BLOG » part 2- the blind leading the blind (part 30) special ‘happy new year’ edition:


10. for the BOYS who want to be MEN:

learn to be the ultimate man! listen, i know there’s a time and a place for everybody and everything. and it takes a while for dudes to grow the fuck up/man up/know who they are. so, when you do decide that you love a girl/want a girl in a major way/know you’ve met a girl that means something to you/she’s a special mission to be accomplished, who makes your heart beat faster and intrigues you… you need to cut the bullshit dude and step it the fuck up! because there are guys out there who are just as sexy as you, just as funny, with great style…. but they’ve got you beat! cuz they have game; imagination, money, a personality, likability, and follow through. men who are reliable, trustworthy, great in bed, handsome, successful, masters at what they do. men who are patient, warm, and kind; who make a woman feel like a woman!

dudes, you have to be aware that it’s a war zone out there! this is battle (same for girls, but I’m talking to the dudes right now!) great girls are hard to come by. a connection is hard to come by. getting the attention of the girl you have a crush on can be difficult when there are other dudes out there making you look super lame-o/bad/not as good/inferior/chump like. Marilyn Monroe said it simply in gentleman prefer blonds: ‘it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man, as a poor man.’ and I’m not just talking about rich in the financial sense. i mean, that’s rad too, duh! but what i mean is- rich in character, depth, who has the ability to sweep a woman off her feet!

dude’s, if you wanna win the girl; the best girls, the hottest girls who aren’t just hot- but who are successful in their own right, stylish, in fantastic physical shape, beautiful, interesting, quick witted, smart, charming, funny, confidant, great kissers, sexy, nasty in bed, your best friend, bad ass, creative, AND amazing arm candy that makes you proud, with an epic life of their own, and brings a lot to bring to the table: you have to up your mother fucking game and be the best! because, let me tell you, these girls have their pick! and if you wanna be in the race… you have to grow the fuck up! lose the loser/ego maniacal- attitude and bravado! i mean, you live in a dirty shit-hole and are a narcissist asshole! you don’t have a career or clean pants! you don’t hold the door and you’re mean! do you think Giselle would date you? or Cindy Crawford- then OR now? FUCK NO! not at all! probably not. and by probably, i mean ‘definitely no‘.

watch a James bond movie and don’t just start drinking martini’s. in fact STOP drinking altogether bone-head! and stop smoking pot too, while your at it! you can be tough (brave), strong (muscly), and watch porn (not too much though, please) and be a great man… but being a stealth, sexy, suave dude- with crazy amazing seduction skills, who loves to seduce women, make them cum, feel happy, and safe because he genuinely likes her and wants to do that…. is way cooler! and no dick pic’ing please. get some game!

I’m not saying ‘game’ in the sense that you should mind fuck a girl into making her feel sooooo confused and low that she’s a weak little bitch wrapped around your finger. no, asshole! you don’t have to ‘neg’ her to death with stupid games and back handed compliments. it’s OK to tell her she’s beautiful if you think she’s beautiful. women LIKE that. at least the healthy ones do, who can accept compliments and are in a good place mentally and emotionally. don’t pander to her, but don’t be a dick for the sole purpose of being a dick either! hold the door, open the car door, hold her hand, kiss her in public. you should be with her cuz you’re proud and happy to be with her. and if this is the case- show it, make her know it. women want to be made feel safe, loved, and protected- whether they know it or not. they are also smart and won’t put up with your bullshit either. sometimes a girl is fucking you, and thinking about how she would never marry you because you bring nothing to the table. to her, you are a guilty pleasure behind closed doors. you may think you played her, and are getting under her skin… but the truth is.. you’re not good enough for her. and she’ll find out soon. when she meets a man that reveals what a boy you were. with all your bullshit, you blew it. and you thought you were being so cool. grow the fuck up dude. and get a job while you’re at it; you skinny, boring, couch surfer. we see you! BTW, personalities are cool too. get one this year! 2010 is all about possibilities! you can do it! make the transition; from a chump to a champ!

so, if you like a girl- be direct and don’t play games (shit, that’s almost the ultimate game, because it’s so rare). make her proud to be on your arm, make her think…. correction: SHOW HER that other dudes are nothing compared to you (show this with your behavior, not just your words). be an example that makes other couples crumble and fall to the wayside. don’t be desperate, but be direct. you don’t need to ignore and push and pull and dick her around because you think that’s what she likes. if that’s the shit she likes, she’s probably a nut case and you should both be in therapy. you should both be in therapy in general. therapy is great! ps: along with all this shit i’m telling you- a real connection and meeting one other at exactly the right time in each others lives is crucial for a relationship to work! just thought i should throw that in.

if you’re cute and cool, she likes you. duh! and when you know she likes you, (trust your gut) lay it down! be a man! make power moves. pay for fucking dinner. get a hotel room, carry her over the threshold. be fucking direct. tell her you like her, call her, don’t just text like a coward. if you two ARE texting, respond to her text. you don’t have to wait an hour and play games. you can keep your cool, hold your cards close, keep some mystery, be strong, calm, cool, collected….and honestly open at the same time. walk around like you have the biggest dick in the world; as if you could club any dude who approached her to death with this huge d i c k of yours. even if you don’t (this is annoying though- cuz an attitude like that is confusing to girls when they eventually do get your pants off and it’s a tiny nubbin. but that’s not your fault, you were born like that. and you totally deserve to breathe and fuck girls and get off and exist on this earth too. you just better be great at oral sex/finger-blasting/sensual seduction foreplay-mid play-and after play!) it also helps if you dress well, are attractive, aren’t stupid, are funny, and have a great job that makes your insides smile and puts a wad of money in your bullet proof safe which is hidden deep inside your mansion on a hill.) don’t be too eager. be stable and cool. have your life and make room in it for her. if you sense you need to back off cuz she’s stressed, do it. it’s all a dance. there’s time. be cool- not passive aggressive, mean/cool-no! be a silent stallion ‘i have a life cool.’ like the sexy man rock you are. and at the same time, you must always know your worth. don’t put up with a girl who treats you like shit either, cuz that just makes you look lame too! but, I’m telling you. if you’re as cool as the stand up guy I’m describing, when you meet a girl who’s sane- she’ll treasure you and know how lucky she is. she might even offer to pay for YOUR coffee or macro burger at m cafe. good luck boys! i hope i see you on the other side. don’t blow it. being  a man is an art-form! i love you! xo

ps: my facebook won’t accept any more friend requests. so, if you’re waiting to be approved, or want to friend me: click HERE or the fanpage icon on the right! xo

84 Responses to “part 2- the blind leading the blind (part 30) special ‘happy new year’ edition:”

  1. If women really want the kind of man Alexi has describe then they are going to have to be patient. As a young budding male I’ve made plenty of mistakes that has led to some heart break mostly for me but I do not deny the heart ache and pain because that is when I truly grow and learn who I am. I do not want to be what women want, I want to be what I am and I want women to want me for that. And to reciprocate I want a woman who wants to be who they are and I want to want them for that. A lot of wants but it kind of make sense. Not every male fits into the lacy James Bond façade, me being one, though I do think I am pretty cool and am pretty much in love with me.
    If it’s all just a game then there are going to be cheaters. And in a game where my own well-being is at risk I would rather not play it especially when I’m surrounded by cheaters. I am going to be apart of the game though but rather than playing it I will be that rock that all the little kids kick around in the street never breaking cool and hard. And when the game is over and all the kids have gone home there I will remain steady and strong.
    I do agree with some of what Alexi has said but again women you are going to have to be patient. I am not what I am not. No man/woman can be the ultimate man/woman because we are all human and we are all flawed. I love woman’s flaws as much as I love their beauty.
    “Im looking for the right girl to play my side cuz deep down I know it’s gonna be a hell of a ride as I journey through this so called life and don’t need no body acting trife I need a girl make that a wife”
    Original Flavor

  2. “Peter,” so maybe you don’t smoke pot, or watch TV – but you sound like you do, and I am from Canada.

    Bottom line is, you talk to much and seem a little self involved, certainly arrogant, and ultimately negative and combative. This is what we as self-respecting females who expect a lot from our lives want. If you don’t like it — too fucking bad, we aren’t hurting anyone by having standards. So get off the bitch train and go live your fantastic little life — if you really are so fantastic and lead such a stupendous life.
    I don’t stereotype anyone, I know what I know from experience.
    That’s totally fine if you think you are so bullet-proof to insults, but why bother attacking Alexi or the rest of us.
    And here’s a Buddhist truth that you should take to “heart.” Everything comes to an end, everything changes. And when your “heart” hurts, it ain’t nothin’ but a chemical imbalance and overactive hormones. Mind over matter.

  3. Oh and Phillip and Austin win, they get it.

    As Jack Nicholson said in As Good As It Gets,
    –“You make me want to be a better man.”

    I want a dude who makes me shout that from the rooftops, that’s love.

  4. […] girl, I feel you,” like Alexi Wasser’s “The bling leading the blind” posts. The 2010 edition had me hmmm ing like a monk! These posts remind me kindly that it’s a jungle out there, but […]

  5. I agree with some of it. I am in college though getting a very high paid job is hard but I am in the process of getting a job. First, I have not met any guys who text an hour later or play stupid games. I think you know what you are talking about but you are wrong in that department. I give you kudos though cause most of it was right now. Just so you know, I have exactly what you are talking about. The girl is amazing and I do everything you have said. This is good advice for anyone who does not have this. It works. I just learned it on my own

  6. I agree with Phillip though. I learned everything I know through heartbreak and past relationships.

  7. People have flaws and my girlfriend has flaws and so do I but we are a strong couple but we get through it. I think thats what truly makes couples crumble because if you can get through the hard times you can get through anything.

  8. I agree with Peter too. Fuck yeah. I barely watch tv and smoking pot became VERY limited to me because of my girlfriend because I have better things on my mind. Ro you are wrong sorry to say and we would be screwed if every girl thought that way so don’t because no one is perfect

  9. i agree with everything she has said, but like others here, i feel it comes through experience and can’t really be pounded into anyone’s head. i would never expect this much respect or “knowledge” (for lack of a better word) regarding the opposite sex from, say, a 22-year-old guy…but i would most definitely be repulsed if someone twenty or even ten years older than he hadn’t learned those lessons. BUT, i also feel it goes both ways. there is absolutely no excuse or reason for a woman to be anything less than that which she expects from her man. i don’t subscribe to the rampant belief that women should be able to do whatevs they want without regard to the man’s feelings. men really DO have feelings, that much i have learned. xo

  10. god I love this blog. You could not have made this any easier for a guy to understand unless you drew stick people pictures..then again the men I meet proably would have needed them u

  11. Right on the money Alexi!!!
    Another great way to give a reality check for those who need and some revitalization for those that are almost there.
    and of course after all that we the brutes also have feelings

  12. o my god your so right. ive dealt with too many stupid boys who only think with their cocks and never treat me with any respectt.

    i dated this one guy who talked like he was king snake but he was just a little worm, if ya know what i mean.

  13. lol some boys are quite blind then Lexy. i love this, i love your punctuations, question marks whatever. and your perspective is good.

  14. Um, this is kind of the greatest blog post of all-time. I only wish this was in my life a few months ago. Siiiiigh. Live, learn and move on.

    Thanks again. Message received!!


  15. The above posts that declare that the man who posted them is NOT a douche/ass/jerk positively reeks of inconsistencies. You’re not a jerk and yet you spent vast amounts of time hurling personal insult after insult at a woman who merely stated her opinion? Really? I hope you treat your girlfriend better than that.

  16. As always, heterocentric, hegemonic, and terribly (if at all…) edited mumbo jumbo. And as always, the most entertaining and enjoyable of its kind.
    Thanks Alexi <3

  17. I fucking love you Alexi, thanks

  18. “sometimes a girl is fucking you, and thinking about how she would never marry you because you bring nothing to the table. to her, you are a guilty pleasure behind closed doors. you may think you played her, and are getting under her skin… but the truth is.. you’re not good enough for her. and she’ll find out soon. when she meets a man that reveals what a boy you were. with all your bullshit, you blew it. and you thought you were being so cool. grow the fuck up dude. and get a job while you’re at it; you skinny, boring, couch surfer. we see you! BTW, personalities are cool too. get one this year! 2010 is all about possibilities! you can do it! make the transition; from a chump to a champ!”

    this is my favorite part. spells out my life right now. had a toy & then was blown away by a man. boys – ya, sure, we won’t throw you out of bed, but, ugh – we won’t fall in love with you or anything. it’s all about the menz.

  19. this is the biggest pile of shit ever.

  20. You need to get over the whole guys paying for dinner thing. Maybe YOU should take the high road once in a while. Ever wonder if maybe he thinks you’re a bitch, because you’re never willing to step up the plate and show him you care about HIM? Do you think he has more money than you do because he’s a man? And you can’t just lay him and call it even either. How would you feel if if a dude was constantly making you pay for his meal and justifying it with the fact that you got to have sex with him. Wouldn’t be so cool now, would it?

    Narcissism is contagious.

  21. This is what I love/hate about the internet. Everyone has their opinions and views, but they fail to realize that no one is right and no one is wrong. Your individual experience as a human being can never be duplicated, that is the magic of being a self-contained piece of biology. No matter what, no one will ever see the world as you do. So, in effect, both Alexi and Peter and everyone else who read this blog/left a comment are correct, in THEIR OWN human experience.

    I think The Captain gets it :]

  22. i n s p i r e d

  23. love you girlfriend.

  24. Alexi is officially on crack.
    These comments are hilarious.
    Not everyone wants a rich hipster Alexi! But I get it. The moral of the story is JUST DO IT. Do like Nike. Oh, and don’t mess with crazy bitches. =)

  25. Goddamn, that was good!!!

  26. and all that still doesn’t matter.

  27. this is a great blog, your a very talented writer and I think you should pursue it as a career. That was all sarcasm, and BTW thats me running in the middle, thanks for giving my friend photo cred, you piece of trash.

  28. Haha. Funny. Pay for dinner? What entitles women to my money? I’ll buy a couple of drinks, then get laid. That’s what it takes. And by the way, the bigger asshole I am, the more I get laid. The only competition I have is with guys who are bigger assholes than me (there aren’t many, and even less the more guys who take your advice). You’re sweet, young and idealistic. Good luck with that. I’m going to go get laid now.

  29. “Jason X”

    Yeah. I’m sure you will be able to get laid after buying a woman a few drinks when you’re 40…Psych, asshole. Guess what? You have to grow up someday.

  30. MS:

    I love how women define being “grown up” as being in a committed relationship with one of them. A guy who opens doors for women, pays for everything, quits drinking and smoking because she told you to, does not make a man “grown up”. It makes him a pussy. Yes, there are plenty of “Nice” guys for you to enslave. They are not my competition. I will continue to get laid and be happily not committed.

    (Go ahead, now make the small dick joke because that’s what women do when they have no argument)

  31. Alexi should go into marketing, or advertising. The image of the perfect man she has conjured in her acrimonious rant is simply a product she is attempting to sell. To herself. She needs to get real. Also, she has made it glaringly apparent that there have been losers in her past. Doesn’t she know that I guy doesn’t have to be rich and suave to be desireable? Give me intelligence and authenticity over “game” or a house in the hills any day.

  32. Hmm sensitive much? The post is just another witty attempt at getting guys like Jason X to understand that when they are old as fuck they will regret not putting in the effort thinking about stuff like -( Sure, we all get that. You have issues and you don’t wanna get close to someone NOW and that’s fine. Who doesn’t enjoy banging their asses off indiscriminantly at one point or another (ok, maybe not everyone, but I will admit that I have if only to show that I am objective about this). I’m certain that Alexi doesn’t really care WHAT you (Jason and Peter for example)do, at the end of the day our lives are our own. She is the first to admit that she has ‘issues’ (and that contrary to what many of you seem to have misconstrued, she LOVES MEN). Ultimately, this is just Alexi channeling her delicious sense of humour and insight (AND RESILIENCE!!!) into a post that is not meant to be taken as any kind of serious life advice (unless you are open to it, in which case I say there are some good points here). Take what you want and leave the rest, if you’re gonna take it so serious. Or take none if you don’t like it. Leave the rest of us to LOL and nod at what is just more gold from the I’m Boy Crazy corner. I mean, the blog title says it all. It’s not the Dr Phil show.
    *It’s a pep talk in the form of a slap in the face in the form of a blog.* Keep it comin Alexi xxx

  33. […] I’m Boy Crazy Filed under PIP ← One more! […]

  34. dear god, that was perfect.

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