BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 48):

1. don’t talk during a movie you fucking asshole! yeah, I’m talking to YOU and your fucking slut date! i can’t believe i even have to tell you this! this is some universal/unwritten/unspoken law shit! JESUS! this goes for texting too!

2. every time a man eats asparagus, SOMEWHERE a woman cries/gags.

3. write a list of anything and everything you wanna do before you die- and start doing it!!!

4. if you’re on a budget- just tell every restaurant you go to that it’s your birthday and get free cake! But, on second thought, you really shouldn’t be eating out so much you know!? maybe just order a coffee and get the free cake and run for it. but wait, you should pay for the coffee though dude. and leave a tip too. i mean, it’s the right thing to do.

5. just because it’s a soy chai latte, doesn’t mean it’s NOT gonna make you fat! cuz it TOTALLY will! except it’ll do it covert ninja styles! fat travels in liquid form too asshole! that’s what milkshakes are all about!

6. don’t drive when you have to pee! cuz if you get in a crash, your bladder could break and the pee will poison your insides. true story!

7. don’t blow your nose into toilet paper and then use that same toilet paper to wipe your privates. It’s gross. and it could give you aids maybe. JK JK, but TOTALLY a weird infection for sure!

8. if he drives a yellow car, he’s not worth your time.

9. wear sunscreen you idiot! Even in winter!

10. nothing matters! For real! We are all dying! no joke. I have to remember this shizz when I’m having a way crazy/off day and I feel scared and sad and let small things bother me. starting NOW, i DEMAND you say ‘i don’t give a fuck!’ to yourself! and whenever you’re trying to decide what you should do in a situation, ask yourself ‘what would the fifty year old me tell me to do?’ chances are, most likely, the fifty year old you will say ‘do it muthah-fuckah!’ it’s all about having no regrets and seizing the day!!!

36 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 48):”

  1. I don’t give a fuck.

  2. # 2, hilarious, # 10, so true.
    I love you!

  3. Hahaha #6 and #7 GROSS! Ten is golden 😀

  4. sunscreen is so full of junk, and sun is actually good for you. dont believe the sunscreen hype.

  5. Pee is sterile!? Unless you are diabetic…

  6. i’m trying to not give a fuck. trying to not try is hard. fuck.

  7. I’m so guilty of #1! ESPECIALLY the texting. I just can’t help it! BUT, I’m never the girl that gets up to pee, stepping on everyone’s toes as I make my exit..during the most pivotal part in the movie, no doubt.

  8. Very intense, Alexi.

  9. Oh, Alexi… I love you. Like I need the hot, gay, boy version of you… lol <3

  10. If you go through life not giving a fuck what a hollow life one must be living. But don’t let others run your life as the asshole who gave you bad advice will not be there on your last day saying “My bad” as you stand waiting for your lifes judgement. Follow your dreams not someone elses. It’s not an easy road but a bit more pleasing when you get older and you look back at your travels.

  11. Sunscreen definitely is NOT hype!! The only good your getting out of the sun is Vitamin D, which you can still recieve while wearing the block. Skin cancer is alive and well people.

  12. great post, one of my favourites for a while it was funny witty and uplifting go alexi!

  13. Alexi, have you been reading my blog? >:)

  14. #7 made my face look like this D: I’ve never ever considered anyone would do that.

    I think of #10 to make me feel better too actually.

  15. #10 just made me feel a MILLION times better. A guy I was supposed to meet for coffee ditched me for a party. It BLOWZ.

    luv you alexi

  16. thank you!
    i love you too!!!!

  17. we’re all dying. wow.

  18. blind leading the blind is the best

  19. god. reading this blog is like picking at a scab for me. it hurts me badly, but i can’t stop. such ‘feel-ok’ feral idiocy makes me get travis bickle inside.

  20. so oddly inspirational

  21. “if he drives a yellow car, he’s not worth your time.”

    This guy at a party was all over me, wanted to hang out, whatever. Well then he completely ignored me! Just for no reason! Totes a douchebag.

    He drives a yellow car.
    It’s so true.

  22. great post!
    ps – you need to update your tumblr, haha

  23. I love nr 10.
    I absolutely love it.

  24. also, I would just like to say I saw you in NYLON magazine for Sebastian Professional, and I flipped shit! you are amazing.

  25. what issue kt? is it on the stands now? september issue? i must know! : )

  26. #9 golden rule, goes for dudes too, zinc/suncreen up, dont want to end up a crusty old leather boot

  27. you suck. stop posting.

  28. uhm…what time is it?

  29. there’s nothing I love more than the blind leading the blind and your attitude about everything. except maybe my boyfriend and family and stuff. but those are hard real life loves, when it comes to easy I would like to laugh out loud every day, love, this is #1.

  30. your life will improve drastically with only giving 40% less of a fuck. Start slow…baby steps

  31. Asparagus is healthy. I got charged for a cake after saying it was my birthday one time. The chemicals in sun screen cause cancer.

  32. @justin: yep september issue!!

  33. luv the last one!

  34. #2 – but if you eat it with a fat steak with corn on the cob with butter and parmesan cheese, tapatio-I’m mexican, and a bottle of red wine that rule is bs.

    How to prepare your asparagus
    grab a pan heat that shit up
    put butter and olive oil
    add asparagus
    add salt, pep, and a bit of kosher salt
    cook for 5 min depending on how shitty your stove is or tender
    have a smoke
    make sure to have it with beefy steak with barbq, potatos or corn on the cob
    invite your boss lady over
    give her red wine to compliment steak
    have desert on her “box”
    have a cig
    done and done.

  35. Is loving the spoon and guitar combo outside of at Nicholas …

  36. what a bunch of crap… as if everytime a man eats asparagus you HAVE to go and suck his penis… seriously. grow the fuck up.

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