BLOG » FOR DUDES ONLY- how to FOR SURE blow it with a great girl: (PART 4)
(continued from HERE…….)
1. show up half an hour early for your first date. then give her shit for not being ready to go.
2. wear flip flops on your first date while taking her to dinner at a fancy restaurant.
3. always be covered in cat hair.
4. love your dog more than you will ever love her. be uber vocal about this too!
5. keep using the word ‘networking’. People LOVE that!
6. shake her hand as limply as possible.
7. have really sweaty hands all the time.
8. tell her what to wear for dates.
9. only ever say waz-uuup (not ironically) instead of saying hello.
10. tell her that you usually only date girls in their late teens, but for HER you’ll make an exception!
11. Don’t have a car and have no aspirations to get one.
12. Ask her to give you rides all the time.
13. Don’t know how to swim.
14. Pee in public on the first date/the majority of the time you know her- which won’t be long.
15. Be a belligerent drunk.
16. Don’t have goals.
17. Let your parents support you while your days fly by and all you do is go on facebook/twitter/and talk a lot of shit.
18. Play video games like crazy.
19. Keep your video games in the bedroom and skip sex every night to play one more game or ten.
20. Complain about how your hair is thinning.
21. Tell her you don’t eat carbs.
22. Don’t let her touch your tummy and if she DOES- say ‘no. I’m fat. Stop.’ Even though you’re rail thin.
23. Tell her you don’t own a TV. AND be VERY self righteous about it!
24. Keep a bong in your car.
25. Yell at homeless people whenever you see them. refer to them as beggars. and when they ask you for money, either spit on them or yell ‘what do you want, my DEBIT card? Jesus!’
26. Eat lots of McDonald’s and drink lots of soda!
click HERE for part 1
click HERE for part 2