BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 26):

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1. try not to be such a cunt. This isn’t exclusive to women.

2. try not to reveal all your weaknesses to everyone you know. This is what your shrink is for.

3. it’s totally ok to hate dogs. Just, keep it to yourself/a low pro- you jerky dog hater. Don’t be too grumpy about it, and definitely don’t kick them or anything. but telling someone ‘I don’t want to hold, pet, touch, or be near your dog.’ – is totally fine! that’s what I do! and people love it!

4. just because it’s cold out, doesn’t mean you can stop waxing your vadge you monster!

5. read ‘love junkie‘! it’s a totally great book about love addiction/Rachel Resnick’s memoir. trust me, and just get it!

6. stop being such a racist! racist! everybody’s talking about it. we ALL know.

7. wear make-up. you’re definitely uglier without it. Even if you’re perfect (whatever that means), throw on some mascara- it can’t HURT/you won’t regret it.

8. don’t fake tan. Ever.

9. think positive thoughts. Not HIV positive thoughts, just good vibe thoughts.

10. don’t smell perfume being sold in a parking lot. this is a scam. it will make you black out and be raped. Somewhere a legitimate parking lot perfume vendor is shaking his fists at me and wishing me dead! but better to be safe than sorry! xo

ps: my lovely intern Kendra sent me this quote from the movie ‘2 days in paris’ – i love it/think you should read it. it’s about the endless search for love and the cycle of the search. xo

“Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I’ll never see him again like this… well yes, I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we’ll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There’s a moment in life where you can’t recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else’s kisses.”


24 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 26):”

  1. #3 is totally me about babies. Is it OK to admit that I don’t like babies? They can totally smell my fear. It sucks. And regarding #8, do spray tans count?!

    (http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/)


  2. 6. I’m glad you’re on top of that racist shit. I see you put your scarlet R away for the time being. Haha. Just kidding.

    2 Days in Paris was a surprisingly good movie. Adam Goldberg is quite the dream boat. Can you please try and get him in one of your vids? Thanks.


  3. alexi, if you get adam goldberg to do an imboycrazy interview…it is imperative that i be there.
    xo


  4. OMG #7 is absolutely true! The magic is in the makeup!


  5. I hope by fake tan you mainly mean fake-baking, why can’t people just enhance their natural colour instead of destroying their skin?
    PS: We all know it’s fake and you look ridiculous and old. True story.


  6. that’s a great quote from a great movie.


  7. Hahahaha @ #9! Also, 2 Days in Paris is such a great movie!!


  8. i watched “2 days in paris” with the last boy who broke my heart

    HOW.DAMN.IRONIC.


  9. So agree with all the #s!

    When my ex and I broke up a few months back, one of my friends sent me a quote form a TV show (funnily, I saw it 2 a few days later….I think it was on Grey’s anatomy or something like this…hum….still, that quote works pretty well, I think. yes, love can hurt, but it is so worth it!)

    “I don’t know much about love, I have traveled on it, once or twice, but always it seemed more trouble than it was worth. I told myself I wasn’t missing much… But watching you, all these years… how hard you’ve tried, how hurt you’ve been. But you just still keep getting back up, dust yourself off, and you try again. Maybe I am missing something, maybe it is worth it… And I am sure it is not gonna help you to hear me telling you this but, you’re damn heroic to me, you are.”


  10. The long speeches could be your therapist. The boys with facial hair could be apes.


  11. love you , you crazy great girl peace love rosanna


  12. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only 🙁 🙁 🙁


  13. To #8 commenter Rebecca, that’s not IRONIC.
    You should read this: http://www.cracked.com/article_15664_9-words-that-dont-mean-what-you-think.html


  14. fuck yeah adam goldberg


  15. i have yet to find one single girl who doesn’t look better with a dash of mascara and even a little eyeliner for good measure. girls who brag about not wearing makeup are idiots who aren’t interested in getting ahead in life via feeling awesome and even a little flashy.


  16. Don’t shave your cunt, you might cut yourself. The blood…ITS EVERYWHERE!!!


  17. gross.


  18. Shaved cnut = razor burn 4 the conscientious BF x plucked chicken (visually)


  19. @Yukes, by definition language is only valid in the ways the people choose to use it…soooo if i use it incorrectly, and everyone else does it doesnt MATTER what the word means

    kinda..IRONIC..dontyahthink!??!


  20. I hate hate fake tan too,urghhhh. And also no to racists and HUGE yes to makeup! Cannot ever leave your house without at least some powde on:)


  21. #4 is a joke right? Guess I’m a monster year round. OOPS!


  22. also LOL at Rebecca. You’re seriously stupid. So using a word the way I want will change it’s meaning? So I can start dropping the N bomb whenever I want if I say I’m referring to cats? Lol. No.


  23. Rebecca, if what you say is true, why do we have dictionaries and rules of grammar? And that’s STILL not ironic. You’re stupid.


  24. wtf do you have an intern for? you suck.


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