BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 31):

1. tender sex is WAY better than hard/fast/exercise sex.

2. have a little/keep a little mystery. It’s worth it. hold your cards close and you may reap amazing benefits. aka: play it cool ASSHOLE!

3. girls, if you’re not already, START masturbating/touching your privates asap/imdiento! It’s THE thing to do! Don’t do it in class or at work or anything, but at home it’s as good as having a drink. It’s also cool to do in front of guys you’re having a tawdry make-out with. I wouldn’t do it in a car, but if you’re in a hotel room, his place, or yours- do it, and do it real!  if he can’t handle it, he’s gay. if he can, then you’re doing him a favor and teaching him some valuable stuff he should TOTALLY know about you!

4. don’t throw anything away in public with your address on it. I always think that if i do, a serial killer will find it at random and decide I’m the next person he’ll murder. Be careful. Always be two steps ahead.

5. if you’re gonna cheat, don’t fuck another person. Kissing is one thing- but fucking is jeopardizing someone elses health. Not cool.

6. girls, it’s very important that you bathe and look at your vaginal folds before going on a hottt, potential sexxxing date. The last thing you need is for some dude to get a piece of toilet paper stuck in his teeth because you’re a lazy groomer. or worse:  some sort of bacterial discharge/creamy crud resembling hummus that’s all stuck in the folds of your lady bits! Yuck! No thank you! you need that like you need a punch in the head!

7. suck his dick like you’re starving, it works.

8. don’t even try to take on the post office. They’ll win every time!

9. dudes, stop using shoelaces as belts! it’s not OK. people can see you, and it’s not sexy!

10. don’t waste time obsessing over someone who gives you nothing in return. If this is what you’re experiencing, look at yourself. you’re tapping into deep routed issues/patterns of behavior that run deep in you. enough is enough! Don’t waste any more of your time. Fix yourself so you don’t keep letting the wrong people affect you in the worst way!

PS: A MESSAGE FROM MY FRIEND BINKI SHAPIRO-

hello friends and family…
my sister leaves for haiti at 4am tomorrow as a volunteer and will be there for 2-3 weeks helping with whatever is needed.
she has already bought many much needed supplies, and is going for round two today!
donations are seriously needed for water purifiers, electrolytes, first aid kits, food and formula, etc, for the many orphans that are weak and dying due to starvation.
you can DIRECTLY HELP by sending any amount you can to her paypal account at [email protected]

thank you so much and please keep her in your thoughts. xx binki

(if you don’t mind, please forward this email to all of your friends!)


53 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 31):”

  1. on the last one, thanks. sometimes i’m just too caught up in the frenzy of trying to fit into every one else’s mold, i forget about myself.

    and then getting over this break up felt like the harshest thing since it WASN’T giving me anything and the only alternatives were temporary fixes.

    i love you alexi! you’re a brilliant lady.


  2. You are swiftly approaching the elusive territory of the casually sublime. This blog should be a glossy magazine with scratch-n-sniff covers. I would gladly pay €35 per copy!


  3. Steven Augustine’s obsession with you is pretty clear. Better to address his feelings before he does something crazy.


  4. #6 & #10 for the win!


  5. These posts are the best! I hope men & women are taking note, especially singles because it’s crazy out there.


  6. #7 for the silver. i promis to keep it clean and eat lots of fruit.


  7. I don’t know you. This is the first blog entry of yours I’ve read. I might come back for more, so thank you!


  8. thank you for making my life better twice at the planned parenthood at this very moment. First i see yr divine peppermint patty commercial on foodnet her. I wanted to scream ‘im boy crazy dot com! I read herrr blog’ . Then my favorite, blind leading the blind. Oh. They called my name. I love you. Kiss.


  9. seriously amazing stuff. forwarding to my girl asap


  10. #3 -so true. Not enough women are in touch with themselves in a literal sense. Also, do it for you -him being there’s a bonus, sure, but ladies: you first. Always.

    Re. #6 -men need to take the same advice on hygiene. #7 isn’t going to happen without it.

    My only addition: #11: ask for what you want. Neither men nor women are mind-readers. Ask. It implies confidence. And confidence is very sexy. Show, share, talk, do & love. Mwah.


  11. i have been reading your blog for like 5 months now … its great.
    #4 is hilarious- and true. you never know.


  12. i like number 7 how do girls expect a guy to go down when they dont want to go down shit act like they dont do it just suck the dick already fuck hahah


  13. Isaac Coin (remark #3): knock it off with your callow projecting, son. I’m happily married to someone even cooler and more beautiful than our wondrous host (hard as that is to imagine)… our sex is bed-melting and our chit-chat is splendid. But I pay my respects when respect is deserved because it is so rarely deserved. Alexi is doing good, creative work for the homo sapients and we’d all be better off if people could say NICE SHYT to/about other people without needing a slime-sock full of ulterior motives first. Have you been corrected enough here, Ike…? Hope so! Try to be a better mammal,

    SA


  14. Out of all the words of wisdom in this post, #7 is the most enlightening. I’m still on the post-holiday “diet” so it shouldn’t be so hard to act like I’m starving. Thanks for the tip.

    http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/


  15. This one was so so so good! Much needed xo love you alexi & I’m posting Binki’s message on madisonrage.com xoxo love youuu!


  16. Number seven is my favourite. Love it.


  17. Steven Augustine is a liar. He dated my sister three years ago, stole $3200 from her checking account, and emotionally abused her to the point of clinical depression and tinnitus. He is using this “i am boy crazy” site to lure new victims into his clutches. Steven has his sights set on you Alexi! Be careful, his “marriage” is imaginary, don’t let his lies blind you. He is a predator.


  18. By far the best–my dear.
    x


  19. scary.


  20. Your always so damn right, you always know what to say. I love you.


  21. check mate
    alexi
    you win


  22. Re: #7 — I was always under the impression that an enthusiastic cock sucker was all a guy wanted in the BJ department, but I recently learned via a cute Irish guy at The Village Idiot that what gets them off even more than that is EYE CONTACT.

    Tough to do when you’re 69ing, but next time, kneel on your knees in front of them and look up at them with big eyes as you’re slurping like your life depended on it.


  23. ahah, I love this, but I also love the Isaac-Steven debate in the comments. woop, go boycrazy!


  24. Isaac: uh… yeah.


  25. (PS: to all future victims: I live in Berlin, so, if I *do* manage to lure you here, you’ll need to pay for the ticket yourselves. My wife is rather firm on that point.)


  26. hilarious! xo


  27. What is going on with this Steven vs Isaac ?! xo


  28. i don’t know, but there’s only ONE way to find out! I’M GOING TO BERLIN RIGHT NOW! wish me luck! xoxo


  29. “What is going on with this Steven vs Isaac ?! xo”

    Isaac is my out-of-control sock puppet. Sorry!

    (Alexi: are you cool with staying in a hostel while you’re here…? )


  30. hmmm, sorry, no. i’m all about fancy hotels. i’m a woman, not a girl.


  31. Oh well! No tinnitus for YOU then


  32. i always lose in the end, don’t i?!


  33. Touche to 7, 8, and 10.

    Especially #7.

    Video demonstration please.


  34. Amen to everything


  35. Ok Steven, you sleep well in “Germany” (aka Santa Clarita, California).

    Alexi- I’m sorry you had to see this happen between Steven and me (old enemies, you know?). I love your blog.


  36. no worries! i love you both! all i ask is that you keep reading and tell everyone you know about my b l o g! pow, boom, bop! xo


  37. Love IT. Love YOU.


  38. You should do a dieting Blind Leading the Blind


  39. Best one yet.
    Love em all


  40. #5 how about NOT Cheating at all


  41. YEAH! how about THAT!


  42. How much #3 is too much? I mean really, this is getting out of control!


  43. Isaac: just curious… your “sister” isn’t you wearing a wig and talking with a high-pitched voice in the mirror, is she…?


  44. fuck yeah tender sex


  45. correctomundo xoxo


  46. agreed hummus vag is not ok. But dudes have to also pick the crust of out their pubes.


  47. YOU ARE HILARIOUS.


  48. [...] i actually find this girl kinda pumping. [...]


  49. love this fuckin blog.
    agree with u on 3,4 (especially this one, there are crazies out the. careful), & 5
    #6- going to the restroom on a date isn’t anything out of the ordinary, so getting TP in the vadge with cheat ass TP may occur even if bathing took place prior.but as for humus substance I can’t speak on that not familiar and don’t want to be.. but dude should look at what he’s placing his lips on before submission..the fool is lucky that all he got was a piece of TP in his mouth. (STD all up in yo mouth). also guys shouldnt be so eager to go down if all they gonna do is talk ish because they didn’t get any in return.. that’s yo bad dumb dumb.


  50. don’t go to haiti. donate money to real, long-lasting organizations, not some girl’s paypal.

    http://aidwatchers.com/2010/01/nobody-wants-your-old-shoes-how-not-to-help-in-haiti/


  51. #7 & #10, yes yes and yes!

    P.S. Nice Terry Richardson photo of Lil Wayne being all sexy.


  52. ‘girls, if you’re not already, START masturbating/touching your privates asap/imdiento! It’s THE thing to do!’ LMFAO!
    i just discovered your blog today, and will now be on it
    daily. :D

    la da da da.


  53. It s no use carrying an umbrella if your shoes are leaking.


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