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p_diddy

Dear Mr. P. Diddy,
My name is Alexi Wasser and this is my silly website. i like to think of it as a contribution, but that’s just me. this letter is a precursor to a dream come true. One day soon, I’d like to interview you! And when that day comes, there’s a strong chance you might fall in love with me, which I am totally open to….. maybe even excited about!

I heard you’re in a relationship, so I don’t wanna come on too strong- but I’d be doing you a disservice if i didn’t tell you that i think you’re a sexy babe fox! Yeah, you heard me: As cute as a baby fox! I really enjoy all of your inspiring reality shows that not only encourage people to dream big, but gives them a chance to have those dreams come true. Your straight face/TOTALLY intimidating persona is a turn on in a major way. or maybe they just tug on the strings connected to my daddy issues! who knows! who cares! this is just me, talking to you! in a dream bubble if you will. let’s not psycho analyze, it’ll kill the mood.

I don’t know if you even like white girls, and even if you do- if you’d like a Tim Burton/nightmare before Christmas character-esque blogger girl with a leggo haircut. But I’m selling myself short. I’m all that and more! i promise; if we were to date, I’d let you (how do you say) ‘turn me out’? and together, we’d take the world by storm! I’d be your tall white girlfriend and you’d be my black/power playing/mogul/sex god! We wouldn’t even have to explain this to the public- cuz they’d see it for themselves. I’m very tall, and very white. there’d be no way to miss us!

I will work on turning my flat bum into a bangin’ ass butt! I will drop it down low and bring it up slow. I will wear only white to all your white parties. I will make you proud. And even if our rendezvous is a quick tryst- it will be epic! Our pillow talk will be adorable. Me, with my sarcasm, witty banter, self deprecating/effacing/charming nonsense! I’ll ask you questions about business and look deep into your eyes (so often shielded by expensive designer shades), and believe everything and anything you say- simply because you’re: P Diddy, Puff, Diddy, Sean Combs, Sean John, Mr. Combs, A stellar stud!

If you were my manz, I would squeeze you tight and tell you about obscure indie bands you’ve never heard of. Not that you need me to do that for you. I’m sure you have people for that. I mean, after all, you do have a show about people wanting to work for you.

Bottom line: you are a babe. I bet you have a 12 pack tummy tum. I want to squeeze your muscles and look into your eyes- the windows to the/your soul. i would even write a rap for you, if you were too tired to write one yourself and the record label was breathing down your neck about deadlines! You don’t even have to give me credit. It’ll be our little secret. one of many, i hope.

I’ll take a pole dancing class for you even! if that’s what you’d like. I say that only because I’ve seen a lot of mtv’s cribs episodes and got the impression that successful dudes, like yourself, enjoy stripper poles and a woman with know how on those poles (better to be safe than sorry) NOT because you’re black and I’m suggesting that black dudes are the only dudes who like girls on a pole. Not at all. i thought we were closer than that. how dare you!

Anyway, this is how I feel. So, I’ll leave it at that.

and if you’re NOT into it, and by ‘it’ i mean me….. will you at least set me up with snoop, kanye, mos, eminem, lil wayne, a laker, drake, or someone else as sexy/mogul-y/and god like as you?

Lot’s of love, Alexi

aka: boycrazy

aka: a-dubs

aka: the lex-meister

aka: diddy’s girl?

By: boycrazy on December 28, 2009
Tags: , , , ,


59 Responses to “an open letter to sean ‘diddy’ combs:”

  1. MP, on December 28th, 2009 at 7:12 am Said:

    you’re my hero a-dubs.


  2. Ellen, on December 28th, 2009 at 7:27 am Said:

    Way to put yourself out there, Alexi. And um, yeah, I’m pretty sure Mr. Combs doesn’t discriminate against white girls! Good luck ;)

    http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/


  3. Lauren Frazier, on December 28th, 2009 at 7:41 am Said:

    Girl, you should totally just go for Mos Def. He seems more approachable/not so intimidating. Like a nice cuddly warm teddy bear.


  4. Adele, on December 28th, 2009 at 7:41 am Said:

    Hahaha. Diddy is so rude… and sexy…


  5. sara camiscioni, on December 28th, 2009 at 8:14 am Said:

    This is hilarious.
    I do have a liking to Mos though. yummmmmmmmmmmm


  6. Chris, on December 28th, 2009 at 8:17 am Said:

    p.s. we could even share lip gloss when we go on dates. and you could use your charming phrase “let’s go” even though we weren’t moving.


  7. Allie, on December 28th, 2009 at 8:33 am Said:

    You already know this, but you are cute! Thanks for morning smiles!


  8. Mrr Drrr, on December 28th, 2009 at 8:37 am Said:

    did i miss something, or were you casually in a york peppermit patty commercial?!


  9. , on December 28th, 2009 at 8:46 am Said:

    hahaha @ Chris.
    why in gods name would you want anything to do with diddy. he eats babies.
    i agree to go after Mos or Common, hes a yummy beige rapper.


  10. luke, on December 28th, 2009 at 8:52 am Said:

    you go girl! :p


  11. lluvia, on December 28th, 2009 at 9:00 am Said:

    lmao this is classic! I don’t agree w/ Diddy being your 1st choice but Mos Def yummm imagine falling asleep to that deep smooth voice everynight? yikes!


  12. lol, on December 28th, 2009 at 9:17 am Said:

    you coulda chosen a hotter blk dude yo


  13. Lauren, on December 28th, 2009 at 9:55 am Said:

    holy radness.. best monday morning read.. Ever! <3 you. you so funnnny…!


  14. Ariel, on December 28th, 2009 at 10:01 am Said:

    HAHA! Yes, girl. Yes!


  15. sofia, on December 28th, 2009 at 10:39 am Said:

    Eminem as a next choice, really? After all that surgery he’s so scary!


  16. Tereza, on December 28th, 2009 at 10:40 am Said:

    I guess I could make post like this too, but instead P. Diddy I would adress Mr. George Clooney or J.Law :D


  17. Abby, on December 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am Said:

    Girl, mos def is sooooo the hottiest of all those dudez.


  18. Lady D, on December 28th, 2009 at 11:11 am Said:

    LexO,
    Read your wish letter to Diddy.
    Yo, it’s a pitty that he can’t
    see how pretty you be
    he’d be climing up a tree if he
    only knew the diff between white green tea
    and verve clique.
    I will send William to his door if he doesn’t
    respond. Love you, Lady D and Miss E


  19. Marina, on December 28th, 2009 at 11:29 am Said:

    omg Alexi i love you!
    go for mos def, I met him once on the streets, he is chill. And fine.


  20. boycrazy, on December 28th, 2009 at 11:32 am Said:

    wow, this is like a mos def fanclub page.


  21. Pat!, on December 28th, 2009 at 1:09 pm Said:

    i promise; if we were to date, I’d let you (how do you say) ‘turn me out’?

    LOL!!!

    i love you alexi aka a-dubs


  22. @hquizzle, on December 28th, 2009 at 1:58 pm Said:

    Awesome letter, if that doesn’t get him then I don’t know what would. BTW – I would scratch Kanye if it were my list (which it isn’t) since he is the #1 d-bag in hip hop =)


  23. Cricket, on December 28th, 2009 at 3:43 pm Said:

    Just saw you on the york peppermint patty commercial! Looking adorable as always!


  24. inisia, on December 28th, 2009 at 7:01 pm Said:

    I must say this OPEN Letter is awesome its all over twitter
    Follow me @inisia. Look foward to reading more.


  25. tilly, on December 28th, 2009 at 7:11 pm Said:

    OMG this is priceless!!


  26. Rush, on December 28th, 2009 at 9:07 pm Said:

    I LOVED this. I love those guys, especially Lil Wayne, Kanye & Drake–It’s not even the looks, it’s all of that ATTITUDE. and the voice on Lil Wayne could get me any time, any place, anywhere.

    This was an awesome read!


  27. Sarah R. N., on December 28th, 2009 at 9:08 pm Said:

    Hahahaha this is great, but seriously……
    Drake, yes please!


  28. T, on December 28th, 2009 at 9:41 pm Said:

    I vote for Pharrell, he’s ace


  29. Jahaira B., on December 28th, 2009 at 9:41 pm Said:

    You and I would be great friends.
    You should go for T.I. and mail this to his jail cell.
    You could visit him and such.
    And do all that 50 cent 21 questions shit.


  30. ♥, on December 28th, 2009 at 9:43 pm Said:

    I’m with T, Pharrell is gorgeous.


  31. Diana, on December 28th, 2009 at 10:31 pm Said:

    Haha I´m gonna get to work on writing my own celebrity crush letter. But there are so many to choose from. I guess I should get to work on writing a celebrity crush list and narrowing down my choices. Wow, this is more difficult than I thought.


  32. boycrazy, on December 28th, 2009 at 11:04 pm Said:

    i forgot about kid cudi, ludacris, and pharrell! total babes! shit! i’d say jay z, but he belongs to beyonce! and i’m really happy for them! xo


  33. cee, on December 29th, 2009 at 12:23 am Said:

    RZA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  34. bri, on December 29th, 2009 at 1:06 am Said:

    you are epic<3 and i totally agree kid cudi is a fox so is jeremiah drake and mmmm pharrell good stuff lady :)


  35. meng, on December 29th, 2009 at 1:55 am Said:

    lolllllllll wow. i absolutely love this one.


  36. tuike, on December 29th, 2009 at 5:08 am Said:

    oh man, you are crazy. the stickers and buttons just dropped to my mailbox today and it’s going to take some effort to get all of them around! but i’ll do my best. you’re worth it. xo


  37. Flipz5_RokTheSpot, on December 29th, 2009 at 7:43 am Said:

    you might wanna look up mos def’s track record with his wives. and kids. mighty mos dont play around.

    * this is an excellent letter.

    **this letter might be legally binding.


  38. JJ, on December 29th, 2009 at 10:48 am Said:

    (…) Tim Burton/nightmare before Christmas character-esque blogger girl with a leggo haircut (…)

    love it

    I’m sure all Sean Combs’ on planet earth are into those kinda girls ;)


  39. Steven Augustine, on December 29th, 2009 at 11:26 am Said:

    You are most wondrous and shall lead the children out of the shadow of the valley of the Yucky. Amen.


  40. kasey, on December 29th, 2009 at 1:22 pm Said:

    i’m with cee on RZA. he’s sessy.


  41. Faraday, on December 29th, 2009 at 3:51 pm Said:

    Do you even understand what “turn me out” means….


  42. boycrazy, on December 29th, 2009 at 4:00 pm Said:

    yes, it used to officially mean: turn me into a prostitute. but it also has a lighter casual meaning nowadays. it’s slang. calm down.


  43. skipper, on December 29th, 2009 at 7:28 pm Said:

    i follow him on twitter… basically he and martha stewart are the reason i joined. http://m.twitter.com/IAmDiddy


  44. JUST, on December 29th, 2009 at 8:00 pm Said:

    i just saw your commercial!!!! =)


  45. leigh, on December 29th, 2009 at 9:25 pm Said:

    holy crap you have a lot of guts and i love it!
    i hope diddy reads this and takes you out on a super hot date or something with any and all rendezvous and whatnot..however you spell that r word if i spelled it right.


  46. marloperry, on December 29th, 2009 at 9:28 pm Said:

    This is great. Easily the best thing I’ve read all year…and I read ‘everything is illuminated’ this year. You work it out.


  47. robynpy, on December 30th, 2009 at 2:04 am Said:

    “a dubs” love it.


  48. ryan manning, on December 30th, 2009 at 4:52 am Said:

    a stripper once told me she was going to turn me out


  49. ivy, on December 30th, 2009 at 3:42 pm Said:

    you just like him because he looks like you if you were black and a man! this is not an insult, i think you are very pretty. just sayin.


  50. Angel, on December 30th, 2009 at 9:23 pm Said:

    I see what you see in Diddy. He’s probably smiling right now as he reads my comment on your post about him.

    Pharrel is delicious but he knows it which would mean he could not love you like he should.

    It is very important that you stay away from mos def. he has several hundred children by different women.

    Your stories are good but I think your “hip hop” dance move (note: I said, “move” as in singular”) is better!


  51. jy, on December 31st, 2009 at 7:32 am Said:

    haha! you’re so right.. u look like something out of the nightmare before christmas. love your hair! the cut the colour and the texture!


  52. Christina, on December 31st, 2009 at 5:00 pm Said:

    I needed this laugh the Holidays were draining…Mom Def rocks but he along with ludicris are super short…(I think) I’m 6′… shorter men MOST of the time turn me off *lol* Now Kid Cudi YUMMY-O!!!


  53. ZELEKAAAA, on January 7th, 2010 at 6:54 am Said:

    posted this on my fbook page b/c i am a DIDDY DIE HARD FAN. It was a hit, my girls loved this ish, i never make comments on ur blog, but i do read it.

    all i want is Diddy Dirty Money to read it.

    Diddy is a scorpio btw…


  54. Sean Combs in the (web) flesh, on January 20th, 2010 at 1:04 pm Said:

    Yo Alexi, let’s go…

    212-387-5590


  55. ariana, on January 21st, 2010 at 12:58 am Said:

    hahahahahahhahaha. pharrell is too short for alexi. a dubbs you are fucking hilarious.


  56. Kelsey, on February 19th, 2010 at 10:54 am Said:

    Fucking go for Drake!
    He’s hot AND jewish!
    That’s a fucking win!


  57. Anthony M., on March 11th, 2010 at 7:17 pm Said:

    Alexi, you are so absolutely beautiful! You take my breath away everytime I see you in the York Peppermint Patty commercial. I hope to see you more (on tv) in the future! Best of luck with everything! Even if its in your Puffy quest! :)


  58. Anthony M., on March 11th, 2010 at 7:21 pm Said:

    P.S. It’s my birthday today!! So I figured I’d put that out there! =D


  59. blah, on October 23rd, 2010 at 2:03 am Said:

    mogul-y? so really, like a lot of shallow women, you just want a guy for fame/money. one day your looks will fade and all that will be left is an ugly person on the inside.

    and like most everyone else, you have absolutely horrible taste in rap music (minus eminem/mos). nothing but a bunch a trendy light-weight chart-toppers with horrendous beat selection. 1985-1995 is the era to check.

    ps: snoop, lil wayne, eminem and p diddy are all confirmed cheaters. most serially.

    what a dummy.


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