BLOG » FOR DUDES ONLY- how to FOR SURE blow it with a great girl: (PART 3- READER SUBMISSION)
Dear Alexi,
Thought you might want to hear what a fucking jerk I’ve been dealing with, and how BLIND I’ve been.
Any one or two of the following behaviors probably should have been enough for me to get the hint, ‘THIS GUY IS NOT A GOOD GUY, and he doesn’t really care about you.’
But for some reason I saw a goodness in him that i thought would come out eventually, a maturity.
Sadly, it never did and I had to cut myself off from this addiction. In the end this probably says more about me than him.
WARNING SIGNS HE MIGHT BE A TOTAL D-BAG:
1. He fell asleep on the first date.
2. He fucked up your name on the second date (this is after he has seen your breasts)
3. He consistently texts you at 2am, and rarely during the day (other than to complain about his job)
4. He asks YOU to hang out and then bails on the plans, even though it was his idea.
5. He makes jokes about “Women’s Rights”
6. He hates Beyonce. (because shes too much of a FEMINIST)
7. He is shorter than you.
8. When you tell him initially that you are not orgasming during sex and that you need him to be more “generous”, he is hostile and immature.
9. He has catch phrases that he says all the time. Ant they’re not so funny.
10. He refers to himself as a BRO in almost every post with his friends on facebook.
11. He likes to “Rage”
12. He has the culinary taste of a twelve year old.
13. He made you watch “The Room”, even though you were bored out of your mind.
14. He posts things on your wall about Fox News.
15. He says he doesn’t remember how many people he’s slept with.
16. He made you see “Jackass 3D” in theatres on a date, even though that’s what he wanted to see…not you.
17. He only called you baby or told you that you were pretty when he was drunk.
18. He had a Halloween party, and though you’d been hanging out for months, he lied to you about it. then asked you to help him with his costume.
19. He speaks constantly about his career ambitions but when it comes to yours he barely listens.
20. He made fun of homeless people on the street.
21. He called them ‘boobies”
22. After many months of consistent hanging out and dates, he never introduced you to his friends. Even though you asked him to, and he had met some of yours.
23. The night before your birthday he texts and calls you from 3am to 7am, but on the day of your actual birthday he ignores you.
24. When you tell him you can’t do this anymore. He just says “ok”.
omg…what a douche
I’m afraid of saying I can’t do this anymore
DAMN … if he was any bit of a good f*ck or good looking dude it’d be sort of understandable to overlook the warning signs….. .. NVM–guy’s a total douche bag from day 1. lesson learned for you i hope!
Point 2 alone would be a very big stop sign…
we have ALL made these mistakes in judgement… chalk/chock (which one is it??) it up to a learning experience and move the F on.
There should be a “How NOT to blow it with a super hott babe: Dude Edition” (or girl, whatevz) I’m pretty sure they’re aware of what they’re doing, but there are still some hopefuls out there that need a little help!
#8
wow, he banged you on the 2nd date – what a cad
“7. He is shorter than you.”
Come on, stop it with this, girls. A friend of mine, my favourite person in the world, by far the best guy i know, is shorter than me and i’m not a tall girl.
i got 0 out of 24. not a douche. as a result. beautifully and happily 3 months married to my greatest love ever.
Although I agree with you on all the points, I agree with b on number 7. My sister married a guy about 3 inches shorter than her and he is a great guy. He is so good to her. It pretty superficial to judge a person by their physical attributes especially one they have no control over. Just because he is short doesn’t mean he isn’t the sweetest guy ever.
watching the room is a dealmaker, not breaker
definitely agree that there should be a dude edition.
wow i actually DID date a guy that i can tick all the boxes on with this
yawn.
…………………………………………..
all are legit except the reference to Tommy Wiseau’s film.
wow, sounds like someone I once dated BUT dam girl, glad you saw the light & dropped him!
You’re in the right for just about everything listed. That is, except for lucky number 13. If you’ve got a good/warped (the two are synonimous) sense of humor, The Room will make your night.
re: #21: I like “boobies” a lot more than “tits”, but I like “bhubies” (a la RHWoNJ) most of all…
The girl who wrote this is to blame for obvious reasons. No self respecting woman would put up with most of these things happening once or twice, let alone this massive list of Douchebag tendencies. A few that stand out
-you showed him your breasts on the 1st date, did you really expect him to treat you like a lady? When that happens to me, I know you’re not Dating material, let alone girlfriend material. It’s a just for fun thing, plain and simple.
-If he hates Beyonce, he’s an idiot. You should have left his life immediately after that conversation.
-The “shorter than you” thing has spiteful bitch written all over it. You thought he was tall enough to get with after the first date after all. Leave the judging based off looks to the douchebags.
-He made fun of homeless people? What kind of person does that? Oh yea, A DOUCHEBAG. This didn’t raise a red flag or 7?
-It sounds like he never took you seriously. As a matter of fact, you probably knew that pretty quickly and never did anything about it. A little pointer: If you don’t tell him to get his shit together, HE WONT EVER CHANGE.
*Guys know when they are treating a girl right or wrong. If a guy REALLY likes you, you will have no doubt about it. He will make you feel the way you ought to. The sad part is that there are so many guys out there that wish they could treat you like a princess the way you deserve to be treated, but they lack the social skills / looks / money to even make you bat an eyelid. Those are the ones that need some help, not the douchebags.
You have 24 things listed here. How in the hell did he make it past the first six (whichever 6 came first)? Every bit of this totally sucks but damn girl(s)! Either get some self esteem, or take off the rose colored glasses. Put the douches in check or bounce their asses out of your life. Learn that lesson young! No one of us (not even me) is worth all this.
Why so much hate on short dudes? Got no control over that
Wow…yeah that’s all I got.
“There’s a point at which you just get old, turn thirty, and it becomes impossible to remember your bank account code, graduate student ID number, and the sum that equates to exactly how many women were once slept with.” That’s what I usually say…
Ah this is so true it makes me want to punch someone in the face! Although I find guys wanting to rage pretty adorable. It’s sort of their equivalent to dancing school..right?
I will not have The Room disparaged by any list.
What the hell? And on a more coherent note, I agree wholheartedly with Will [comment 19].
She’s right. it says more about her than it does about him. if someone treats you badly and you stick around thats your problem. good that shes finally kicked him to the curb. next time she meets a d-bag hopefully that process will happen faster. btw, some of the things she notes to point out that he is a d-bag are kinda petty. some of those points such as his height, his 12 yo culinary tastes (hey everyone likes mcdonalds now and then!), making jokes about womens rights (i bet she laughs her head of when female comics make fun of misogynistic men) make her look reaaallllyyy petty and just reinforce the point she made earlier: this says more about her than it does about him. this girl is kinda annoying. sorry.
He hates Beyonce. (because shes too much of a FEMINIST) – LOL. Oh my god. That killed me.
That’s like not liking peter pan because he is too mature.
At that alone I would run for cover!
great list! this is important because us boys ain’t got no manual.
to ‘t’ hey, i woulnd’t consider this a manual. i think this girl has her own issues to sort out. check out comment no 19, Will. He knows the score.
I have take issue with the following:
-11. He likes to “Rage”
So, maybe I spent too much time listening to Municipal Waste and maybe I’ve shotgunned more beers than anybody would really care to admit, bur raging totally has its place. When you’re on a pontoon boat, for instance. Or if you’re watching that movie Thrashin’ with the sound off and your buddy comes over with some Bones Brigade LP and a case and some pizzas and you haven’t already made plans with your girlfriend that day.
-16. He made you see “Jackass 3D” in theatres on a date, even though that’s what he wanted to see…not you.
You agreed to go along to a shitty movie. I believe that one’s on you.
-24. When you tell him you can’t do this anymore. He just says “ok”.
What? Good. Your break-up with some shit-show of a boyfriend was clean. At least it wasn’t “Ok, bro.”
“Raging” isn’t that like some over-privileged thirty-year-old rich “kid’s” way of announcing he’s driving into downtown L.A. to get retardedly drunk for no apparent reason? Too bad that’s what I did when I was twenty, otherwise I’d be a liquid millionaire right now…
this guy sounds like an asshole
but i dated a guy that was shorter then me once, and even though i thought about it constantly and it bugged me a lot it was the best sex ive ever had, ever, so you cant base a relationship on height
A. “The Room” is awesome! Sorry, it is.
B. You deserve a prize for your patience if you went out with a guy like that for so long.
hating beyonce should be a plus. sorry but i can’t stand that biaaaaaatch
NUMBER 4 IS ON POINT AND HAS HAPPENED TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY AMAZING, INTELLIGENT, GORGEOUS FRIENDS AND MYSELF AS WELL. THE WORST!!
Susanna!! we need you on the short guys team cheer squad!!! How do I get in touch?
i agree wtih Pablito666! THE ROOM IS AWESOME! that’s the only cool thing about this dude.
Comment # 19 nailed it. Just about everybody makes mistakes and goes on the occasional first date and realizes it’s wrong. Many people give it a second chance before realizing it’s wrong. Beyond that, you really have to question why you are ignoring the obvious.
I’ve met too many people from both genders who date someone based on how desirable they think someone is in the eyes of their friends/peers… not on their own subjective assessment of suitability. Who you invite into (and keep in) your inner circle has to meet YOUR TRUE wants and needs, not someone else’s 30-second assessment or your spur-of-the-moment standard of hotness.
Eh… yes, these are key signs of douche-y behavior.
But a majority of the above sounds like the actions of a typical booty-call type of relationship, with one person trying to making into some kind of actual relationship.
No harm in trying – sometimes it work out. But be aware/know when “enough is enough” and when to move on. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time.
As Samantha Jones elegantly puts it: “Carrie, you can’t date your f*ck buddy”
-Sex and the City Season 2 Episode 14
1) a message to most of the 40 commenters so far: GET OVER YOURSELF! everything is NOT about you. get off this girls back just because you’ve failed one of the tests shes outlined. yea, i get it – youre short and youre butthurt about it. yea, you hate beyonce too. great – but no need to comment about how angryyyyy you are wah wah wah. try, just try, for once not to think about yourself and to not take everything so personally and realize that this girl has obviously gone through some shit storm of a ‘relationship’ and is just blowing steam by making catty remarks. she obviously didnt care that he was short but his dick moves have justified her in being as bitchy as she possibly can be to him. and you know what, she probably doesnt like beyonce either, but hey, anything to take a dig at him.
2) just because youre a prude, doesnt make her a slut for showing her tits on the first date.
3) people need to make mistakes to learn from them. sorry, not everyone was born with the wisdom, self esteem, or heck, even self respect you all were born with (get off your high horses). as amanitapunk said – shes AFRAID of saying ‘i cant do this anymore’ and thats the case for so many people. about to get hyperbolic on your asses –> think about battered women. would you really blame them because they havent wisened up after the 2nd, 10th, 100th time theyve been hit by their partners? no. you wouldnt.
in conclusion, stop being pricks.
Haha, I can’t believe this dragged on for months… The first/second dates seemed to be good indicators of what a disaster it was going to be. Hope it opened your eyes and that you won’t be wasting your time on such a prick in the future.
the ball is in your court.
Yeah, but all this had to happen for you to know. For next time. So when you meet a really great dude you’ll appreciate him so much more. #glasshalffull?
the room is great
Amen, Marty.
There are relationships that drag on and on, EVEN with all the warning signs. It can be really easy and convenient to justify it to yourself that you should put up with it if you care about them, that it’s “not that bad” and there are good parts, etc.
Think about it, how many times have you stayed in a relationship like this and only in hindsight realized how foolish you were?
I sure hope this is taking into consideration more than one “jabroner” otherwise these traits should scream THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER non-douche bag out there who actually have some taste.
The Room > this chick
i do all those things
Out of all the 24 qualities you so eloquently wrote down, my ex fits AT LEAST 20 of those. Reader who submitted this, hopefully you pulled the plug well before I did. Nearly three years of my life consisted of him hovering around. Well, NO MORE. i can tell you whole heartedly and honestly, the jobroni’s who fit this description are definitely not worth it.
I like the “The killing Room”…
calling them boobies is ALWAYS acceptable!