You are soo rightfully true. One of the reason girls have issues with their bodies and intimacy with others is because they don’t start from the “home base,” and work their way out.
Amen to this! Even Oprah agrees. Girls need to learn that they can give pleasure to themselves, and that they don’t have to depend on a guy for “fun times”.
I will second all of Thomas’ yes’s. OMG, I masterbate every freakin day. For someone who has a supernatural sex drive, I am always ready to go. Married, but wife isn’t really into sex all that much and I am a freak of the week; so what’s a man to do? And with all the toys and devices available, for which I own none at the moment, you would have an extraorgasmic EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!!!!!
But woman or man, make yourself cum at least once a day (twice, if you don’t have anyone to ride or ride you;)) You will smile more and wont be such a grouch.
UGH you don’t. even. know. Countlessly I’ve started clitorbating in the tub only to quickly grab for the soap/ dunk myself in the water (and nearly drown) so my sister won’t see what I was doing a fraction of a second ago. Yes, my sister and mom and I are really open with each other and as a result we neeeever knock on doors, we just walk in. Open-ness aside, those stunts just KILL the mood.I can’t and won’t continue after because for one, I almost died of embarassment and two, it’s just not sexy anymore after getting “your alone time” interrupted. ANYWAYS,it’s 2011 and I haven’t clitor-bated since like last summer.
omg masterbation is a mortal sin,mormons believe that if you masterbate too much you will lose interrest in other spiritual persuits like praying to jesus christ for forgiveness for masterbating too much.this is called a vicious cycle sorry i have to go pray now to complete the cycle…and so it goes,just another crazy day.
This should be spoken as loudly as possible and who cares about all the men giggling, it’s a serious way men dominate women by making them more ignorant that needs to be overcome
Is spelling “masturbate” as “masterbate” a new meme? Because, if so, why not go all the way and call it “Misterbating” (dudes) or “Missybating” (chicks)… ?
Having said all that: great advice for starters! However, deeper into the game and after you’re in a happy long-term thing, building up a few days’ worth of sexual pressure, before pouncing on one’s beloved, at twilight in the foyer, is much better for the sex life than blowing it all down the drain (or into one’s ancestral cashmere spunk-sock).
“Yes, my sister and mom and I are really open with each other and as a result we neeeever knock on doors, we just walk in.”
Go to the hardware store, buy a simple little hook lock, install it on the bathroom door and discover the joys of privacy… it’s a fundamental Human Right! Especially when Number Two-ing or Clam-Waxing.
Thanks Alexi, laughed my head off.
Caught one of my daughters (at the age 6) exploring herself. She did not know and never has I just left giggling thinking to myself “wasn’t this suppose to happen in her teens?” But then her older brother brought his first date home at the age 5 so nothing surprises me anymore.
If you are comfortable with your body life runs a bit smoother. If you have hang ups in that area it will always put a wall between any relationship.
What’s the big deal? A girl who cant pleasure herself is like a fish who cant swim sooner or later things fall into place and bingo bango the girl finds a new use for the dettachable shower head. No sin committed an angel didn’t lose his fucking wings,so just chill and be happy your not Mormon.
Masturbation should be as common as farting,pissing,sleeping,eating,and shitting.That’s all i have to say on that subject now let’s turn to fixing the economy. Priorities people!
There should be a masturbators annonymous, “hi my name is (insert name here)and i’m a chronic masturbator I wont stand up cause i got a major stiffy and i dont wanna pitch a tent in front of the women folk. It’s jerking off people !you didnt just kill the fucking pope or rape mother Theresa God aint gonna give a fuck.Look what’s more important 10,000 japanese killed in a quake or Billy in Who the fuck cares, california jacking off? Priorities people!! Now go love yourself.
Why we (men) masturbate this little Irish limerick sums it up nicely,”There once was a man from Nantucket, whose cock was so long he could suck it, wiping his chin he said with a grin if my ass were a cunt i would fuck it!” Happy st. patty’s day! Erin go braugh!suck on that bitches.
Also, I LOVE that you said “clitoris” with a long ‘o’ (like me!) because my boyfriend and everyone else around me insists on another pronunciation of the word. Their way kind of rhymes with ‘syphilis’. CLITTERIS <– it would look like that.
Finally found some one funnier than alexi the dutchess of york peppermint patties,her name is Kate Olsen,she’s on IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA,SHE’S MILK SHOOTING OUT OF YOUR NOSE FUNNY.WHAT HER MONDAY NITES ON COMEDY CENTRAL.REALLY.
I dont believe frank has ever had the pleasure of a serious girlfriend or maybe even has never experienced a confident woman without paying for it… hence his stupid trolling circa Aol days
Pascal, whoa back away from the “AD HOMINEM” attacks babe sorry i passed down judgements,i’ve had several relationships and i’m still in one to this very day and that’s why i call alexi on her pod cast,she has really helped me,sorry i come across as an asshole.I’m a vulgar man it’s something i’m working on trust me. Again i apologize to any person who’s feeling i may have or will hurt in the past, present and or future. I will keep a civil toungue.Can we all just get along? I’m not a bad guy…really.Now can we be friends? Frankly speaking Frank from Utah
be true to your self coz i am
i have been raped comming from school i have been sexualyabused buy a guy and rubed on at a dance club in america and also raped buy lesbians and thay used toys on me so i have been throught alot in my life and i got over it!
be true to your self coz i am
i have been raped comming from school i have been sexualyabused buy a guy and rubed on at a dance club in america and also raped buy lesbians and thay used toys on me so i have been throught alot in my life and i got over it!
it’s true that male masturbation is a sin, but we ladies are usually just talking about clitorbating, stimulating our clitoris with our fingers or with a vibrator in order to give ourselves orgasms. the clitoris plays no part in intercourse, and our orgasms are not spilling any seed. as long as we don’t engage in pen, which most of us don’t, our orgasms are pure, holy, and to be honest they are effing hot. trust me, jesus loves it when we fuck our clits. its a beautiful thing. sometimes i even call out to God in prayer while I do it.
Ill second this. Not only does orgasiming make my day better, it also gives me an awesome glow……. yey for masterbaters!
You are soo rightfully true. One of the reason girls have issues with their bodies and intimacy with others is because they don’t start from the “home base,” and work their way out.
Amen to this! Even Oprah agrees. Girls need to learn that they can give pleasure to themselves, and that they don’t have to depend on a guy for “fun times”.
Amen again! The world would be brighter and happier if every woman made herself have an orgasm.
AMEN & wheres your jumper from, i love it!
I will second all of Thomas’ yes’s. OMG, I masterbate every freakin day. For someone who has a supernatural sex drive, I am always ready to go. Married, but wife isn’t really into sex all that much and I am a freak of the week; so what’s a man to do? And with all the toys and devices available, for which I own none at the moment, you would have an extraorgasmic EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!!!!!
But woman or man, make yourself cum at least once a day (twice, if you don’t have anyone to ride or ride you;)) You will smile more and wont be such a grouch.
I got some stares from people passing by “make yourself cum, make the world happy” but whatever, this video was extremely entertaining:)
“I wanna go and have some fun. Go where the action is… (Oh my god there’s radiation in my JIZZ…)
UGH you don’t. even. know. Countlessly I’ve started clitorbating in the tub only to quickly grab for the soap/ dunk myself in the water (and nearly drown) so my sister won’t see what I was doing a fraction of a second ago. Yes, my sister and mom and I are really open with each other and as a result we neeeever knock on doors, we just walk in. Open-ness aside, those stunts just KILL the mood.I can’t and won’t continue after because for one, I almost died of embarassment and two, it’s just not sexy anymore after getting “your alone time” interrupted. ANYWAYS,it’s 2011 and I haven’t clitor-bated since like last summer.
Wow learn something new everyday,interresting.
omg masterbation is a mortal sin,mormons believe that if you masterbate too much you will lose interrest in other spiritual persuits like praying to jesus christ for forgiveness for masterbating too much.this is called a vicious cycle sorry i have to go pray now to complete the cycle…and so it goes,just another crazy day.
no wonder my sister took sooooo long in the shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This should be spoken as loudly as possible and who cares about all the men giggling, it’s a serious way men dominate women by making them more ignorant that needs to be overcome
reminds me of a Divinyls song
yes…. yes….. YESSSSS!!! OH MY GOD!!!! ……bored now.
Is spelling “masturbate” as “masterbate” a new meme? Because, if so, why not go all the way and call it “Misterbating” (dudes) or “Missybating” (chicks)… ?
Having said all that: great advice for starters! However, deeper into the game and after you’re in a happy long-term thing, building up a few days’ worth of sexual pressure, before pouncing on one’s beloved, at twilight in the foyer, is much better for the sex life than blowing it all down the drain (or into one’s ancestral cashmere spunk-sock).
“Yes, my sister and mom and I are really open with each other and as a result we neeeever knock on doors, we just walk in.”
Go to the hardware store, buy a simple little hook lock, install it on the bathroom door and discover the joys of privacy… it’s a fundamental Human Right! Especially when Number Two-ing or Clam-Waxing.
Thanks Alexi, laughed my head off.
Caught one of my daughters (at the age 6) exploring herself. She did not know and never has I just left giggling thinking to myself “wasn’t this suppose to happen in her teens?” But then her older brother brought his first date home at the age 5 so nothing surprises me anymore.
If you are comfortable with your body life runs a bit smoother. If you have hang ups in that area it will always put a wall between any relationship.
What’s the big deal? A girl who cant pleasure herself is like a fish who cant swim sooner or later things fall into place and bingo bango the girl finds a new use for the dettachable shower head. No sin committed an angel didn’t lose his fucking wings,so just chill and be happy your not Mormon.
Everytime a girl cums an angel gets its wings!
It’s a wonderful life
Stephen my boy just say jacking off,ok, Wisenheimer?
Masturbation should be as common as farting,pissing,sleeping,eating,and shitting.That’s all i have to say on that subject now let’s turn to fixing the economy. Priorities people!
Hahahahaha, Frank’s the best!
urrrgh but i try so hard and i just …cant.
you make it sound so easy.
There should be a masturbators annonymous, “hi my name is (insert name here)and i’m a chronic masturbator I wont stand up cause i got a major stiffy and i dont wanna pitch a tent in front of the women folk. It’s jerking off people !you didnt just kill the fucking pope or rape mother Theresa God aint gonna give a fuck.Look what’s more important 10,000 japanese killed in a quake or Billy in Who the fuck cares, california jacking off? Priorities people!! Now go love yourself.
Why we (men) masturbate this little Irish limerick sums it up nicely,”There once was a man from Nantucket, whose cock was so long he could suck it, wiping his chin he said with a grin if my ass were a cunt i would fuck it!” Happy st. patty’s day! Erin go braugh!suck on that bitches.
IS FRANK SINGLE ; )
shut the fuck up frank you are incredibly annoying
Take that as a compliment,YOMAMA SO black that at night school they always mark her absent.
Bahhh! I love this. It’s so true.
Also, I LOVE that you said “clitoris” with a long ‘o’ (like me!) because my boyfriend and everyone else around me insists on another pronunciation of the word. Their way kind of rhymes with ‘syphilis’. CLITTERIS <– it would look like that.
ALL WE ARE SAYING IS GIVE PEACE A CHANCE! WAIT JOHN LENNON SAID GIVE “PEAS” A CHANCE, THEY TASTE GREAT.WITH VELVEETA.
WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE? WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS? BECAUSE [THEY] CAN.
Frank is an obvious avid supporter/contributor/masturbater. Unfortunately he isn’t making people here very happy.
YIKES,frankly speaking
Remember girls “I” cums before “U”.
Finally found some one funnier than alexi the dutchess of york peppermint patties,her name is Kate Olsen,she’s on IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA,SHE’S MILK SHOOTING OUT OF YOUR NOSE FUNNY.WHAT HER MONDAY NITES ON COMEDY CENTRAL.REALLY.
FRANK IS SCARING ME.
I dont believe frank has ever had the pleasure of a serious girlfriend or maybe even has never experienced a confident woman without paying for it… hence his stupid trolling circa Aol days
Alexi, you are amazing *hug*
Pascal, whoa back away from the “AD HOMINEM” attacks babe sorry i passed down judgements,i’ve had several relationships and i’m still in one to this very day and that’s why i call alexi on her pod cast,she has really helped me,sorry i come across as an asshole.I’m a vulgar man it’s something i’m working on trust me. Again i apologize to any person who’s feeling i may have or will hurt in the past, present and or future. I will keep a civil toungue.Can we all just get along? I’m not a bad guy…really.Now can we be friends? Frankly speaking Frank from Utah
Pascal you seem like a good person,i was wrong,in the future i’ll be better.
Wow ,rough crowd seen nicer people at lyinchings,book burnings and death to america rallys.:(
It’s okay to talk about it, it’s okay to do it. Why do some people make it such a big deal?
Way to go Alexi.
And girls, warm water stream. Figure it out and get it done. Longest and most pleasurable O you can have, I promise.
I feel you jess!!! what if you just *cant* get yourself there?
fuck me like a cartoon
Just like “Greenday” says ,”when masturbtion’s lost it’s thrill then your fuck is over”.
“which is that hole down there or whatevs”
hahahahahaha
be true to your self coz i am
i have been raped comming from school i have been sexualyabused buy a guy and rubed on at a dance club in america and also raped buy lesbians and thay used toys on me so i have been throught alot in my life and i got over it!
be true to your self coz i am
i have been raped comming from school i have been sexualyabused buy a guy and rubed on at a dance club in america and also raped buy lesbians and thay used toys on me so i have been throught alot in my life and i got over it!
i hated it. i never cumed.
it’s true that male masturbation is a sin, but we ladies are usually just talking about clitorbating, stimulating our clitoris with our fingers or with a vibrator in order to give ourselves orgasms. the clitoris plays no part in intercourse, and our orgasms are not spilling any seed. as long as we don’t engage in pen, which most of us don’t, our orgasms are pure, holy, and to be honest they are effing hot. trust me, jesus loves it when we fuck our clits. its a beautiful thing. sometimes i even call out to God in prayer while I do it.