BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 28):

yayoi

1. i don’t know what it means that some people are ticklish and some people aren’t: but guys who are not ticklish CAN NOT be trusted. it’s just how i feel. end of story!

2. when you answer your phone: accidentally on purpose, make sure you have really cool music playing in the background. Let it play for no longer then three seconds, as you casually fumble for the off switch while saying ‘huh-low.Helooo?’

3. treat em mean, keep em keen.

4. dudes AND girls: don’t text while on a date! i swear to god, it will ruin EVERYTHING!

5. fake crab in California rolls tastes better than real crab. It JUST does. I said it.

6. don’t park super duper close to a driveway! you’re making it really hard for a car to pull in. jerk.

7. wow. Bold move blowing your nose IN PUBLIC! I don’t even wanna tell you how many people saw you do that- even though you think you were totally incognito.

8. don’t send nude pix of yourselves to other people via the Internet or cell phone! this will bite you in the ass in the end! be careful! and don’t let a boy bully you into it. just say no!

9. i remember turning to a girl in the playground when I was in 1st grade and asking her what her moms name was. And she had no idea. make sure you know your moms first name. if only this blog existed then, that first grader wouldn’t forever live on in my mind as the most brain dead girl in the world. god rest her soul.

10. just let him go down on you! enough with the: “no, i can’t, stop it, I’m gross, no….okay, wait, er…i mean no.” ‘s

By: boycrazy on December 9, 2009
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40 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 28):”

  1. j, on December 9th, 2009 at 8:50 am Said:

    #10 – the guy should be the judge of whether things are good enough to eat down there. a squeamish girl is a turn-off and makes me expect lights-off blankets-on missionary to be her method of choice…


  2. Rosie, on December 9th, 2009 at 8:56 am Said:

    OMG. PLEASE JUST LET HIM GO DOWN ON YOU. You will LOVE it — granted he does it right. BUT JUST FUCKING LET HIM.


  3. emilyclaire, on December 9th, 2009 at 9:17 am Said:

    I actually laughed out loud at number 9!

    I totally remember kids thinking their mum’s name was actually just mum!


  4. Rebecca, on December 9th, 2009 at 10:49 am Said:

    boys who go down on your snatch are definitely a major catch.


  5. ktown, on December 9th, 2009 at 12:11 pm Said:

    #4 amen! it will ruin you and open the floodgates of [insecure] questions from the other party which would open the floodgates of [uncertain] questions from yourself! a mad dialogue will ensue, in the form of a soliloquy later in the night when you’re alone. it really is best to turn phone off.


  6. Thedayafteryoudie, on December 9th, 2009 at 12:16 pm Said:

    hahahaha it’s too funny that # 10 is in quotes.


  7. Ariel, on December 9th, 2009 at 12:33 pm Said:

    Ew! Public nose blowers!!


  8. hayley, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:24 pm Said:

    #10.
    If he offers, you better damn-well accept it.


  9. esb, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:26 pm Said:

    #8 TOO LATE! but thanks to this- never again.. not even for his naked model drawing class!


  10. dannyciffe, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:28 pm Said:

    2 & 3 are completely what it’s all about. powpow!


  11. bea, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:31 pm Said:

    haha love #2, I do that all the time


  12. alyson, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:32 pm Said:

    YES TO #1, finally someone shares my views on ticklishness!


  13. sofia, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:38 pm Said:

    Whyyyy would you not want a dude to focus on solely pleasuring you? It feels great and it shows he’s selfish. WIN-WIN.


  14. Gabriela, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:39 pm Said:

    hahahaha.. I always laugh at your Blind leading the Blind… thank God I’m ticklish and #10 thumbsup!!


  15. Matthew, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:48 pm Said:

    #10! Thank you so fucking much, Alexi! Why ladies, why?! If I’m willing then let me. If you really are that fucking unfresh and all, I will notice fairly quickly and finesse my way back up to make out with you some more.


  16. cw, on December 9th, 2009 at 1:52 pm Said:

    gahhhhd.

    GET OUT OF MY BRAIN ALEXI!!


  17. Ellen Collis, on December 9th, 2009 at 2:12 pm Said:

    #2 is so good, never thought to do that! People are such music snobs, I can see how this works on a guy. A girl can be a total psycho, but if she likes “good” music (read: anything that’s NOT mainstream), she gets automatic cool points.

    http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/


  18. Georgia, on December 9th, 2009 at 3:38 pm Said:

    Insightful and hilarious as always! Keep em coming.


  19. Steph, on December 9th, 2009 at 4:24 pm Said:

    Totally agree, people are aren’t ticklish so can’t be trusted!

    x

    PS – Your blog has totally inspired me to ask out this hot guy i’ve had my eyes on, go ME!


  20. Lauren, on December 9th, 2009 at 5:07 pm Said:

    your blog makes me smile. xo


  21. Marina, on December 9th, 2009 at 6:21 pm Said:

    I’ve heard that if you are ticklish, you’re afraid of being touched.


  22. alex, on December 9th, 2009 at 6:39 pm Said:

    10 made me laugh for the longest time.


  23. amy, on December 9th, 2009 at 10:08 pm Said:

    FINE. I’M A LITTLE SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY VAGINA, OKAY?


  24. pony, on December 9th, 2009 at 10:28 pm Said:

    wtf it just turned cold in NY and there is no such thing as private in NYC if you have to take public transit….shall i:
    1. when other options are no-go, wipe my runny little nose on my sleeve
    2. make people on the train think i’m contagious by sniffling constantly
    3. let snot just run down my pretty little face like a 3 yr old or
    4. blow my nose in public to spare fellow transit passengers 1-3.


  25. pony, on December 9th, 2009 at 10:38 pm Said:

    PS 100% agree with #1…My xBF was not ticklish and epic betrayal and lies followed this discovery, biggest mistake of my life thus far.


  26. jess, on December 9th, 2009 at 11:07 pm Said:

    okay so where do you get all of these random PHOTOS for your blogs? LOL…


  27. geniuz, on December 9th, 2009 at 11:48 pm Said:

    Jess, this particular image is a photo of Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama inside one of her installations from the 60s called Infinity Mirror Room. Look her shit up, she’s brilliant.


  28. jessica druck, on December 10th, 2009 at 12:10 am Said:

    can I just say…blowing your nose period while in public is just disgusting. Blowing it at dinner with friends…blowing it within two feet of your boyfriend/girlfriend…go to the damn bathroom you putz.


  29. ryan manning, on December 10th, 2009 at 5:13 am Said:

    during the first (and, so far, only) “official” date i’ve ever been on, my date was text messaging with someone while we were at a (loud) restaurant eating dinner. actually, she was making plans for what to do next.

    incidentally, i wrote a poem about that date, which (if anyone cares) can be found here:

    http://scashawn.blogspot.com/


  30. TheTomCat, on December 10th, 2009 at 10:56 am Said:

    haha last one for the win. If a guy plans on going down he knows what he is getting himself into. So just relax and know what’s getting into you. ;)


  31. Nikki, on December 10th, 2009 at 1:37 pm Said:

    Hahahahahah.
    #2. I do that shit ALL the fucking time.


  32. d, on December 10th, 2009 at 4:53 pm Said:

    If you are so insecure you can’t blow your nose in public, then you have a big problem.


  33. boycrazy, on December 10th, 2009 at 6:22 pm Said:

    i have LOT’S of big problems.


  34. , on December 10th, 2009 at 8:03 pm Said:

    haha to #9. i used to call my mom by her first name all the time until i was 7. “DORISSS!!!!!” hahahaa


  35. Joanna, on December 11th, 2009 at 3:15 am Said:

    Also! Don’t talk about how you didn’t bring your boyfriend along because it’s BFF Day and then spend the whole time on your mobile texting him!


  36. SCV, on December 12th, 2009 at 10:04 pm Said:

    5. true
    7. I’m just bold like that and i don’t care who saw me! I’m sick mothafucka
    8. true
    10. WHO DENIES A WILLING TONGUE???


  37. Steeevyo, on December 13th, 2009 at 6:38 am Said:

    hey. i always want to go down on girls. but 80% refuse. it sends a signal of self conciousness to the guy.
    chill out ladies.
    we’ve already seen all types of labias and haircuts that you can imagine. we usually like your eyes ass and tits. we couldnt care less what you vag looks like. i am sure zoey deschanel has an ugly one. i’d still eat her for hours.
    so please: we know you like it. just relax and tell us what you like.


  38. Zoe, on December 14th, 2009 at 12:02 pm Said:

    You so silly.
    nice Modern art reference to “boy crazy art chicks” Yayoi Kusama is clinically boy-crazy.

    @7 – I can top it! I pick my nose in public with friends and I don’t give a F. so there. :P


  39. Lorri, on December 19th, 2009 at 2:29 pm Said:

    #4. seriously! its annoying!! get over your iphone!!


  40. filly, on October 16th, 2010 at 12:13 am Said:

    #2

    think i just fell in love with you/your blog.


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