BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 59):

1. start ONLY referring to Los Angeles as ‘tinseltown’.

2. if you can’t afford to tip, don’t bother going out. Do it right or don’t do it at all.

3. boys: wake your girlfriend up by going down on her. She’ll LOVE it… even if she doesn’t love YOU!

4. girls: when preparing for an epic sexy-time rendezvous, always make sure your sexual lounging attire IE: slips, onesies, silk robes, and/or bra and panty sets are clean and clear of any semen from previous suitors. It could really kill the mood.

5. don’t forget: you’re dying! there’s no time to waste. do as much as you can!

6. there’s nothing sexier than a guy WITHOUT a facebook page.

7. if you bite your toenails, don’t wear open toed shoes. Wait, hold up… you bite your toenails?

8. wake up everyday and do at LEAST one thing that will get you closer to your goal/making your dreams come true.

9. stop asking/don’t ask people to see your play, stand-up or one woman show! It’s totes embarrassing and uncomfortable for everyone! If you’re really my friend, then why are you making me do this?!

10. always remember to look up at the sky, the clouds, the moon,  the stars! then text a cute boy in another state or someone who might even live in the same city as you to ‘look at the moon.’ it’s UUBER romantic!

By: boycrazy on April 12, 2011
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40 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 59):”

  1. Sonia, on April 12th, 2011 at 1:42 am Said:

    love 6. there’s nothing sexier than a guy WITHOUT a facebook page.


  2. awesome possum, on April 12th, 2011 at 1:54 am Said:

    YES!!! all men/boys/dudes should live by #3 and #6

    THANK YOU!


  3. HeyitsAlexP, on April 12th, 2011 at 5:11 am Said:

    As a former waitress, amen to #2


  4. Sasha Lane, on April 12th, 2011 at 5:49 am Said:

    I lol’d at number 7, one of my friends totally does that…and in front of me. At least she can touch her toes? Haha

    I agree with number six completely! Although seeing their profile before a date can help..


  5. Erin Fitz, on April 12th, 2011 at 9:59 am Said:

    @HeyitsAlexP- agreed!


  6. Coco, on April 12th, 2011 at 10:21 am Said:

    Ugh, #2 people, #2 SO HARD!!!

    Love, your waitress friend,
    Coco


  7. Kathleen, on April 12th, 2011 at 10:31 am Said:

    Totally agree with 2. C’mon people!


  8. Tanya, on April 12th, 2011 at 11:21 am Said:

    #3!!!!!!

    and #10:D cheesy yet adorable!


  9. mmmtard, on April 12th, 2011 at 1:26 pm Said:

    #6.

    Ah, yes. The faggotry of social networks. Alpha men don’t write bios or request the friendship of their peers.

    Hardcore motherfuckers don’t e-mail, they don’t text, and they certainly wouldn’t be caught dead “poking.” Real men show up on your doorstep (unannounced, obviously) with a bottle of tequila and a tube of Astroglide and tell you it’s time to party.

    In fact, if you’re a dude using the internet for anything other than looking at porn or finding a reliable Bail Bondsman, you’re probably a big old pussy.

    In reality, that sexy “too cool for school” guy you’re so sprung for probably doesn’t have a Facebook page because each of the six girls in his rotation would expect to be “in a relationship” with him and consequences to his game would be disastrous.


  10. jazz, on April 12th, 2011 at 1:48 pm Said:

    # 3,6,7 <3 blindleading the blind always makes my day thankz Alexi


  11. zsaara, on April 12th, 2011 at 3:50 pm Said:

    i love your blog! this is such a great post.
    don’t miss out on my awesome giveaway HERE! xox :)   love, zsara


  12. zsaara, on April 12th, 2011 at 3:51 pm Said:

    i love your blog! this is such a great post.
    don’t miss out on my awesome giveaway HERE! xox :)   love, zsara xxx


  13. ......, on April 12th, 2011 at 4:36 pm Said:

    @mmmtard

    your response was more entertaining than alexi’s last 10 blind leading the blind (s).

    thank god for you.


  14. Dotty, on April 12th, 2011 at 9:37 pm Said:

    I’ll take a #5 with a side of #8 slathered in a #4 and hold the #1.


  15. Lauren, on April 13th, 2011 at 12:00 am Said:

    # 3 and #10. Sooooo perfect. =)


  16. BLU LAMBO, on April 13th, 2011 at 2:21 am Said:

    @MMMTARD

    U DA GREATEST! XOXO


  17. Carlo, on April 13th, 2011 at 10:15 am Said:

    @ #9 We’ll have to remember to check out your BLOG next time, on FACEBOOK, and your PODCAST, and all the other crap you PUMP on here for your Two Dimensional TINSELTOWN friends… By far more important than any PLAY.


  18. pj rourk, on April 13th, 2011 at 3:32 pm Said:

    this blog is the vortex of mediocracy the paradigm of stupidity:alexi wasser’s blog,alexi wasser’s boy crazy radio blog pod bullshit. She is the height of media hyped fecal matter tossed at us the gullible insecure dumbasses who kiss her boney white ass.


  19. pj rourk, on April 13th, 2011 at 3:33 pm Said:

    LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BITCHES!


  20. pj rourk, on April 13th, 2011 at 3:34 pm Said:

    OH YEAH, FUCK YOU MMMTARD!


  21. name, on April 13th, 2011 at 10:22 pm Said:

    @pj rourk

    i think you meant mediocrity, not mediocracy, just while we’re on the criticism train. and why are you so hostile?! if this blog is such a vortex of all things bad why did you type it into your address bar and hit enter?! jesus fucking christ people!

    @mmmtard

    i don’t think she was insinuating that it is super macho and all those things you mentioned in your rant, because if you go through all of the boys that she’s featured on here as babes, they aren’t exactly epitomizing macho. i think she meant it’s sexy because they are out in the world having lives rather than trying to make it look like they do on the internet.

    anyways, number 8 is a very good little nugget of advice that everyone should be really stoked on.


  22. frank, on April 14th, 2011 at 12:15 pm Said:

    maybe a vortex of compromised talent,yeah that’s what pj ment?


  23. pj rourk, on April 14th, 2011 at 12:49 pm Said:

    Fuck all of y’alls


  24. frank, on April 14th, 2011 at 12:51 pm Said:

    Ok that was constructive… i think pj has a vortex in his brain,n’est pas?


  25. Steven Augustine, on April 14th, 2011 at 1:34 pm Said:

    This AW woman is a lightning-rod for online semi-illiterate rage and closeted sexual frustration from various weights and genders and yet she never appears to lose her cool: bravo, AW woman!

    The (duh)masses are so used to being flattered by cynical advertisers who covet those grubby, FUPA-tainted dollas (yeah, that’s right, you’re all beautiful, brilliant and on the verge of making a fortune!) that a little frankness blows their tiny minds, apparently. (Duh)masses, if it pisses you off, stop whining and start the Righteous Counter-Blog of the (Duh)masses! Post pictures of vomit-inducing FUPAS with glorious anger and pride!

    Just stop crying like big fat smelly cotton-candy-clutching forgotten retards in an empty parking lot at the fairgrounds at sunset! It’s gettin’ auld!


  26. Gia, on April 14th, 2011 at 3:09 pm Said:

    This is COMPLETELY whack… on ALL fronts…


  27. DIRTY VIRGIN, on April 14th, 2011 at 5:53 pm Said:

    i pretty much always agree with whatever you’re saying.

    i wish no one had a facebook!! it just makes life that much more uncomfortable…and i always find myself digging TOO deep!


  28. pjrourk, on April 15th, 2011 at 12:25 pm Said:

    Hey steven can you get your head out of alexi’s ass long enough to listen to the moronic dribble she drools out to dumbasses like you? Fucking brown noser,and hey dirty virgin WTF grow a brain you idiot Alexi is a construct of Madison Avenue she’s not real not like you or i,she probably just laughs her skinny ass off,while she stirs the pot to get you to react to stupid shit she writes.


  29. frank, on April 15th, 2011 at 12:37 pm Said:

    OMG alexi you are a brave soul,putting yourself out there like that! Talk about, “suffering the slings and arrows of outrages fortune!”(Hamlet)Alexi i admire your ballsy takes right on sister!Stay brave and dont let the bastards get you down(pj)bye.


  30. Steven Augustine, on April 15th, 2011 at 1:45 pm Said:

    “she probably just laughs her skinny ass off,while she stirs the pot to get you to react to stupid shit she writes”

    Who do you think’s been doing the most “reacting” around here lately, PJ? Like, you know: a dozen “comments” on three consecutive threads? Who’s been putting on the sad-n-crazy show for all to see? Hmmm? Come on now, PJ. Concentrate. We know you can do it…


  31. Semi-Ryukyu, on April 15th, 2011 at 8:21 pm Said:

    I agree with most, but #6 is iffy. Some of us guys have had a life and have friends that live all over the world and don’t always have smartphones. So Facebook is where we get to see how they’re doing, see pics of their partners/kids/stuff and don’t lose them in the shuffle… like happened in olden times of yore.

    If a dude seems perpetually camped out at Facebook, however, that’s kinda fishy. And sad.


  32. pjrourk, on April 16th, 2011 at 1:59 pm Said:

    HUH? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!Dont bogard the bong,Alexi!


  33. pjrourk, on April 16th, 2011 at 2:00 pm Said:

    Fuck you it’s a free country !


  34. Elisa, on April 18th, 2011 at 9:35 pm Said:

    #6 is soo true… i have a thing about facebook and guys now ’cause i recently had a dream that a future boyfriend breaks up with me cause i took too long to change my facebook status to ‘in a relationship’ and i was like whatever then, ugh. #3 would be nice too. lol


  35. our youth, on April 19th, 2011 at 4:53 am Said:

    Number 6 is SO TRUE.


  36. Lady Blue, on April 21st, 2011 at 1:10 am Said:

    Good one Alexi!


  37. Lady Blue, on April 21st, 2011 at 1:11 am Said:

    And I agree. Mmmtard’s comment was mind-blowing.


  38. Lauren, on April 21st, 2011 at 7:23 am Said:

    Awww, Alexi — I love #10


  39. Toni Alayne, on April 27th, 2011 at 12:11 am Said:

    Ummm… #4… I get rid of all old lingerie after each break-up.. definitely dont want to have to explain the rouge crust on the neck line…

    and on a sort-of related side note, a boy dripped lube onto my cowboy boots once and it’s still there.. not getting rid of the boots! plus, the oily stain makes for great “getting to know you” conversation! :)


  40. allison, on August 6th, 2011 at 3:39 pm Said:

    #6: but then how will we STALK HIM alexi??? hahaha


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