BLOG » reminder for the girls:


i don’t know about you girls- but i wanna live a VERY full life, have lots of sex, make a lot of money (so i’m never at anyone elses whim), be happy, make a positive contribution to the world, surround myself with people i love and respect; who love and respect me- people who make me laugh/inspire me, and have friendships that are MUTUALLY rewarding emotionally! i want a boyfriend who makes me feel safe, encourages me in everything i do, is my best friend/sidekick, super sexy, and great in bed. no routines!

it’s important not to be boring, taken for granted, thought of as ‘old news’ or dull, clingy, un-fun, etc! it’s fucking hard as fuck to be a girl. now, then, and since forever! we buy creams, deal with the rationale that men age better than women and that women fall apart as the years go by…. we have to be beautiful 24/7, successful career-wise, bear/take care of the kids. we do it all.

something has shifted recently and women are turning into men! which is great. but it’s confusing. monogamy is hard… for WOMEN too! and after seeing ‘he’s just not that into you’, i’m compelled to reassess what i want in life- in a career AND from a man. i never really wanted to get married or have kids because i feel like there are too many other things to do……. and that marriage and kids are things i’ve been brainwashed into thinking i HAVE to do or HAVE to want. but for the same reason that compels me to try everything… i want to know what it feels like to make (well, i know HOW to MAKE a baby) i want to FEEL what it’s like to HAVE a baby….someday…but definitely not now! i’m still not sure about the marriage thing. to me, i feel like it’s the future… and there are no rules anymore. we live in a pick and choose era of what works on a case by case basis.

the idea of having a child NOW scares the shit out of me. the one time i let a guy cum in the condom while he was inside of me, it broke and i couldn’t have run faster to get the morning after pill. that was the first time i’ve ever taken it… and the last. it didn’t feel good emotionally. i kept waiting to feel sick, but i didn’t really….maybe a little synthetic and sluggish. but it’s poison. and i never want to be in that situation again.

the point is, we have so many choices and options as women. maybe even MORE than men. THEY can’t carry a child. just know how special you are and how many options you have. don’t take that for granted or be taken for granted…. ever.

22 Responses to “reminder for the girls:”

  1. Alexi, remember that if we as men cannot trust a woman to at least WANT to be monogomous we will stop trying to be nice. You will always be a toy to us. A jump off. That’s all women who think like us become. We can sense it usually, and also, word gets around.

    If that’s what you want, then cool. If not then watch what you say because what you get may not be what you had in mind.

  2. Oh, by the way, I love your blog.

    No, seriously.

  3. I needed exactly a post like this xo

  4. I am familiar with the the rationale (which sucks) that men age better than women and that women fall apart as the years go by.

    There is another side to the coin though,
    men get the same deal when they get injured or old and can’t
    perform physical tasks like lifting, building, etc.
    (which also sucks)

  5. That is very true.
    And pb: I never said I don’t want to be monagamous- I’m just pointing out that it’s not black and white. Men are always painted as the ones who cheat. This is not so. If anything, I’m taking some of the blame and guilt off men. All I’m saying is- things are shifting and changing.

  6. that was great to read. and i’ve for sure said similar things after breakups. but don’t you think it’s a bit calculated? to make this litany of things one is looking for? maybe when it’s right, it will simply feel right, and we won’t have to worry about what the name of the commitment is, or if there will be a child or not.

    maybe i’m dreaming.

  7. oh hi , i’m new here and am so glad this is your post today. there can be power in marriage and kids, it’s just not the same as the power in being a young, single “it” girl. I am constantly facing/confronting/reinventing my married and parental self. Although I am not the hot threatening mess I used to be, I am safe, in love, but also challenged every day by my husband and little girls. So, my life is still very rad, and that younger, hotter version of me is still in there and allowed to come out whenever she wants:)
    I also am kinda into living vicariously through people who have such a different lifestyle than me! I can totally appreciate your choices and happy to see them played out and written out! So yay for the power in choosing!

  8. I LOVE YOU ALEXI!! ur the funniest blogger in the whole blogsphere! i posted your link on my site. mwahugz!

  9. brilliant.

    thats all i wanted to say – seeing as i felt it described it all.
    but then it says my comment is too short – therefore not letting me make my bold and great statement oh how brilliant this is.
    anyways, hope this is long enough now.
    good post.


  10. This is so so true ! And we as women like have to do things that we are ordered to do. Which I hate,like its a MUST !

    Living a full and happy life is so important <3

  11. first time here! your post made me feel like i just scored an A+ in a class where I only score D minuses.

    new loyal reader!

  12. Marriage and kids scare me too. I mean they are the most seriously serious commitments you can make. It’s weird that I have this feeling deep down that I want those things eventually. I don’t know if it is because of how I was raised. I love the idea of having a husband, having that intense a bond and that strong a commitment. If you can find a guy like the one you described, it sounds so very appealing, as long as you don’t lose your identity in the relationship. I worry about that.

  13. So lemme get this straight…You won’t let a guy cum inside you even if he has a condom on? Not that I think that’s unreasonable or anything (certainly safe, as I’ve broken my share) but eh….kind of a spoiler for me.

  14. are you a dude?

  15. Of course I am.

  16. well, if you think it’s a reasonable request… try to understand instead of being turned off. a BIGGER turnoff is getting an std, or preggers after a night that was supposed to just be fun and epic. how would you feel if the girl was your daughter or sister? xo

  17. you arent brainwashed, you just cant fight nature.

  18. my ex of 7 years kept talking marriage so i broke up with him. i cant even think about children although most women my age (25) are already hitched and some with a bun in the oven.

    kids..maybe in future but don’t they just wreck havoc on your bodies? stretch marks and droopy boobies? hell NAW!

  19. my ex of 7 years kept talking marriage so i broke up with him. i cant even think about children although most women my age (25) are already hitched and some with a bun in the oven.

    kids..maybe in future but don’t they just wreck havoc on your bodies? stretch marks and droopy boobies? hell NAW!

  20. how do you go about not letting a guy cum in you?! what do you say to him?

  21. You just ask lightly and sexily. It’ll just have to happen naturally. But, feel free to practice in front of the mirror.I love you. Good luck. Xo

  22. DAMN thank you SOOOOO Much for having this blog! I have had a boyfriend for 4 years and we just broke up a few months ago, whenever i read your blog it makes me feel like instantly better, seriously, that not being taken for granted shit is true, so thanks again and keep it coming 🙂

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