BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 46)- special ‘for dudes only’ edition (part 1 of 2):

1.  confidence is key! i cannot stress this enough! an unsure, all over the place, topsy turvey, confused, weak dude is not sexy. own your shit muthah-fuckah! know who you are. if you aren’t a master of something, at least be a master at being you! Jesus!

2. be creative when coming up with date ideas. you never know; if planned properly, you could end up at the driving range with a bottle of champagne or making out in a park, also with a bottle of champagne! share an epic experience that will make both your lives more interesting!

3. fuck like you have a big dick, even if you don’t.

4. call her on the phone, at least SOMETIMES!!!! if you REALLY want to see her, if you really want to make sure she got your text, if you REALLY MEAN IT- call her.

5. have a job you love and are passionate about that pays you well.

6. dudes! stop driving with your knees! I never see girls doing this! why do you do this?! What the fuck are you trying to proves anywayz! it’s scary and unnecessary!

7. choose your gear wisely dudes… wisely! all it takes is some stupid pair of shoes or embroidered flappy jean pockets to make a girl walk in the opposite direction. try not to blow it before you even open your mouth! and when you do, it should be to eat her pussy! what? too far?

8. no backhanded compliments as a woo’ing tactic, but sexy sarcasm is great.

9. dudes, wash behind your ears. it smells like mildew back there! especially if you wear a hat or glasses or BOTH! YOU can’t smell it, but we can! Same goes for your privates! Use apricot soap EVERYWHERE!

10. be amazing in bed! be confident, and TOTALLY eat her pussy! be a master at getting her off by sucking on her mother fucking pussy! and don’t just suck: lick, tickle, flick (with the tip of your tongue), kiss, and slowly/deeply stick your finger inside her. MAKE A WOMAN COMING IN YOUR MOUTH YOUR MISSION! IT WILL MAKE YOU VIRTUALY INDESPENSABLE AND GIVE YOU EPIC WORD OF MOUTH! i promise!

11. size matters, but gurth is more important than length. AND IF BOTH ARE AN ISSUE, PLEASE REFER TO #10.

12. don’t walk around with your arms crossed. that’s some serious bad body language AND automatically implies you’re a pussy.

(stay tuned for part 2)

follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

i love you.

29 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 46)- special ‘for dudes only’ edition (part 1 of 2):”

  1. 6: i agree! i don’t understand this at all. i’ve tried doing it to see what the big deal is, but nope, pretty much impossible.
    7: it’s shallow, but it’s true. if a dude is wearing sporty jogging sneakers on an everyday every event kind of basis, you will not be getting a look from anyone. also, i absolutely despise when a guy wears a tee shirt with a short sleeved button up, unbuttoned, over top. just ew. it reminds me of those creepy geeky guys from high school in the button up t’s with the fire breathing dragon designs on their shirts.

  2. how do you fake number 1 if you don’t think you’re god’s greatest gift to man?

  3. Ladies, nobody goes downtown till the scene has been checked out first. That is a 2 way street. you want eau d’apricot, fine. We do too(I prefer lavender myself). Unless of course you have found some drunk assed nasty red wing having freak! THAT guy is not going to be the guy that washes behind his ears.

  4. 10 is making me hot!

  5. fucking awesome.

  6. love it. love you. best.

  7. I do the knee thing! I got it from my old man, but that’s if I’m commenting on this site while I’m driving like right now…jk

    I live by’em and they work.

  8. I’m the dude you met in Starbucks. You asked me how I found your blog. I still can’t tell you how… but I CAN tell you that your Blind Leading the Blind’s are why I follow it. Keep up the good work beautiful!

  9. I once knew a guy who didn’t want to touch my clit… I don’t think he even knows the importance of it. Anyway, long story short, he was the biggest waste of time.

  10. Brilliant as always!

    #4: Seriously, when did guy stop calling girls to ask them out? 50 text messages does not equal a phone call.

    #5: If you don’t have a job, don’t go on & on about how you can’t get one and how broke you are! If you’re trying to get to know someone, hearing tales of financial woes is such a buzz kill. This seems to be a growing trend in LA. No one wants to hear that sh*t.

  11. I agree with most of this. But, if a girl wants to be eaten, she better blow. And if she wants a guy that has a well paying job he’s passionate about, she better have the same thing going for her. Just saying.

  12. I once witnessed a 3-point turn executed entirely by knee, and it was fucking awesome. I’m pretty sure I’d have had a total moisty over it, were I a girl.

  13. This was fucking awesome. Yessssssssssss

  14. Driving with your knees is something I’ve never heard of but it’s probably better than driving with your forehead which I have heard of. Macauley Culkin and Michael Pitt: separated at birth?

  15. @james: the girls i know have well paying jobs that they’re passionate about, which makes meeting boys that suck at life TOTALLY BLOW EVEN MORE.

  16. Need more like this.

  17. Preach, Alexi, preach! Amen.

  18. Hells yes Alexi!

  19. […] did a “Blind Leading the Blind” post for dudes, some key points that needs some […]

  20. YES! YES! OHHH YESSSS!!! (that’s going to be me when the dudes finally know what to do down there)THANK YOUUUUU ALEXIIIII hahaha =D

  21. Fan of this list.

  22. A job you love that ALSO pays well? Yeah, still searching for that one! Everything on the list is on point, as usual. Embroidered back pockets? Touche! INSTANT deal-breaker!

  23. lol at knee driving

  24. Love your ‘blind leading the blind’ lists!!
    I don’t like my job and don’t like talking about it, but it pays well, which affords me these shoes… so give and take, ya know?

  25. #11 AMEN

    p.s. you spelled GIRTH wrong

  26. That’s a great post!Has anyone ever tried this before?

  27. Why can’t I find someone like this that actually has something to talk about rather than bullshit stories and rumors they make me tone out and feel sorry for them

  28. Cheers you legend. Come check my website, you might like it.

  29. Knee driving is a necessary skill. How else am I gonna make the show on time and still smoke my blunt? Stupid bitch.

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