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Dear Ms. Wasser,

I came upon your Blog while trying to identify the amazing young lady in a York Peppermint Patty commercial. I like to know who it is that I am watching. I should say at this point, that I am an old man and I have no business watching the antics of a young woman, but your sense of humor gave me a few very good laughs. The reason I’m writing this note is because I watched a video you made about a year ago, asking for input about whether or not love can last. This is a subject that I have a lot of experience with. In my almost 65 years, I have fallen in and out of love many times, and was married for over 20 years, but that was long ago.

In answer to your question, yes, love can last, can withstand the ebb and flow of the tides of passion, but most of the time, it doesn’t. Love most often starts out as lust, then, if you’re lucky, it becomes something else. It requires the development of respect for your partner, the identification of mutual interests and desires, to reach the fullness of a mature love affair. Unfortunately, it also needs to happen to both partners more or less simultaneously, and that happens infrequently. There is however, another aspect of love that, once understood, brings such joy that no love affair can ever again bring sadness.

This has to do not with the love you get, or expect to get, or even the love you share. It is the love you give. Perhaps not so much love, as loving. When you understand that loving, with no expectation of a return, is a gift you give yourself, it fills the heart to overflowing. Being able to love unconditionally, allows you to feel all the warmth you can, without the pain that comes from unrealized expectations. I’ve found that I can say I love you with complete sincerity ( and yes, you can love more than one person at a time) and it immediately fills me with happiness. In truth, I’ve discovered that I’ve never learned how to stop loving. Remember, you choose who to be with, but love just happens. Most of the time, it isn’t even a choice.

I have a feeling that you may already know all of this, or that you will understand it immediately. I see it in the obvious sincerity behind the humor of your blog, and in the way you sneak in a whispered “I love you” at the end of some of your videos. Anyway, take an old man’s advice and don’t despair of love, you can have as much as you can give away, and frequently, it does come back. And please don’t be creeped out that an old man wrote you an email, I promise it will be the last.


xx xxxx

THE MONSTER ASKS ABOUT LOVE: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

16 Responses to “a letter about love:”

  1. beautiful post.

  2. that made me feel so warm 🙂
    I love you

  3. this letter warms my heart. you couldn’t have posted it at a better time…cheered me right up.

  4. “Being able to love unconditionally, allows you to feel all the warmth you can, without the pain that comes from unrealized expectations.” Wonderfully put!

  5. i hope that won’t be the last email from this most wise gentleman. just when this jaded old marine thinks he can’t be moved by something, a letter like this surprises me. God bless you, sir. and God bless you, alexi for sharing it with us.

  6. Very nice, thanks for sharing.

  7. Nice guys are rare in this world ,yet part of me sez yeah right he’s probably a convicted killer.Nah he’s cool he checks out alright,peace out love you all.

  8. I really enjoyed this video even if it went beyond my usual 30-second attention span for videos. About 3 minutes in it was the best and I really like to sincerity and spontaneity of it all, thanks.

  9. Great letter! This man is awesome

  10. Seniorita Wasser tu eres muy bonita con tus ojos asules.Yo creo que tu tienes mucho talento y espero ver te en la television.Tu eres muy simpatica y sabes escibir muy bien con tus blogs de,” Alone in Disneyland ” Ese es mi faborito,tambien me gusta tu pod cast es muy sexy y divertido.Alexi te amo mucho!Adios mi amor.

  11. Bristol Palin is getting her own reality show!Alexi Wasser still aint gettin’ no love from the mutha fuckin’ media!Yes these are sad days when true artistic talent is over looked by the man!Palin cant dance she cant sing she cant even keep her legs closed to discourage a stray penis from her inner sanctum.Yet the man thinks she merits a reality show REALLY FUCKED UP!Hang in there Alexi your day will come youre twice the woman bristol palin thinks she is.Alexi te amo mucho mi vida!

  12. oh, I adore this sweet man who wrote that post. He has made me happy and hopeful and he seems like he had a very full life, that makes me happy 🙂

    Also to Alexxi, my grandparents were married for 65 years until my grandfather died. After he died, my grandmother couldn’t fully comprehend he was gone, she died a year later. They really loved each other,
    love exists and can last, don’t worry

  13. the letter and video seem so sincere, so here goes:

    what can last is love that’s impossible, unrequited, cancelled in some form by circumstances or one of the parties involved; they used to say “courtly” love.

    a taste from Umbrellas of Cherbourg:

    love that becomes something else doesn’t have to be cancelled, but it doesn’t stay first love . . .

  14. i just stumbled across your blog today and i’m relating pretty hard over here. I’m 33 and super romantic, but after falling in love 3, 4, 5 times, each time inevitably ending…i started to think love was for suckers. i don’t really think that anymore, but i do think each love is unique, and that is what is amazing about it. we are able to love over and over again if we allow ourselves to. each love will be a completely unique, intangible entity, bearing similarities to, but never replicating the others.

    if we are able to remain open to love, love will be open to us, forever.

    these are the words of a single man who lives alone with his cat.

  15. addendum–> since this was actually supposed to be about ENDLESS love (the variety which propelled Lionel Richie & Diana Ross to #1 in 1981) i can say with confidence that shit makes NO SENSE to me. I want to believe, i’ve seen examples in my own family that seem to indicate lasting love is possible, but like the wise man says in his letter maybe the emotion changes over the years, puppy love–> passion–> sexy results–> compatibility–>etc. love mutations.

  16. This dude sells bridges in Brooklyn,right?

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