!


  7. You, my dear, are an inspiration. Thanks for being so candid and helpful, I’m sure I’ll be taking your advice if I’m ever heart-broken that way.

    And, I love you too!


  8. You, my dear, are an inspiration. Thanks for being so candid and helpful, I’m sure I’ll be taking your advice if I’m ever heart-broken that way.

    And, I love you too!


  9. Yayyy for more break up advice !! Always love reading your posts,make me smile and laugh at times 🙂

    Love you too <3


  10. Here is everything she capitizied: oh never mind.


  11. Sorry Alexi, this is why it will never work out between us.
    If I ever had a relationship I wouldnt want it ending up online for everyone to read. Even if you are being really nice about it. lol

    Good stuff though.Im trying to edit them in my head to make it work for a guys perspective.


  12. Great advice, great blog.
    But is there anyway this pain can be ripped out of my body, because I’m bored with it. And I’m bored with guys who think they’re different, but arn’t.


  13. oh lady. what you should really do is burn something important to you, stick it in a jar and bury it in the woods somewhere. that’s my northern california wiccan way of dealing with things.


  14. […] regret later.  Go read her full list, but as an amuse bouche I’ve included my favorite Break Up List points–with my own personal opinions. hey girl heeeyyyy! the break up list continues! i know […]


  15. http://www.thebreakupalbum.com/

    Listen to it.


  16. Loved the two Break Up Lists you posted! You inspired me so much that I wrote a little thing about it on my site! Keep being awesome and can’t wait to read more!!!


  17. j’adore ça! i’ve recently gotten out of a breakup and handled it marvelously thanks to you. also, i need an opinion. hopefully you read these posts because: what are your thoughts on friends after breakups?

    i personally think its silly and trivial to try to attempt to act nonchalant and comfortable around someone who broke your heart. but lately everyone has been telling me i should make peace with the dude and at least say: can you please stop being awkward because i’m fine. this is only an issue because we see each other every day. inadvertently. i have no desire to get back together with him. i’ve hooked up with hotties and i look damn fine everyday and gotten on with my life…but i still feel like i’m this weird stage…

    advice please!

    i love you!


  18. I had sex with many of my ex’s closest friends. But, I live in a smalltown with no one to have sex with otherwise. There’s only about 12 sexables. Lucky people in other cities who have anonymity. Incest + smalltown go hand in hand, Peyton Place.


  19. I swear to God, you’ll save my life


Leave a Reply