the blind leading the blind (part 63):

1. summer 2011 is ALL about crop tops! YES, side boob is still WAY in.. but we’re giving ourselves the option of under boob!

2. wearing a heather gray tee out to a club, or any place sweating will definitely occur, is a rookie mistake. it’s amateur hour USA. Always think two steps ahead.

3. eliminate the word ‘buddy’ from your vocabulary.

4. aim higher. No dude, HIGHER!

5. even if you’re only going into the bathroom to look at your face, check your teeth and your nostrils, apply lipstick,  and/or wash your hands… always look at the toilet to make sure nothing embarrassing is going on in there- cuz even if it wasn’t you (and it totes WASN’T, cuz girls don’t do gross stuff), you’re the one who’s gonna be walking out of that room, and whatever embarrassing nonsense is leftover in there- you’ll be to blame. So fuckin’ check yo-self before you wreck yo-self bro.

6. if you notice that the bathrooms at clubs you frequent start to have attendants in them- it means your life is getting better… or worse, depending on how you look at it.

7. girls! Don’t send nude pix! ever! they always end up where they shouldn’t! yes, even with your head cut out of the pic!

8. whenever you text ‘what are you doing?’ you might as well be saying ‘I want you to fuck me right now’. That’s why I always text ‘what are you up to?’ MUCH CLASSIER!

9. you know it’s serious when you move your computer into your girlfriend’s house and it’s NOT a laptop!

10. whenever you text or email something that’s questionable, shit talky, or potentially sketchy… ALWAYS remember its subject to be read/shown to everyone you NEVER wanted to see it!

DUDE OF THE DAY!

DUDE OF THE DAY: MR. FREEDMAN from isabella roland on Vimeo.

TONIGHT: ‘BOYCRAZY RADIO’!

CALL ME TONIGHT

WEDNESDAY May 25, 2011

DURING BOYCRAZY RADIO

9PM PST/12AM EST

JUST CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

DIAL:

1(646) 378-0649

OR CALL TOLL FREE:

1(877) 569-3588

We’ll bro out, role play,

& discuss ALL your love, sex, dating,

and life dilemmas!

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

A SORT OF REBUTTAL:

A few posts ago, i wrote about a boy I’d had an uuber awkward encounter with, entitled: ‘how to tell you’ve given the wrong guy a blow job’. he read it, we talked about it, and he said he could write his own blog post about our sexy time rendezvous from his point of view. to him, my interpretation of the night/his behavior wasn’t completely accurate or at least not the same as his.

so, in the interest of expanding my point of view and the overall point of view of this website….. i asked him to write a post about our night, from his perspective…

cuz it’s important to know there are always two sides to every story.

this what he wrote:

A SORT OF REBUTTAL

My heart sunk as I looked down to read the text from my best friend dropping “that boy crazy chick really hammered you” on me.

It had been days since our fumbling yet somewhat endearing yet somewhat terribly awkward intimate encounter and i had all but put
aside my inevitable fears of the very this very thing happening. I shook my head and started replaying the evening in question in my
head as I slowly navigated my way, heart thumping, to this post.

We’ve all done it, made a move at the intellectual actress/blogger/socialite with perfect skin and veritable oceans for eyes that you
drown in from even jpegs. A girl that seems impossibly interested in you to the point that every prodding question lends to a feeling
that you may already be conducting an interview for her site. Her almost intimidating confidence coupled with playful sarcasm and
hypnotizing stare instantly brings up my walls… oops well I guess this is first person now. I can handle her constant barrage of
flirtatious digs at my hip attire, living situation, employment, etc… I’m no cretin, and we give it back and forth ongoing throughout the
night… but the sensitive, dare I say self conscious, manchild inside me is making note of the things she notices, even if they are
meant in good humor, she noticed them enough to mention. Already subconsciously getting knocked down a peg or five masculinity
(those pegs being in short supply for me anyway) I compensate by turning off and shutting away my soft gooey center.

Nevertheless, things are progressing swimmingly, it’s exhilarating to feel matched on a cerebral level with a beauitiful girl, and as the
night progresses from nightclub, to afterparty, to her car, to my house, to my room, to my bed –my mind/id/libido/machismo all start
to talk at once. I felt that this could maybe be one of those impulsive/fun/modern sexual encounters that doesn’t emotionally maim
me but leaves both of us feeling like romantic if-not-a-bit-reckless libertines. But it could be a horrible trap, a bait and switch, where I
allow this siren into my holiest of holies only to be exposed as a lesser lover?

“Is this girl is the enemy?”
We are making out.
“She has probably been with far better lovers than me.”
We are removing clothes.
“I mean you don’t get a title like Boy Crazy for nothing right?”
We are making out without clothes.
“But I am a sweet lover, shes lucky to have me.”
We are not wearing clothes, that’s for sure.
“No sex yet though. That’s prudent right? OK but I still want to have fun.”

I present a brief oral report to her nether regions and then we switch and all the fellatio business begins. I’m fully floating, a fantasy has
come to fruition and I just want to focus on catching glimpses of her eyes looking up as this heavenly action is bestowed on my privates.
I feel triumphant, not in a conquering misogynistic way but in a “I have touched myself to her photo before and she likes me” way. I start
to feel like the event is climaxing and I somehow convey this to her, she responds something I don’t understand due to the cock in her
head and moments later the deed is done.

A SCOWL!
A SPIT!
REALLY?

Did I offend her? It was quite a statement just opening ones mouth and allowing all manners of saliva and seminal fluids to come
splattering down on my new sheets… I was instantly at odds with her and myself. No discussion. Being not really that offended
and in a sort of post-cum zombie stupor, legs still in tremor, I step back, and in the same sarcastic playful manner we had been
insulting each other all night, express disdain for her action and make a big show of retrieving a rag and sort of mopping up my mess.

She seemed amused and made mention of her desire to also orgasm, to which I was in favor. I needed to recharge though, especially
after the late night we spent previous this dalliance. Sitting half dazed trying to assemble words for a plan or an action or a.. and then
she hugs me, this is sweet! This is totally a not hurtful encounter, I feel a cold wet strand of hair caress my shoulder, and in the same
aforementioned tone, mention that she may have my seed in her bangs.

I lay down grotesquely, comfortably naked on my bed and start to consider how fucking perfect it will feel to have her body against
mine all night, if she wishes to stay and snuggle. I rise to see her dressing, discussing parking restrictions, searching for a shirt,
looking down at me every few moments with a not entirely discernible look. I suppose if she wishes to leave she must, I should
have said something, anything to her, but my male cum purged visage is allowing her have her way.

A few more sentences are exchanged, I decline to dress and leave my house to walk her to her car, a bit surprised she even asked.
I wasn’t a portrait of chivalry at this point but her blatantly confronting it felt bizarre considering my current fading state. But no matter,
she is entitled to these strong actions, she is a strong woman, and I knew (I didn’t) what I was getting myself into.

She leaves, we speak through text message the next few day things about things unrelated to the tryst.

Heart thumping, navigating to this luridly titled post…

…at least she said my private was big.

the blind leading the blind (part 62):

1. when the person you’re texting lets you have the last word by letting you be the last person to text; in actuality, THEY’RE the one getting the last word. FUCK!

2. necks are sexy. so put your hair up in a high bun already! geeze. HIGHER.

3. 2011 is all about friends. or was it ‘fucking’. shit, i can’t remember… i know it starts with an ‘f’. I’m pretty sure it’s ‘friends’. my bad. good luck. xo

4. the minute you hear a girl say ‘I have daddy issues’ run! Run for your life! Unless it’s me. cuz if it is, you should totally stick around/stay a second longer. I’m special and cool, i swear! We’ll get through this, I promise.

5. clementines really are the potato chips of the fruit community. you can’t have just one!

6. hey, stop calling everything couture! Just because you decided to start some shitty clothing company, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to call your gear ‘couture’!

7. driving to urth cafe with your friends, while blasting hip hop/hard rap and ever so subtly bopping your head back and forth is a SUREFIRE way to feel like you’re LIVING the show ‘entourage’. BUT the BEST part is choosing who gets to play turtle! I’m drama! I’m drama!

8. if your facial hair requires way too much upkeep, then it’s time to shave off ALL of your facial hair!

9. this summer is all about skinny girl margaritas.

10. if you don’t have a passport: get a passport! status wise, it like TOTALLY takes you up a notch or TEN!

TONIGHT: TOD ADRIAN WISENBAKER on ‘BOYCRAZY RADIO’!

TOD WISENBAKER ON ‘BOYCRAZY RADIO’ from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

CALL US TONIGHT

WEDNESDAY May 18, 2011

DURING BOYCRAZY RADIO

9PM PST/12AM EST

JUST CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

DIAL:

1(646) 378-0649

OR CALL TOLL FREE:

1(877) 569-3588

We’ll bro out, role play,

& discuss ALL your love, sex, dating,

and life dilemmas!

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio

DUDE OF THE DAY!

DUDE OF THE DAY: JACOB from isabella roland on Vimeo.

the blind leading the blind (part 61):

1. stop saying you’re an ‘aspiring (insert dream goal here)’. it’s fucking embarrassing as fuck! it immediately shows you are a pussy who does NOT believe in himself! just say you ARE an artist, singer, dancer, model, writer, actress, whatever. it’s ALREADY embarrassing! no need to make it MORE embarrassing.

2. dear Netti pots; thank you for being so simple yet effective! Who knew?! You did Netti pot, you did! And now I do too!

3. when in public, talking to someone you know, stop speaking so other people (strangers) can hear you! you’re clearly performing for everyone! It’s so annoying AND obvious! Plus, ONLY the dumbest shit comes out of your mouth when you do that! What a boner killer/clitoral hard-off bro! That’s straight up 7th grade style. squash that bullshizz.

4. when you invite someone into your house (like a date or a friend or whatevs) ALWAYS offer them something to drink you BONEHEAD! And give them a tour of your place too! Personally, whenever I get to the bedroom portion of my tour, I like to say ‘this is where the magic happens.’ I hope it doesn’t sound rote now.

5. its always the short guys you don’t expect to have a huge dick, that have a huge dick and are experts/wizard-masters at eating pussy. Actually NOT always. But it’s a numbers game, so gamble a little and I swear to god, you’ll be happily surprised at LEAST once.

6. if someone accuses you of cutting the tags out of your cheap forever twenty-one/h&m/what-have-you clothing because you’re ashamed of where you shop, just blame the cut out tags on their scratchiness factor. even though you totally DO cut them out cuz you’re embarrassed- which you shouldn’t be, but i get it!

7. it’s OK to admit that you DO in fact care… about whatever it is you care about! Rather than continue your fucking lame charade of leaning against a wall and pretending like you don’t. it’s 2011, admitting you care is the new not caring!

8. its ‘for all intents and purposes’ NOT ‘for all intensive purposes’. get it right bonehead!

9. uh oh, the novelty of wiz kalifas ‘black and yellow’ is wearing off. Hope things with him and rose are still going OK.

10. ask yourself this: do you like him, or is he just a conquest/are you just trying to collect his love/rip his heart out and put it on your wall? Cuz that shit is evil and ego driven. So know what you’re up to and try your hardest to avoid hurting someone when you KNOW it can be prevented!

ps: i’d be so happy if you followed me on twitter @imboycrazy xo, me

a letter about love:

Dear Ms. Wasser,

I came upon your Blog while trying to identify the amazing young lady in a York Peppermint Patty commercial. I like to know who it is that I am watching. I should say at this point, that I am an old man and I have no business watching the antics of a young woman, but your sense of humor gave me a few very good laughs. The reason I’m writing this note is because I watched a video you made about a year ago, asking for input about whether or not love can last. This is a subject that I have a lot of experience with. In my almost 65 years, I have fallen in and out of love many times, and was married for over 20 years, but that was long ago.

In answer to your question, yes, love can last, can withstand the ebb and flow of the tides of passion, but most of the time, it doesn’t. Love most often starts out as lust, then, if you’re lucky, it becomes something else. It requires the development of respect for your partner, the identification of mutual interests and desires, to reach the fullness of a mature love affair. Unfortunately, it also needs to happen to both partners more or less simultaneously, and that happens infrequently. There is however, another aspect of love that, once understood, brings such joy that no love affair can ever again bring sadness.

This has to do not with the love you get, or expect to get, or even the love you share. It is the love you give. Perhaps not so much love, as loving. When you understand that loving, with no expectation of a return, is a gift you give yourself, it fills the heart to overflowing. Being able to love unconditionally, allows you to feel all the warmth you can, without the pain that comes from unrealized expectations. I’ve found that I can say I love you with complete sincerity ( and yes, you can love more than one person at a time) and it immediately fills me with happiness. In truth, I’ve discovered that I’ve never learned how to stop loving. Remember, you choose who to be with, but love just happens. Most of the time, it isn’t even a choice.

I have a feeling that you may already know all of this, or that you will understand it immediately. I see it in the obvious sincerity behind the humor of your blog, and in the way you sneak in a whispered “I love you” at the end of some of your videos. Anyway, take an old man’s advice and don’t despair of love, you can have as much as you can give away, and frequently, it does come back. And please don’t be creeped out that an old man wrote you an email, I promise it will be the last.

Sincerely,

xx xxxx

THE MONSTER ASKS ABOUT LOVE: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

TONIGHT: ‘BOYCRAZY RADIO’!

CALL ME TONIGHT

WEDNESDAY May 11, 2011

DURING BOYCRAZY RADIO

9PM PST/12AM EST

JUST CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

DIAL:

1(646) 378-0649

OR CALL TOLL FREE:

1(877) 569-3588

We’ll bro out, role play,

& discuss ALL your love, sex, dating,

and life dilemmas!

Listen to internet radio with Alexi Wasser on Blog Talk Radio


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