BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 20):

marc-harm

1. a guy who loves you doesn’t cum on your face- especially if he hasn’t met your parents!

2. making out is like medicine- and sometimes, it’s like a free micro-dermabrasion!

3. don’t move your lips while you text.

4. every time you break up-it’s like you’re a virgin all over again, and whoย you lose your virginity too is very important. So choose wisely!

5. don’t buy four packs of condoms at rite aide on sunset and Fairfax, in all different sizes, then make eye contact and smile at random dudes in line. it’s off-putting.

6. don’t put lip gloss on in public. It makes you look desperate and insecure. I say this because I am constantly putting lip gloss on in public and men have told me that I appear super desperate and insecure.

7. blue-tooth + you = unfuckable and wrong.

8. ‘once you go black, you never go back’ is not just a catchy phrase.

9. nine shallow, one deep. figure it out dudes.

10. clean out your fucking closet you trash hording filth monger! and i mean that in the NICEST way!


22 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 20):”

  1. where are we suppose to splooge? boobs and belly?


  2. Even as a guy, reading this blog today and reading your post-break-up inspirational texts has really helped me out. It’s hard (and really sad) to believe that it’s nearly been a year since I got dumped, and some of this advice is the kind of stuff you KNOW, but you just need to hear. Sometimes over and over and over. Thank you, from your new loyal reader.


  3. I’m not sure how serious you are about 1, but it’s so very wrong.


  4. “nine shallow, one deep.”

    Please elaborate.

    Were you actually counting?

    Counting during sex is not sexy.


  5. Sounds like YOU’RE a little TOO serious about it.


  6. i remember that marc jacobs ad


  7. Dear Alexi, I’d be very interested to know if you are on Birth Control and/or how you feel about it.

    Love,
    Julie


  8. Alexi,
    You are fabulous.
    And I totally agree with you about #1. Ask me how I know he’s in love with me and there’s your answer. So glad you’re on the same page.
    <3333
    Bunny


  9. I love the blind leading the blind posts.
    4- and it feels like it too. I go into a panic at the first hint of pain.
    5- I usually online because i’m such a chump to buy at the regular store.
    6- I try to be discreat.
    1-never, not even after I’m married. some things are better left for the movies.


  10. oh god. does burt’s bees count as lipgloss?! UGH


  11. You are F’ng adorable. This made me laugh and honestly– I think you are very intuitive and you have depth. You “get it.” I love how you shed some comic relief on real topics and that’s a gift to combine the two– and I’m not solely referring to this entry. hahaha. Nicely done.


  12. come one people 9 shallow,one deep
    You dont know what that means.
    In my book it means if you get into buisness for 10 pumps.You should do the first 9 a little then a big one to finish and over and over and over.
    Etc etc etc…


  13. And to think I always thought girls meant they had 9 shallow friends and 1 deep friend… back to the drawing board!


  14. I’m glad Julie finally asked. My guess is no.

    9 shallow then 1 deep to start…Sure that makes sense. But not throughout the course of the sex. It’s sex people, not a fucking breathing exercise. Save the weird tantric shit for Sting and couples who need to spice things up.


  15. Dear alexi

    you keep me laughing.

    Peace
    flow.


  16. Always love reading your posts girl ! And i’m looking forward to the next one already :))

    Ohhhh I tend to do #3 a lot,not sure if its good or bad. But getting rid of the habit


  17. def agree with #2 and #8.

    I just want to say that after a long terrible day of dealing with other ppl’s bulls*** it’s awesome to read your blog, smile, and be reminded that life is supposed to be about having fun and getting adventurous.

    keep it up : )


  18. i only let the men i love cum on face. nope thats a lie, i am such a slut. lol. love your posts!

    xoxo


  19. also i think women are capable of separating emotions and sex as long as we make the the man leave right after or first thing in the morning. hanging out with a fuck buddy leads to feelings. not bad thing just saying how it happens.


  20. Putting lip gloss on in public can be very sexy!! It’s one of my moves.. But you have to do it the right way. Purse your lips and and move the lip gloss sensual and slowly over your lips ;) Make him want to BE the lip gloss. Trust me, it works!


  21. That’s harmony korine in the picture. he directed a commercial i did, worked with him for two weeks


  22. Can I make a suggestion? I believe youve acquired something good here. However what if you added a couple links to a page that backs up what youre saying? Or possibly you may give us one thing to look at, one thing that might join what youre saying to something tangible? Only a suggestion.


Leave a Reply