BLOG » we met on facebook (part 2):


(continued) the days passed. we spoke and texted less and less. one night while he was writing on my wall- my facebook wall, not my vaginal walls- his friend joined in on the wall postings. the comments were too harsh for me. they weren’t funny and i was feeling sensitive. i was pms’ing and over it. did i have a crush on someone in la? maybe. ‘fb dude’ called me and i told him i was annoyed. that i didn’t wanna talk. i wasn’t in the mood. who was this guy? ugh, i didn’t even know him. and now he and his friend were teaming up on me on facebook? i didn’t feel safe. he was suddenly an enemy, not an ally. looking back, i was feeling particularly sensitive that night. but that was that, i kinda forgot about the whole thing, and never called him back.

months after our last phone call, ‘fb dude’ texted me saying he’d be in la in a couple weeks for 2 days. he asked me to pick a day to go out on a coffee date. i picked the first of the two days.. just in case he was gorgeous. i continued on with my life. i remembered him telling me that he LOVED hair on a girls privates during one of our late night calls, so i got waxed, knowing i would be grown out by the time he came to town. he wasn’t priority number one, but he was in the back of my mind: ‘oh, yay! if nothing’s going on, at least i have a date early next month.’

i was dating and focused on work. i went to a laker game, dinner parties, was spending time with my girlfriends. one of them told me about some faceless male blogger- who’s blog reminded her of mine. i checked it out. but there were so many pics of some hipster ‘it girl’ dj, i decided against reading it. i was probably just annoyed that the obsessive photos weren’t of me. i can be such a narcissist fuck. so, i emailed him:

me: who are you? the male me? i wanna see a pic. i won’t tell a soul. xo, alexi

him: Just so you know I’m not that easy. One e-mail from a pretty girl is not enough to have me uploading pics.

me: ok. people keep telling me about your blog because they say it reminds them of mine. however, it’s not really that similar. especially since i don’t hide my identity. didn’t we already write on fb? or am i totally wrong? maybe you’re not even a boy. holy shit, the interweb is crazers. i’ll leave you alone now. best, alexi

him: It’s actually been really hard being anonymous because so many channels of promotion were not open to me. I will be honest, your blog was one of the reasons I started, dudes really don’t have anything like it, most of the men that blog about women are so fucking douchey, I just wanted to tell stories about new york and have fun with it.

me: well, thank you. i’m glad i inspired you. : )

me (3 days later): one more thing…. are you a goodlooking, tall (6 feet or over), single boy babe? (he didn’t respond.)


two weeks later, ‘fb dude’ arrived in la!

in the days that led up to his arrival- i had been inundated with work and was WAY more excited about watching bad tv/being cozy at home/spending more time with my family, friends, and myself– whenever i had any down time, than i was about meeting lackluster dudes and prowling. it wasn’t worth the energy.

(even though, let’s face it, my eyes are ALWAYS OPEN when it comes to cute boys; at the supermarket, cafes, while driving- to the point of borderline driving into walls or off a cliff, even maybe!)

I’d only had sex once in the last four months. and now, i needed it like medicine! in the daytime, i was fine. but when it got dark and cold out (and, lately,  it was getting darker earlier and more cold than usual) i felt in need of a cuddle/makeout/sexxxy time rendezvous. but i had no crush on anyone! no one on my radar. and i didn’t want it to be an empty experience. i wanted it to be fun and cozy. with someone who actually values me, and likes me as a person.

my best male friend would tell me to just ‘rub one out’ and go to sleep. he’s a charmer. he actually IS a charmer, but i prefer the term ‘touch myself’. anyways, not being sexxed in four months was leaving me feeling not cute/de-swagger-fied.

but, the day my ‘fb dude’ got to la, i had just started to feel better! that particular day was hectic and i was happy! i had castings, hit on some 19 and 23 year old boys, my best girlfriend and i went shopping/bro’d out like champions, and I’d even had a business meeting over hot chocolates and coffee at the chateau marmont! this way to fancy town! what more did i need?

now i was dreading the date. i was confused. how did this dude fit into my life? he didn’t! i didn’t want to be nervous and anxious about being judged by a dude who’s only ever seen pictures of me on the interweb; who i might not even like; sit with him judging whether my photos were a misrepresentation of me; i didn’t want to be a let down. fuck. i didn’t need more stress in my life! i’m just a person! a person! this was supposed to be fun! i had just gotten over a cold, i was sleepy faced. yikes. i hoped he didn’t think i was an ugly/fat/wrinkled/monster/with bad skin . i hated that i cared, because ultimately it didn’t matter what this guy thought of me. i think i’m great! (are you noticing i have a tendency to over-think, cuz i do. i know! you’re welcome. ahh!)

i was meeting ‘fb dude’ at 8:45 at m cafe and i was running a few minutes late. i showed up at 8:50. i entered from the back, walked into the ladies room to look at myself in the mirror, DUH! it’s THE THING to do, and fluffed my hair! i walked out of the ladies, down the corridor, and there he was… and he was fucking GORGEOUS. (to be continued)

41 Responses to “we met on facebook (part 2):”

  1. Oh I was so wishing finally to see what happened!!!


    how do you keep us all hanging like that!!!!

    (don’t worry doll face, we all love to hate you)

    <3 stay classy


  4. i hate it when i just get over a cold and i think i look old or sleepy. don’t think on it for a second alexi- youre goooorg. loving this story !

  5. what happens next!!!


  7. whats the guy version of you blog im curious


  9. i love this story, can’t wait for the next post.. x

    ps love the karl photo!


    update soon please 🙂

  12. they have sex.
    maybe not the first night. (a kiss)
    surely the second. (many and more)
    it ends how it started.

  13. he would be gorgeous:) and going in through the back? thats clever. update soon!

  14. You can’t leave it at that! So unfair…

  15. you and i would be bffs for real.
    i almost chopped my long long hair off ’cause i like yours so much.
    but damn, i’m too much of a pussy, and i just don’t have the cheekbones you know? and i have these super broad shoulders that are great, but i need some more hair to balance ’em out.
    ANYWAYZ, your boycrazy ways are v. familiar as they are much like my life, positive and negative. i feel ya.<3

  16. I can’t handle the suspense!!!!

  17. for those of us who’ve read the male version of imboycrazy, we already know what happens. SPOILER ALERT!!!

    They had a short-lived, long-distance relationship but ended up breaking up 🙁

  18. what is the male version of imboycrazy?

  19. What is the male version!!?

  20. there’s a spoiler? that’s soooo cool!

  21. needs the web address of the male version of imboycrazy! please!

  22. he was joking, there’s no spoiler. xo

  23. OH MY GOD. I’M DYING TO HEAR MORE!!! update asap pleaaaassseee 🙂

  24. male version of boycrazy =

  25. Damn you and your ‘to be continued’!!! 😀

  26. “…because ultimately it didn’t matter what this guy though of me.”

    Though of me? Get those interns to work!

  27. “de-swagger-fied”
    I love it.

    aahhhhh can’t wait to read what happens next!

  28. love it!
    damn cliffhangers.

  29. there has to be be continued..its what keeps us dying for more!

  30. oh to hell with ‘to be continued’! spill everything! pronto!

  31. I want to know what happens next! Grr. I will wait.

  32. Remember the words of the late great Walt Disney: “Always leave them wanting more”…Is that a common motif in your life?

  33. De-swagger-fied!! You have the most honest & humorous way to describe the single life – where is your TV show? I am feeling quite de-swagger-fied myself.

  34. where is parrtttt 3333

  35. boy version blog is the the GORGEOUS dude. same person!

  36. finally a blog for girls

  37. PART THREE PART THREE PART THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re torturing us!!!!

  38. This story is absolutely amazing. Just finished part 3 – I LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing style. You’re talented, funny, and amazing. Cannot wait to hear more!!! x0

  39. Give. Me. Ending. Now. please?

  40. I’ve never read a blog in my life, the girl I’m trying to see referenced you on FB (cuz being hit over the head with love outweighs all the ‘logic/list making/picture perfect alone’ criteria) so I stalker searched Google, and found this.

    I’m a guy, I don’t have time for this shit, yet I made an effort to see what my date was talking about. I’m not interested in the girl non-sense that makes you feel you have to post it on the web, but you hit a topic/life story that was REALLY FUCKING interesting. The de-swaggerfied effect from little to no sex, to looking at your dates hands and remembering your mom. It applies to all of us, we can semi relate to, male or female.

    Really your writing style and over thinking coins the whole experience. You’re a true female with all the insecurities and brains a man wants.
    If he’s as calm and collected as he seems, and you want his attention still, it’s time for you to play hardball. DONT GIVE HIM ANY! The second you give it up, he’s onto the next, and you’re another good blog entry. Make him wait, make him hurt, make him feel so insufficient he has to come back to finish this story of played players.
    I read the whole story and I’m interested to see the rest and I only read popular mechanics and the newspaper.
    Great job, thanks babe

  41. thank you miles. : )

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