BLOG » a letter about love:
Dear Ms. Wasser,
I came upon your Blog while trying to identify the amazing young lady in a York Peppermint Patty commercial. I like to know who it is that I am watching. I should say at this point, that I am an old man and I have no business watching the antics of a young woman, but your sense of humor gave me a few very good laughs. The reason I’m writing this note is because I watched a video you made about a year ago, asking for input about whether or not love can last. This is a subject that I have a lot of experience with. In my almost 65 years, I have fallen in and out of love many times, and was married for over 20 years, but that was long ago.
In answer to your question, yes, love can last, can withstand the ebb and flow of the tides of passion, but most of the time, it doesn’t. Love most often starts out as lust, then, if you’re lucky, it becomes something else. It requires the development of respect for your partner, the identification of mutual interests and desires, to reach the fullness of a mature love affair. Unfortunately, it also needs to happen to both partners more or less simultaneously, and that happens infrequently. There is however, another aspect of love that, once understood, brings such joy that no love affair can ever again bring sadness.
This has to do not with the love you get, or expect to get, or even the love you share. It is the love you give. Perhaps not so much love, as loving. When you understand that loving, with no expectation of a return, is a gift you give yourself, it fills the heart to overflowing. Being able to love unconditionally, allows you to feel all the warmth you can, without the pain that comes from unrealized expectations. I’ve found that I can say I love you with complete sincerity ( and yes, you can love more than one person at a time) and it immediately fills me with happiness. In truth, I’ve discovered that I’ve never learned how to stop loving. Remember, you choose who to be with, but love just happens. Most of the time, it isn’t even a choice.
I have a feeling that you may already know all of this, or that you will understand it immediately. I see it in the obvious sincerity behind the humor of your blog, and in the way you sneak in a whispered “I love you” at the end of some of your videos. Anyway, take an old man’s advice and don’t despair of love, you can have as much as you can give away, and frequently, it does come back. And please don’t be creeped out that an old man wrote you an email, I promise it will be the last.