BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 31):
1. tender sex is WAY better than hard/fast/exercise sex.
2. have a little/keep a little mystery. It’s worth it. hold your cards close and you may reap amazing benefits. aka: play it cool ASSHOLE!
3. girls, if you’re not already, START masturbating/touching your privates asap/imdiento! It’s THE thing to do! Don’t do it in class or at work or anything, but at home it’s as good as having a drink. It’s also cool to do in front of guys you’re having a tawdry make-out with. I wouldn’t do it in a car, but if you’re in a hotel room, his place, or yours– do it, and do it real! if he can’t handle it, he’s gay. if he can, then you’re doing him a favor and teaching him some valuable stuff he should TOTALLY know about you!
4. don’t throw anything away in public with your address on it. I always think that if i do, a serial killer will find it at random and decide I’m the next person he’ll murder. Be careful. Always be two steps ahead.
5. if you’re gonna cheat, don’t fuck another person. Kissing is one thing- but fucking is jeopardizing someone elses health. Not cool.
6. girls, it’s very important that you bathe and look at your vaginal folds before going on a hottt, potential sexxxing date. The last thing you need is for some dude to get a piece of toilet paper stuck in his teeth because you’re a lazy groomer. or worse: some sort of bacterial discharge/creamy crud resembling hummus that’s all stuck in the folds of your lady bits! Yuck! No thank you! you need that like you need a punch in the head!
7. suck his dick like you’re starving, it works.
8. don’t even try to take on the post office. They’ll win every time!
9. dudes, stop using shoelaces as belts! it’s not OK. people can see you, and it’s not sexy!
10. don’t waste time obsessing over someone who gives you nothing in return. If this is what you’re experiencing, look at yourself. you’re tapping into deep routed issues/patterns of behavior that run deep in you. enough is enough! Don’t waste any more of your time. Fix yourself so you don’t keep letting the wrong people affect you in the worst way!
PS: A MESSAGE FROM MY FRIEND BINKI SHAPIRO-
hello friends and family…
my sister leaves for haiti at 4am tomorrow as a volunteer and will be there for 2-3 weeks helping with whatever is needed.
she has already bought many much needed supplies, and is going for round two today!
donations are seriously needed for water purifiers, electrolytes, first aid kits, food and formula, etc, for the many orphans that are weak and dying due to starvation.
you can DIRECTLY HELP by sending any amount you can to her paypal account at firstname.lastname@example.org
thank you so much and please keep her in your thoughts. xx binki
(if you don’t mind, please forward this email to all of your friends!)