BLOG » the perfect BFFF (best female friend forever):

All I’m looking for in a girlfriend is someone I can laugh with, who looks good on my arm and makes me cooler. We should be able to tell each-other anything without boundaries or judgement! No judgement! I’d love for you to teach me to wear red lipstick. And for me to feel comfortable enough for us to have tea at fancy hotels and people watch together. I want to WANT to see movies with you, cuz I’m naturally inclined to see them alone.

And I really want to bypass the whole calling dibs on a dude thing. If we BOTH like a guy- HE’LL decide who he wants to be with. We can’t say ‘he’s off limits’ just because we laid eyes on a guy/proclaimed a dude cute/or met him first. And we should BOTH be able to be OK with the outcome of the situation and let it go if he doesn’t like me/or you. Cuz I’LL totally be ok if he doesn’t like ME. That way we can remain friends and date whoever we click with best and never have to worry about our friendship limiting us/our love life! (I know the world is large- so why do we have to share the same crush on a guy?/blah blah blah- well, because the world is also small. And like attracts like and social circles are small and facebook and twitter are only making it smaller. So stepping on eachothers toes while flirting is bound to happen. So get the fuck over it and grow up. It’s totally not personal!) and we can make other girl friend/bffs feel lame/bad about themselves for not being as evolved as we are. We should be grown ups and above petty bullshit! We may watch the real housewives together (NYC is our FAVORITE- cuz we’re new yorkers too, even if we were born and raised in la- and rarely visit NYC as of late- it’s a way of life/mentality more than anything), but we don’t emulate their nonsense and drama- We just find it entertaining in small doses and are happy shizz like that doesn’t exist in our world! We love flipping out too! And agree we would both date Jeff Lewis if we were gay men! But like, we don’t ALWAYS have to agree- this is just a perfect fantasy with room for notes and compromise. Not too much compromise though! I’d really like for this friendship to be effortless!

I want to want for us to go shopping together. I’d also like it if you loved coffee. There. I said it. And BTW, I don’t want to feel ugly or fat or less than around you. I want to have slumber parties even though we’re not thirteen. I want to be able to call you at four in the morning and know it’s OK and that I’m safe and you won’t be mad at me because you love me and you understand that I wouldn’t be calling if It wasn’t important. I want to feel understood and accepted even if I’m not perfect. I want to help throw you a  birthday party or bridal shower or bachelorette party and for you to do the same for me (be my go to) if I decide to do any of those things too. I want us to be Madonna and Gweneth, minus the weird fight they got in that is still a little unclear to me, and ultimately none of my (our) bizness.

I don’t want to make-out or for us to have a threesome. I don’t want to sexualize this. This female friendship is a safe zone. We give enough blow jobs and bad hand jobs as it is. The last thing I wanna do is learn about your clitoris. I mean, I’m sure it’s beautiful, but it’s just not for me. And you’re not even bi sexual- Let alone a lesbian. So why am I even explaining myself? Anywayzies, together we are in a safe, fun, cozy, girly bubble. We can talk about dreams and boys, and shopping, and fucking, and taking over the world. I don’t even wanna borrow your clothes. This isn’t about that! I don’t want to lend you money or borrow money, I just want to be emotional rocks for one another and to be eachothers person to be held accountable. I want to have movie marathons, and go dancing together and maybe even go on a road trip to Vegas- even though I don’t even really like Vegas- but we would go ironically and take in a Chippendale’s show, go to a strip club, see Cher. I wanna go to your house and get ready/dressed up for fancy parties together! I want us to be better off for knowing eachother and being in eachothers life.

I want your friends to like me and not be territorial/too cool for school dicks who make this forging of a friendship difficult for us! I’m awesome! what is their deal?! People don’t own people! What’s with the pack mentality? Actually, it’s cool, but let me be part of the pack first and then we can pull that shit on other people. But not really, but maybe. Cuz it feels good to feel like you’re a cooler kid and excluding lame-os. but that’s lame and we’re not in 7th grade. And it’s bad karma too. But if you MUST do that, don’t you fucking dare treat me like a lame-o!

Back to my point, I want to want us to get manicure/pedicures together. Cuz I do all of this shit alone or with whoever my current boyfriend is.and I’m sick of it. I’m ok being alone. But that’s been done. I’d like to meet the one. I’d like to meet YOU! Whoever YOU are! I don’t even know if you exist. Or if I’d like you. Or if you’d like me. I wonder if I’ll ever be comfortable enough in my skin to feel calm with another women. Comfortable enough not to worry about my facial expressions when I’m listening to your stories with intense concentration/respect/and a tiny bit of devotion that lets you know I care and you are understood and heard. People want that! Fuck, they NEED it. Do all people deserve that, is another story! I want to feel comfortable enough not to think you hate me, or are talking shit about me when I leave the room or don’t see you for a little while.

i haven’t found a potential best friend who encompasses all these things, YET! but I’ve found fragments- here and there- in different people. and maybe that’s all i’ll ever find. but at least now I’ve painted a picture for myself, so i know what I’m looking for.  xo

61 Responses to “the perfect BFFF (best female friend forever):”

  1. i’m just gonna say what everyone else has already said… where do i apply!!

  2. hi there,

    I’m writing to you from Australia. My friend Casey just showed me your page and I felt inclined to tell you about my friend Celeste. We share most of the details above but despite alot of effort boys have been a bit in the way lately. You’re very cool and you remind me of the way myself and my friends talk, very honest and very bold. My friend Celeste has a blog called “” I miss her so much and have been feeling rather replaced by another girl lately (although I love that girl also to pieces). Celeste is a person that makes everyone feel good about themselves, she is completely outrageous. But anyway…thank you…you make me realise that I truly need to mend whattever we lost of late. Because I miss washing each others hair and talking about sex without getting looked out weird like ive spilt waaay too much information. Goodluck in finding you BFFF but I should warn you these things cannot be forced and you have to take the good with the bad. The most important thing is to be you, you seem like the kind of girl that doesnt hold back on information, if you can find someone completely honest and driven like yourself you’re bound to find your miss bff in no time…just don’t expect perfection.

  3. I think the jealousy/ undermining thing is mostly an issue with younger girls (-25). I used to experience this a lot when I was younger. After some growing up, most young women realize that it’s useless to undermine other girls to make themselves feel better and start to support each other instead.
    The insecurity issues go away as you get older and you will start to find a lot of friendships like the one you describe. Also girls: restrain yourself from doing the judging/undermining thing to other girls, sometimes you find yourself doing it without realizing it I guess. Confront girls when you see them doing it, without judging them. Girls need to be sisters, not competitors.
    I went from having no girlfriends to having a LOT of them in the last few years. Girls rock!

  4. im 19 n i have this exact friend u n my bestie have been friends for 9 years n going strong. It is defiantly possible and Im sure you will find a best friend

  5. Dear girl who wants to take over the world with her wonderfully sarcastic blog,

    I really do hope you find this friend you describe (she sounds pretty AMAZING). I, like you, have only found glimpse of what you describe but in various people (never in 1).

    The one thing I have learned is that a friend should make you feel as follows:

    Whenever you two are together you feel like your wildest dreams aren’t so wild. You feel exhilarated, kind of invincible. You feel like your high… ON LIFE! And you never wanna come down from that high. Laughing is effortless, and taking over the world together… well, it’s what you guys discuss over tea.

  6. aww someday it’ll happen! I’ve been lucky enough to find 2 really good friends to do things with!!

  7. i have her. she rocks. she thinks the boys i like (skinny on heroin lookin hipsters who play in a band or 3) are disgusting and in turn i hate her super jock crushes. we shouldn’t work but we do. and she makes the best tea ever(extremely important to friendship in ireland!)

  8. Come to NYC!!! We’ll people watch and try to make it on Missed Connections, and going out lookin all types of cute and makeout with random boyz.

    Luv you.

  9. What you wrote was beautiful and I am so lucky and blessed to have a best friend like that. We have been best friends for 17 years and we are so lucky to have found each other. Brooke S–I love ya!

  10. Why is it so hard to find cool girlfriends!? I have some sweet friends and all but none who are really into the things I am, and I feel like I am always compromising conversationally, socially, and it blows. I should start a dating type website for cool girls to meet other cool girls. I live in LA, cool girl seeking cool girl, friendship style.

  11. Currently it seems like Expression Engine is the top blogging platform out there right
    now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

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