BLOG » FOR DUDES ONLY- How to for SURE blow it with a GREAT girl (part 1):
1. Talk about other girls in front of her while on a date.
2. tell her you’re planning a extensive trip to Thailand. And when she says ‘oh. Are you into Asian food and sightseeing?’ Just say ‘no. Not at all.’ Then wink at a little boy and change the subject.
3. don’t pay. ESPECIALLY on your FIRST date!
4. tell her you have an std.
5. look at yourself in the mirror every chance you get.
6. comment on how she’s eating too much.’Wow! you can really eat a lot for a girl.’
7. neg her as MUCH as possible.
10. tell her you have mom issues.
11. don’t bathe for days, then play an intense/killer game of dodge ball, RIGHT before she goes down on you.
12. smoke.
13. be bad in bed.
14. NEVER go down on her.
15. eat raw onions and garlic on your date….especially if it’s leading up to your FIRST kiss!
16. do drugs.
17. tell her you love strip clubs.
18. tell her you’ve been to a prostitute.
19. admit to having hit your ex girlfriend.
20. tell her you never wanna have kids.
I know you said guys only but I was curious and I read every post, of course.
How to blow it with a chick if you’re older and balding?
1) Wear tiny gold hoop earrings
Am I right, Alexi?
Thischarmingshit.blogspot.com
21. Invite your girlfriend to stay with you for a week, tell her not to purchase flight insurance because you’re SURE that nothing will come up, and then one week before her trip, tell her you’re going to LA for four days while she’s supposed to be with you and she can’t come. Oh, and then don’t call her back.
Ditto, Sasha.
How about 21: Face rape her during your first kiss.
It’s going to to a cold & lonely world… help me make it an Ice Cold World, Alexi!
i guarantee this will ALL work.
These sounds about right, and I like Sasha’s additional earring dealbreaker. Also, referring to all women as “females,” talking on a bluetooth all the time and lying. Also, look at how they treat the waitstaff if you go out to dinner! It’s very telling!
Yeah, notice how there isn’t a list for ‘how to blow it with a great guy’. You know why? Because women don’t have to give a shit about doing something “unattractive”. Most people are dunces who let sex cloud their judgment. As long as men keep pretending the sun shines out of the opposite sex’s ass in a desperate attempt to get laid, we’re forever doomed to spoiled trains of thought, such as this article, which is just one big sense of entitlement issue in list form.
this article gave me a boner
MASTURBATION TIME EVERYBODY’S INVITED!
You are a silly girl.
I heart list form sense of entitlement!!
While all of your points a valid Alexi, they can all be trumped if a guy is really good looking and the girl has low self asteem. Being that “Guy Friend” I’ve heard about worse shit. Case in point. I have a friend who’s boyfriend got so drunk while we were all out that he pissed himself, not once but twice. I thought for sure that she was gonna ditch his ass ASAP. Nope. She dated him for 4 months until HE broke it off with her. My friend is a very beautiful girl, both inside and out. She could date just about anyone. Yet, she dated a guy who urinated in his own pants twice in one evening, in public no less. My only conclussion is that he looked like a male model. I’m a desent looking guy, but I could never get away with that shit. Then again, I have enough common sense not to get so drunk I piss myself in front of my girlfriend and her friends.
21. Break up with her.
22. Call her two weeks/months/any amount of time later and expect her to want you back.
23. Get mad when she tells you she needs time.
Oddly puritanical.
Since it Christmas.
24.Don’t buy her something for the kitchen (unless she asks)or something to do with housework (“NO” Vacuum cleaners). You will end up on the shit list if you do. You will be able to tell this by a long drawn out period of silence that will last untill the new year.
25.Don’t buy her something from Victoria Secrets (unless she asks) as this is more for you than her. Remember you are buying something for her.
wow. If it was only that easy!
Hey alexi, how about making a list of 20 things you appreciate about men? But 20 things ABOUT them, not what they do for you. Like, not “I love when a guy picks up the check.” but rather about their nature. or whatever.
I will forward to all my male friends. xoxo, I’m lovvving the girl
i will totally do that yo.
Couldn’t it be argued that telling them you have an STD is way better than not telling them you have an STD?
If you have boner problems, I mean.
As for #14: a note to guys that don’t want to; THE (!) best way to feel like a man — or woman if you are gay — is to get your girl off by going down on her! Learn it! Do it! Love it! You’ll be glad you did.
As to all the things a guy shouldn’t say… forget it. I’m sorry to have to contradict Alexi, but honesty is *always* the best policy. If she doesn’t like it that’s too damn bad. She’s obviously not the one you need her in your life. Man up and tell the truth!
21. Call her the wrong name. Especially the name of an ex.
Nice list
great girls unite!
What’s's wrong with drugs? Not the hard, personality killing, socially damaging drugs, but pot, E, LSD, or mushrooms? Those can be beautiful to do together and shouldn’t have the same negativity as heroin. Also, is it true what ya’ll saying about ‘breaking up with her’ and ‘expecting her to get back with you’? I’m trying to get back with my ex and I dumped her. Also, what’s the verdict on guys being uncircumsized?
Oh and the fucking girl for this photo is great. Feel bad for the shmo who ruined it with her.
all joking aside- yes, it’s way better to tell her you have an std if you have one. and people should tell eachother BEFORE they have sex.
answer dylans questions everyone! xo
hey Waser, how about you give the opposite list now? A little positive re-enforcement. I have a super crush on this girl but im being patient and getting my 6 pack back so shell totally wanna make out and ill be more confident.
Dylan, don’t do drugs ever! Allll bad allllll the time, there are so many better ways to spend your time. And drugs make you look desperate and sad. Also for what reason did you break up with this girl? Have you been with many girls in the meantime?
could’ve sworn you swore by a bit of speed-like symptoms from your Radio Show. you’re an original alexi but no drugs? c’mon
wel…what do you do if you are a girl who goes out with a guy who doesnt pay on your first date and you STILL like him?
Co-sign #6 Betty Draper Complex’s comment. Calling women “females” is a major no-no in my book. Oh and being wishy washy, or expecting a woman to chase you. Yeah the fuck right. Also, having zero ambition. Sigh, I could go on for days.
girl you said it!
i’d only add one thing
do tell the girl you’re interested in that you’ve cheated on all or most of your past ex girlfriends, i mean total turn on right?!
I didn’t pay for my current girlfriend on our first date. That didn’t stop her from coming over that night–and we’ve since been dating 6 months solid. Recently, I’ve spent $150 on dinner for her birthday and $80 on another dinner, just because. If you pay on the first date, three things can happen:
1. Aww, that’s sweet! Mr. prince charming here really knows how to treat a lady.
2. God, now I have to have sex with this guy? He spends $20 and suddenly thinks he owns my vagina?
3. This is fun, but I see this going nowhere. Thanks for the free dinner and movie ticket! Maybe we can do this again, but I’ll never have sex with you. Or love you.
Number 2 and 3 happen way to often. And even if it’s a #1 scenario, it can easily turn into a #2 or #3 scenario several dates (and hundreds of dollars) later. Way too many guys are, oft unintentionally, disrespected and taking advantage of because of “chivalry.” If a girl REALLY likes me, it doesn’t matter who pays. As a matter of fact, if we’re right for each other and the magic is there, the check is an afterthought. However, if a girl is struggling financially, I will ALWAYS pick up the tab.
I understand girls like to be taken out and treated well, but this is something for your committed and invested BOYFRIEND to do, not a new guy you’ve just met and are figuring out. It’s insanity to date 30-50 guys in a year, and expect each one to dump cash on you without even KNOWING you.
get em james!
yeah, drugs with girls is cool too.
if a girl doesn’t like strip clubs i don’t have time for her.
prostitutes are fine.
The guy I’m with has covered 1, 4, 11, 12, 14, 15, and 16 and I think he is awesome. There is possibly something wrong with me, but I like him for being so vulgar. He knows he isn’t well mannered, and then told me how awesome it is that ‘a beautiful girl’ was with someone like him.. an alcoholic, nicotine addict with an absent father and declining health. I don’t think we need to be so perfect all the time.
dead on.. lol!!
#3-I personally enjoy chipping in on the tab! Or if the guy pays I’ll pay for desert or something like that.
#4- please tell me you have an STD
hahaha:)
oh, word? you guys are into this victorian sex era big media shit? good luck… and, no, nothing odd about it at all; actually, I think it’s pretty CONSISTENTLY puritanical. i hope you all realize none of these “rules” in the form of a “list” mean anything at all, just like your identity…
Or you can skip all of that and just disagree with her. On anything, doesn’t have to be big. Just unapologetically and firmly disagree with her on a point where you and her differ in opinion. You’ll be getting called an abusive jerk and having your stuff put in a box to the left in no time!
mmmm, not so much personal as what it represents and what it wants to represent before many, many more people who don’t exactly get it either. pretty sure she’s a nice girl, or adult woman, rather… i’d probably mess with it… not in any serious way though. i know you all want it simple like stallone. but that’s where the problem lies. the “agenda” is the resolute absence knowledge about reality which only creates more false ones. cooperate pitch people who barely finished high school, if at all, writing and producing “serious television” puts the scare in my pants. and that’s not a hate thing, that’s an awareness for public health thing…
seriously curious here
“never” go down on her?
tough habit to break mark. of course we can always talk it out victorian style.
…and if you never do any of these but are still very single?? is she not a GREAT girl or do you just suck
You must really be a big fan of Daisy Lowe. With good reason!!!1
Single as I want be JD and pay for the who deal when we eat out, every time. However, not everyone defines themselves in relation to another. That’s actually main problem I have with it, the whole entire premise. But I like Ms. Wasser, I like Daisy Lowe (especially since she’s from the UK and saw value in finishing school while being a model). The only thing I can that’s positive about this media venture is that Alexi gives a suicide disclaimer before the start of each and every one her radio shows, because there are ton of little girls who are going to watch her “real” T.V. show that don’t look like Alexi, who are just as boy crazy as in MENTALLY CRAZY… They won’t get that disclaimer same then, so they’re going to think that defining themselves in a heterosexual relationship should be the top, A-1 goal in their young lives which will be one more contribution among INFINITUDE media-based messages making them sick in the first place.
By any chance, has any of these ever happen to you? Just a lil curious..
still waiting on that list boycrazy
even though i read all of these tips before in various Cosmo aritlces, that is a nice artsy nood of you.
olivier is the homie
If you mean great tits like the photo at top of page, sure that girl can manipulate men and get what she wants. 20 years after that photo was taken she’ll be begging them to be with her.
I didnt pay on the first or second date and still banged the girl. If a chick demands the guy pay shes a golddigging whore. Tell her you only date strong independent women and if she argues dump her. Google Roosh V for more info. Only a pussy takes a women to an expensive dinner on the first date.
American sheep women are brainwashed that Thailand is evil so don’t mention it to them. They believe everything the see in the media, unlike the millions of Aussie and Euro/UK women that have actually been to Thailand and love it.
There are more hookers in LA then all of Thailand.
Women neg/nag men every minute.
If a girl’s honest that she has dad or mom issues the dude accepts it and moves on. If the dude tells the girl that he doesnt get along with his mom for any reason, she judges him harshly. Thats cause girls are hypocrites with double standards. Men: Don’t ever admit any family problems or baggage or the bitch will henpeck you for life and crucify you over it. Women are like cops, always investigating and interrogating. Remain silent.
Smoke? Like you and plenty of chicks do?
Guys do all the work in bed so girls can be dead fish and terrible.
How hard is it to lie on your back with your legs spread? Most chicks can’t suck a dick either.
Since they can’t handle honesty about not wanting kids, LIE! Just keep fucking and lieing!
Number 33 above speaks the truth! Men, read and listen!
number 7 above, right on target!
number 16, high five bro
Alcohol, prescription meds and cigs are drugs, dumbshits
wow, just realized Im going out with someone who applies to 6 of those. Shit.
haha, i love this.