BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 56):
1. DON’T smise too hard. Yes, it evokes a friendly sexy essence, but it TOTALLY gives you wrinkles too! Pick your battles bro.
2. sometimes the person you’re telling your secret to, doesn’t actually wanna know/hear it/or be burdened!
3. family restaurants are called ‘family restaurants’ cuz they serve dead families.
4. don’t tell the new guy you’re dating all the negative shit your best platonic dude friend is saying about him. Cuz then if you ever want the two of them to meet/be friends/or simply coexist in the same room, it’ll be way awkward.
5. never trust a man, date a man, or fuck a man in a bad suit or bad shoes.
6. if you’re in a restaurant and it smells like salmon and you say ‘why does it smell like salmon in here?’ and then an Asian person walks by…… you’re racist!
7. start throwing around the word ‘brunch’ left and right like a crazy motherfucker! it will ONLY make your whole life seem more fancy and worth living. i promise.
8. YOU might be old, but your haircut doesn’t have to be! keep it fresh gurrrl/dude!
9. people who don’t watch TV are assholes AND some of my best friends.
10. even if you’re ONLY forcing yourself to get a lot of shit done to avoid freaking out about the fact that he isn’t texting you back- it’s fine! At least you’re keeping busy and getting shit done!
Please tell me you’re doing a blind leading the blind edition for Christmas/Christmas cocktail parties where everyone asks you if you’re still single, have a better job yet, and casually sip their champagne while you freak the freak out.
What’s the best way to run into old friends slash/ their parents and seem totally cool and put together (besides wearing great shoes and not getting drunk, of course)?? <3
These just aren’t funny anymore *shrugs*
alexi, one day i’m going to be a strong woman like you.
2. True. Unless someone specifically asks you to vent, don’t let your issues spill over onto other people. Save that shit for your therapist.
9. HAHA universally true
#5 is basically the rule of my life.
10 .. oh my god thank you for saying that! so i am not the only one!
#5 – shoes are a make or break!
10….Isn’t everyones house always the cleanest it ever is when soneone is waiting (and waiting and waiting) for that certain person they hope will get hold of them.
i feel bad for the guys you have in friend zone
#5 what are bad shoes? i admit, i have very little fashion sense. sorry. are black nikes wrong? they’re comfortable, and i have to wear black shoes for my job. off the job i wear timberland work boots. again, comfortable. bad shoes? sounds pretty shallow, even by my standards. just sayin’ luvs you xoxo
Hells yes Alexi, I agree with Sarah. We need your expert help to make it through the christmas season. That’s right douche-lord from high school I’m single again, and yes Aunt Heather I am still working at the same job. So depressing!
Love these.
#7 Word up! Brunch DOES make me think of fancy things… pearls, mimosas, flat front khakis. Not sure why. I still have yet to do brunch in this city. I guess I’m waiting for someone special
#9 I don’t watch TV [I don't even have a TV] – but heck I live in NYC where I feel guilty for SLEEPING lest I miss out on something. Obviously I’d rather be out there living life than watching other people live it on the boob tube.
#10 Keeping busy is the best way to get your mind off a guy. When your heart gets broken or shitted on, hustle harder and you truly do forget about all the pain. Find something else to excite you and take up your time and you’ll be as good as new in no time.
p.s. – Thanks for all the blog traffic! 20 visits from your site just this month. Apparently your readers have fantastic taste. Keep it coming!
But the smise is my #1 go to!It’s practically all I have!
…Is anguish sexy?
What does “SMISE” mean? Is that a Jewish word???
BRUNCH BRUNCH BRUNCH…BRUNCH BRUNCH BRUNCH…
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