Since it’s happened to me (and since I too was for my whole life, immensely skeptical that I’d find anyone among this vast ocean of assholes we have to deal with), I whole-heartedly know that it is absolutely possible to find a good guy. I met him my freshman year of college, and now it’s gonna be almost a year that we’ve happily been together. I might sound retardedly naive, but I really believe that everyone’s going to find their good guy–it’s just crucial that you stop obsessing over finding him…it really will hit you when you least expect it. And please for the love of god, lower your expectations… who the fuck recites Shakespeare quotations in the park?
now a days its hard to find that “good” guy, I’ve seen that everywhere a woman is disrespected and treated like dirt. You can’t keep on looking for someone because the someone that you’ve been looking for will come to you, and when they moment happens, you’ll both know it. I’ve been played and taken advantage of me being “too nice”, and its not cool. :[
What I’m saying is that when you both find each other, you’ll both know it.
I mean, I guess you can fall in love in college, you just have to avoid the beer can crushing, chest-bumping bros and annoying guys with a guitar that will sit alone anywhere public and play like life is some retarded romcom. I met some of the best girls I knew in college at the library or in study groups. It’s good to weed out the illiterates and meet people when you are not drunk and horny. Stay away from nightclub-promoters (they’ll cheat on you with party girls), guys chasing party girls (they’ll be coked out and possessive), spoiled kids (whine about first-world problems), any anyone that brags about how much they can drink or how much pot they smoke. Avoid any guy in a women’s studies class, he might be be genuine, but he’ll be snoozeville. Also, don’t be that girl. No self-respecting guy wants to date an out-of-control party girl. Sleep with, maybe, but not date. Even then, the guys chasing you will be the described above. Do drop acid and go to a big park or out in the open once, don’t make a habit out of it. Don’t blow-off a guy cause he’s broke, we are the ones that graduate with no credit card debt. Learn what an existential crisis looks like, and run like hell when you see one. Avoid people who talk too much about HS, they are about to have said crisis. Just do the right thing, and look for someone that does too. Don’t be afraid to be harsh, two people that share good intentions is the foundation of any relationship that’s not based on petty emotional games. Finally, avoid any guy that thinks Tucker Max is cool, has a catcher-in-the-rye thing or talks up Bukowski. Same thing with Popper, Sartre, Neitzsche or Hagel–I don’t think it’s possible to really understand those straight out of high-school. Last thing, don’t make a habit of going to “classy” bars or anywhere luxurious. You’ll unwittingly stand out and then get relentlessly hit on by some guy in his late 20s that will pretend to be sophisticated but is just obsessed with all the young girls he never had sex with. You’ll have oh-so-much time to do that scene in the future and be bored to tears with it.
Dear Natalie,
If you are anywhere in the Northeast that’s Amtrak accessible, I will totally take you on a picnic. I am dead serious. I won’t read you Shakespeare because that’s somebody else’s thing, and I’m sure hearing an amateur recite it would be amusing for like 10 seconds. But we can read something and then talk about it. Or we can just drink champagne and bullshit and enjoy the sunshine.
To first video guy:
“Same thing with Popper, Sartre, Neitzsche or Hagel–I don’t think it’s possible to really understand those straight out of high-school”
I’m guessing this applies to women too? I’m fresh out of high-school and a girl who’s read waaay too much Sartre and Camus. GET READY COLLEGE BOYS(I GUESS).
I LOVE THIS. Sorry but you are right and it’s fucked, i graduate next week and didn’t find a single ‘good guy’. AND now i’m pissed because i thought first video guy was my secret true love.
FVG, I like what you’re saying; romance is nice, but be real about it (drop the pretense, guys!)
Wish more guys were cute and down to earth like that.
Hope FVG and the girls find what they’re looking for (perhaps with each other?)
FVG, i love how you basically wrote a blog post in the comments section of somebody else’s blog, and now people are commenting on your comment-post and not the real one. it’s too meta for me to handle
You need to have an open mind and be willing to get to know someone before judging them for sure. I’m 18 and my boyfriend just turned 16 and alot of people think that its kind of weird but he is the most mature person I know and he is a really great guy. Loyal to me and 100% in love with me, will do anything for me, and makes me feel like the most amazing girl o the planet (&&& DID I MENTIONS SUPER HOT!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!) yaa pretty much.
The thing is, i had the exact image of what I wanted in guy from the way he looked, to the shape of his nose, to the words he used, to the way he dresses and I wasn’t going to settle for anyone who didn’t have every single one of those qualities and I can guarantee that with a little bit of patience (or alot) and high standards for yourself, you will find the perfect guy who isn’t a dbag.
these girls are just as lovely in this video as they in person,let me assure you men. fvg,if you’ve got a friend like your kind self for my girl kathleen too, it’d be appreciated as well they are both foxes and catches.
Good guys do exist… we call them homosexuals. Unless you’re a gay guy, then they are all just lying whores like all other men. The trick for a girl is to find a guy who isn’t interested in your cupcake. They are the ones that will treat you the best.
re. theodore- so, straight girls should date gay dudes? or straight dudes who aren’t after pussy? ie- gay dudes in denial/sexually confused? i’ll do it! xo
from a “good guy” perspective, I am curious if there is such a thing as being “too sweet”? I’ve been told I just keep choosing the wrong girls. I am choosing girls that aren’t mature enough to recognize that good guys do exist; girls that don’t recognize that a young woman doesn’t have to settle for a guy that treats her anything less than the absolute best.
Sometimes I’m afraid that there’s a correlation between ‘not being girl-crazy but simply romantic’, and being a bit too introvert to tell pretty smart girls that they have feelings for them.
It’s not that they are really shy, they’ll probably be the guys that talk with you about ‘learned subjects’.
If you should notice such behavior, try taking the first step yourself. If not, I suppose you will eventually find the right match but I’ll think it’ll take a lot longer.
I met my husband in college…you can find a great guy. My advice that I give my friends still searching? Don’t date guys you meet at frat parties, house parties, and bars. Date friends and friends of friends!
It’ll happen I swear. I dated total jerks until I found the one…and all it takes is one.
re: boycrazy Exactly. The trick is to work out a deal where you cheat on each other with other men and do the relationship thing together. Hot meaningless sex and a good guy to come home to… what more could you ask for?
I’m not gonna leave a page long comment like first video guy (even though everybody seems to love him) But I would LOVE to take either of you two out! I’m a decent guy! I have morals! I don’t just want sex! I don’t drink or smoke! Plus Boycrazy said I’m a babe on her radio show! Ask her! Whoa I’m way to excited. I’m gonna get bold right now.. (909) 554-???? Email me if you want the rest! …I like long walks on the beach..
Drink, fuck and fight your way through college – oh and get some good grades too while you’re at it – it will prepare you for life in the big bad world. If you think you are needy now, wait until you are 30 and desperate for babies, you will still be meeting immature douchebags!
btw Kathleen there’s a modelling contract waiting for you in London if you ever make it over here…
Honestly, I guarantee it’s you picking the douchebags. What you say you want and what you’re taking an interest in are two different things. Oh and if you find a dude going around quoting you poetry and talking about some philosophy? Yeah, he’s a douchebag with a better strategy. Guys in college want to fuck, not settle down; they only will if they have to, when you have the power (when you are at least a bit out of their league and they can’t do nearly as good when straying).
Eventually, you’ll find that one, the one that worships you and treats you how you’ve always wanted to be treated… and then you’ll dump him because he’s clingy and boring.
pretty sure any dude from this blog would be better then the douches your dating now, because this blog is about love and relationship shit etc. and the dudes wouldn’t be on here if they didn’t care what so ever about love shiz, bros and beer pong are the worst and colleges are completely filled with them but somehow girls flock to them and get heart broken but still go back, good guys never win.
These girls are so cute! Sadly, most guys in college just want to get laid. But it IS possible to find love. It just might not happen for a couple years. Well, for me, it took 3 1/2. And then I graduated and moved to NYC and that was the end of that!
from a guy who called into my radio show about the brunette in this video:
yoo alexi this is spencer I just called into the show tonight talking about the twins who made the make it yours monday video. I would be stoked if you could forward my me facebook or something to natalie (thats the brunette i watched the video again!)… http://www.facebook.com/sultsult
I’m not sure where they are at, but I would totally take her out because I’m going on tour this summer and am gona be in most parts of the country…
oh and I definitely don’t need to be drunk to bring my A game, but I couldn’t think of anything on the spot on the phone
anyways thanks for your help….
yea thats me, you should hit me back!
I forgot to saw, I would totally want to make a mixtape too (not digital, i mean a real casette) even though i know thats corny, sometimes its the best way to express somehting :p
ss
I don’t know… I spent my entire life looking for one of those non-douchebags, and I did! I was so in love, and I was like – So that’s what people are talking about, when you find the one! He’s perfect! He’s so romantic! We’re so great together! But sometimes, my friends, there exists a SUPER ULTRA breed of douchebag, ie. The ones that lull you into a fake sense of security by specifically telling you they are not one of those typical assholes, but specifically not telling you about a) Their secret sex addiction b) secret online dating addiction c) their tendency to lie pathologically.
So now I’m with a different non-douchebag kind of guy, but because my first boyfriend was so sneaky I will kind of always believe all men are crapfaces, but some of them are better at hiding it than others.
OK
So about 8 months ago I felt the same way! I was dating a douche bag but I was moving to another country so I just let it fizzle out and I thought that there was no such thing as real romantic love, I’ve been used and had my heart trampled on many times!!!
Then at my most jaded point I met my current boyfriend. He is the man of my dreams.. he is everything I described as the perfect boyfriend and we are really happy. We have moved in together and moved to a new country together!
I just graduated university and I didn’t meet him at school, I met him through friends.
My advice try new things, date guys you wouldn’t normally date. A lot of married people say their husbands are not their type! Go to places you wouldn’t go (not scary places)give people chances BUT never date because you are bored and don’t see it going somewhere.
Be open with the person you are dating and about what you want!
Good luck!
these “smart” babes are coked up in this vid. They should be glad guys are interested at all. Lots of women out there are lonely and never get asked out or paid attention to. These girls wouldnt know a substance if it sat on them. They want Josh Hartnett.
the good guys have to make something of themselves to build up confidence. after college its a go. the best looking guys/guys that got to much pussy in high school are usually assholes.
wow this whole spencer guy trying to track down natalie is insanely romantic and im am 100% jealous. I feel exactly like natalie. specner, where’s the love?
haha im totally serious too.
I don’t even know where to start. Watching this video was like watching myself as a college freshman. So creepy. And I’ve never commented before but I just HAD to when I watched this.
I WAS THERE! And MY GOSH I forgot how fun it was to be in your shoes! I graduated uni last year. In my time there, I had a few serious relationships. The guys were great in many ways, but YOUNG too, and we both made a lot of mistakes and I would find myself single all over again. Despite the horrible break ups I went through, I wouldn’t change my experiences for anything. I learned a lot by going into everything with an open mind and an open heart. Though none of them were Mr. Right (far from it) I still had fun. BUT, the MOST fun I had, and the semesters that I did best, was when I was single. Take advantage of the campus full of wanton boys of varying degrees of hotness AND intelligence!
And since college, I have met that guy that I’ve been wanting to meet my whole life, and we’re moving to NYC together in January to start OUR life! So don’t loose hope!!
THINGS TO REMEMBER: Sex is not the enemy. be safe. DON’T FORGET WHY YOU ARE IN COLLEGE (to learn!!). Embrace your beauty- you are beautiful. And try to channel Stevie Nicks as much as possible.
And I don’t want to seem shameless, but the website I’ve attached is the blog I wrote while dating in college. I was inspired by Alexi to write through it, so check it out! You might find something that speaks to you too!
Since it’s happened to me (and since I too was for my whole life, immensely skeptical that I’d find anyone among this vast ocean of assholes we have to deal with), I whole-heartedly know that it is absolutely possible to find a good guy. I met him my freshman year of college, and now it’s gonna be almost a year that we’ve happily been together. I might sound retardedly naive, but I really believe that everyone’s going to find their good guy–it’s just crucial that you stop obsessing over finding him…it really will hit you when you least expect it. And please for the love of god, lower your expectations… who the fuck recites Shakespeare quotations in the park?
Good luck!
xx
i am a very good guy but i leave in greece with my goats. do you want my email ?
ATTN: Smart Babes.
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate
yeah! email exchanges! or facebook profile exchanges! this is better than match.com!
Also, lala,
The only dudes that actually quote Shakespearean Sonnets in a park are just dudes tryin’ to get their mitts in your business and bail.
now a days its hard to find that “good” guy, I’ve seen that everywhere a woman is disrespected and treated like dirt. You can’t keep on looking for someone because the someone that you’ve been looking for will come to you, and when they moment happens, you’ll both know it. I’ve been played and taken advantage of me being “too nice”, and its not cool. :[
What I’m saying is that when you both find each other, you’ll both know it.
Good luck
I mean, I guess you can fall in love in college, you just have to avoid the beer can crushing, chest-bumping bros and annoying guys with a guitar that will sit alone anywhere public and play like life is some retarded romcom. I met some of the best girls I knew in college at the library or in study groups. It’s good to weed out the illiterates and meet people when you are not drunk and horny. Stay away from nightclub-promoters (they’ll cheat on you with party girls), guys chasing party girls (they’ll be coked out and possessive), spoiled kids (whine about first-world problems), any anyone that brags about how much they can drink or how much pot they smoke. Avoid any guy in a women’s studies class, he might be be genuine, but he’ll be snoozeville. Also, don’t be that girl. No self-respecting guy wants to date an out-of-control party girl. Sleep with, maybe, but not date. Even then, the guys chasing you will be the described above. Do drop acid and go to a big park or out in the open once, don’t make a habit out of it. Don’t blow-off a guy cause he’s broke, we are the ones that graduate with no credit card debt. Learn what an existential crisis looks like, and run like hell when you see one. Avoid people who talk too much about HS, they are about to have said crisis. Just do the right thing, and look for someone that does too. Don’t be afraid to be harsh, two people that share good intentions is the foundation of any relationship that’s not based on petty emotional games. Finally, avoid any guy that thinks Tucker Max is cool, has a catcher-in-the-rye thing or talks up Bukowski. Same thing with Popper, Sartre, Neitzsche or Hagel–I don’t think it’s possible to really understand those straight out of high-school. Last thing, don’t make a habit of going to “classy” bars or anywhere luxurious. You’ll unwittingly stand out and then get relentlessly hit on by some guy in his late 20s that will pretend to be sophisticated but is just obsessed with all the young girls he never had sex with. You’ll have oh-so-much time to do that scene in the future and be bored to tears with it.
Dear Natalie,
If you are anywhere in the Northeast that’s Amtrak accessible, I will totally take you on a picnic. I am dead serious. I won’t read you Shakespeare because that’s somebody else’s thing, and I’m sure hearing an amateur recite it would be amusing for like 10 seconds. But we can read something and then talk about it. Or we can just drink champagne and bullshit and enjoy the sunshine.
This is me.
First Video Guy — you are awesome. Natalie — find him.
To first video guy:
“Same thing with Popper, Sartre, Neitzsche or Hagel–I don’t think it’s possible to really understand those straight out of high-school”
I’m guessing this applies to women too? I’m fresh out of high-school and a girl who’s read waaay too much Sartre and Camus. GET READY COLLEGE BOYS(I GUESS).
I LOVE THIS. Sorry but you are right and it’s fucked, i graduate next week and didn’t find a single ‘good guy’. AND now i’m pissed because i thought first video guy was my secret true love.
But Tucker Max IS cool!
Both of you are sooo cool. But, I agree with Natalie, Shakespeare is too cheasy for me. Where are you from?
FVG, I like what you’re saying; romance is nice, but be real about it (drop the pretense, guys!)
Wish more guys were cute and down to earth like that.
Hope FVG and the girls find what they’re looking for (perhaps with each other?)
auhhh sheeiitt! NATALIE meet up with “first video guy” now!
FVG, i love how you basically wrote a blog post in the comments section of somebody else’s blog, and now people are commenting on your comment-post and not the real one. it’s too meta for me to handle
You need to have an open mind and be willing to get to know someone before judging them for sure. I’m 18 and my boyfriend just turned 16 and alot of people think that its kind of weird but he is the most mature person I know and he is a really great guy. Loyal to me and 100% in love with me, will do anything for me, and makes me feel like the most amazing girl o the planet (&&& DID I MENTIONS SUPER HOT!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!) yaa pretty much.
The thing is, i had the exact image of what I wanted in guy from the way he looked, to the shape of his nose, to the words he used, to the way he dresses and I wasn’t going to settle for anyone who didn’t have every single one of those qualities and I can guarantee that with a little bit of patience (or alot) and high standards for yourself, you will find the perfect guy who isn’t a dbag.
these girls are just as lovely in this video as they in person,let me assure you men. fvg,if you’ve got a friend like your kind self for my girl kathleen too, it’d be appreciated as well
they are both foxes and catches.
Good guys do exist… we call them homosexuals.
Unless you’re a gay guy, then they are all just lying whores like all other men. The trick for a girl is to find a guy who isn’t interested in your cupcake. They are the ones that will treat you the best.
justine’s dating bieber!!!!!
re. theodore- so, straight girls should date gay dudes? or straight dudes who aren’t after pussy? ie- gay dudes in denial/sexually confused? i’ll do it! xo
from a “good guy” perspective, I am curious if there is such a thing as being “too sweet”? I’ve been told I just keep choosing the wrong girls. I am choosing girls that aren’t mature enough to recognize that good guys do exist; girls that don’t recognize that a young woman doesn’t have to settle for a guy that treats her anything less than the absolute best.
all that said, i enjoyed the video
what happened with my date ? where is she ? can i have both ?
Sometimes I’m afraid that there’s a correlation between ‘not being girl-crazy but simply romantic’, and being a bit too introvert to tell pretty smart girls that they have feelings for them.
It’s not that they are really shy, they’ll probably be the guys that talk with you about ‘learned subjects’.
If you should notice such behavior, try taking the first step yourself. If not, I suppose you will eventually find the right match but I’ll think it’ll take a lot longer.
Good luck smart babes!
I met my husband in college…you can find a great guy. My advice that I give my friends still searching? Don’t date guys you meet at frat parties, house parties, and bars. Date friends and friends of friends!
It’ll happen I swear. I dated total jerks until I found the one…and all it takes is one.
re: boycrazy Exactly. The trick is to work out a deal where you cheat on each other with other men and do the relationship thing together. Hot meaningless sex and a good guy to come home to… what more could you ask for?
I’m not gonna leave a page long comment like first video guy (even though everybody seems to love him) But I would LOVE to take either of you two out! I’m a decent guy! I have morals! I don’t just want sex! I don’t drink or smoke! Plus Boycrazy said I’m a babe on her radio show! Ask her! Whoa I’m way to excited. I’m gonna get bold right now.. (909) 554-???? Email me if you want the rest! …I like long walks on the beach..
Drink, fuck and fight your way through college – oh and get some good grades too while you’re at it – it will prepare you for life in the big bad world. If you think you are needy now, wait until you are 30 and desperate for babies, you will still be meeting immature douchebags!
btw Kathleen there’s a modelling contract waiting for you in London if you ever make it over here…
Honestly, I guarantee it’s you picking the douchebags. What you say you want and what you’re taking an interest in are two different things. Oh and if you find a dude going around quoting you poetry and talking about some philosophy? Yeah, he’s a douchebag with a better strategy. Guys in college want to fuck, not settle down; they only will if they have to, when you have the power (when you are at least a bit out of their league and they can’t do nearly as good when straying).
Eventually, you’ll find that one, the one that worships you and treats you how you’ve always wanted to be treated… and then you’ll dump him because he’s clingy and boring.
pretty sure any dude from this blog would be better then the douches your dating now, because this blog is about love and relationship shit etc. and the dudes wouldn’t be on here if they didn’t care what so ever about love shiz, bros and beer pong are the worst and colleges are completely filled with them but somehow girls flock to them and get heart broken but still go back, good guys never win.
These girls are so cute! Sadly, most guys in college just want to get laid. But it IS possible to find love. It just might not happen for a couple years. Well, for me, it took 3 1/2. And then I graduated and moved to NYC and that was the end of that!
http://www.firednfabulous.com/
from a guy who called into my radio show about the brunette in this video:
yoo alexi this is spencer I just called into the show tonight talking about the twins who made the make it yours monday video. I would be stoked if you could forward my me facebook or something to natalie (thats the brunette i watched the video again!)…
http://www.facebook.com/sultsult
I’m not sure where they are at, but I would totally take her out because I’m going on tour this summer and am gona be in most parts of the country…
oh and I definitely don’t need to be drunk to bring my A game, but I couldn’t think of anything on the spot on the phone
anyways thanks for your help….
yea thats me, you should hit me back!
ss
yea thats me, you should hit me back!
I forgot to saw, I would totally want to make a mixtape too (not digital, i mean a real casette) even though i know thats corny, sometimes its the best way to express somehting :p
ss
I don’t know… I spent my entire life looking for one of those non-douchebags, and I did! I was so in love, and I was like – So that’s what people are talking about, when you find the one! He’s perfect! He’s so romantic! We’re so great together! But sometimes, my friends, there exists a SUPER ULTRA breed of douchebag, ie. The ones that lull you into a fake sense of security by specifically telling you they are not one of those typical assholes, but specifically not telling you about a) Their secret sex addiction b) secret online dating addiction c) their tendency to lie pathologically.
So now I’m with a different non-douchebag kind of guy, but because my first boyfriend was so sneaky I will kind of always believe all men are crapfaces, but some of them are better at hiding it than others.
Sure its possible. I found one, he is amazing.
I’m sure at one point he was a total douchebag who cheated and lied and all that..
but now he is 30 and over that shit.
point in case
date older guys with their shit together
its an 11 year age difference but he is great and we love each other
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
OK
So about 8 months ago I felt the same way! I was dating a douche bag but I was moving to another country so I just let it fizzle out and I thought that there was no such thing as real romantic love, I’ve been used and had my heart trampled on many times!!!
Then at my most jaded point I met my current boyfriend. He is the man of my dreams.. he is everything I described as the perfect boyfriend and we are really happy. We have moved in together and moved to a new country together!
I just graduated university and I didn’t meet him at school, I met him through friends.
My advice try new things, date guys you wouldn’t normally date. A lot of married people say their husbands are not their type! Go to places you wouldn’t go (not scary places)give people chances BUT never date because you are bored and don’t see it going somewhere.
Be open with the person you are dating and about what you want!
Good luck!
LOL my baby turned out soo ugly using this baby face generator http://bit.ly/9C5rgd
these “smart” babes are coked up in this vid. They should be glad guys are interested at all. Lots of women out there are lonely and never get asked out or paid attention to. These girls wouldnt know a substance if it sat on them. They want Josh Hartnett.
That andy guy is crazy…. We were certainly not “coked” up. You’re a crazy man. Yeah, josh hartnett is hot though, you’ve got that part right…
haha I completely love Justin Bieber!
the good guys have to make something of themselves to build up confidence. after college its a go. the best looking guys/guys that got to much pussy in high school are usually assholes.
Where do you go to college?
wow this whole spencer guy trying to track down natalie is insanely romantic and im am 100% jealous. I feel exactly like natalie. specner, where’s the love?
im totally serious too.
haha
I don’t even know where to start. Watching this video was like watching myself as a college freshman. So creepy. And I’ve never commented before but I just HAD to when I watched this.
I WAS THERE! And MY GOSH I forgot how fun it was to be in your shoes! I graduated uni last year. In my time there, I had a few serious relationships. The guys were great in many ways, but YOUNG too, and we both made a lot of mistakes and I would find myself single all over again. Despite the horrible break ups I went through, I wouldn’t change my experiences for anything. I learned a lot by going into everything with an open mind and an open heart. Though none of them were Mr. Right (far from it) I still had fun. BUT, the MOST fun I had, and the semesters that I did best, was when I was single. Take advantage of the campus full of wanton boys of varying degrees of hotness AND intelligence!
And since college, I have met that guy that I’ve been wanting to meet my whole life, and we’re moving to NYC together in January to start OUR life! So don’t loose hope!!
THINGS TO REMEMBER: Sex is not the enemy. be safe. DON’T FORGET WHY YOU ARE IN COLLEGE (to learn!!). Embrace your beauty- you are beautiful. And try to channel Stevie Nicks as much as possible.
And I don’t want to seem shameless, but the website I’ve attached is the blog I wrote while dating in college. I was inspired by Alexi to write through it, so check it out! You might find something that speaks to you too!