BLOG » A SORT OF REBUTTAL:
A few posts ago, i wrote about a boy I’d had an uuber awkward encounter with, entitled: ‘how to tell you’ve given the wrong guy a blow job’. he read it, we talked about it, and he said he could write his own blog post about our sexy time rendezvous from his point of view. to him, my interpretation of the night/his behavior wasn’t completely accurate or at least not the same as his.
so, in the interest of expanding my point of view and the overall point of view of this website….. i asked him to write a post about our night, from his perspective…
cuz it’s important to know there are always two sides to every story.
this what he wrote:
A SORT OF REBUTTAL
My heart sunk as I looked down to read the text from my best friend dropping “that boy crazy chick really hammered you” on me.
It had been days since our fumbling yet somewhat endearing yet somewhat terribly awkward intimate encounter and i had all but put
aside my inevitable fears of the very this very thing happening. I shook my head and started replaying the evening in question in my
head as I slowly navigated my way, heart thumping, to this post.
We’ve all done it, made a move at the intellectual actress/blogger/socialite with perfect skin and veritable oceans for eyes that you
drown in from even jpegs. A girl that seems impossibly interested in you to the point that every prodding question lends to a feeling
that you may already be conducting an interview for her site. Her almost intimidating confidence coupled with playful sarcasm and
hypnotizing stare instantly brings up my walls… oops well I guess this is first person now. I can handle her constant barrage of
flirtatious digs at my hip attire, living situation, employment, etc… I’m no cretin, and we give it back and forth ongoing throughout the
night… but the sensitive, dare I say self conscious, manchild inside me is making note of the things she notices, even if they are
meant in good humor, she noticed them enough to mention. Already subconsciously getting knocked down a peg or five masculinity
(those pegs being in short supply for me anyway) I compensate by turning off and shutting away my soft gooey center.
Nevertheless, things are progressing swimmingly, it’s exhilarating to feel matched on a cerebral level with a beauitiful girl, and as the
night progresses from nightclub, to afterparty, to her car, to my house, to my room, to my bed –my mind/id/libido/machismo all start
to talk at once. I felt that this could maybe be one of those impulsive/fun/modern sexual encounters that doesn’t emotionally maim
me but leaves both of us feeling like romantic if-not-a-bit-reckless libertines. But it could be a horrible trap, a bait and switch, where I
allow this siren into my holiest of holies only to be exposed as a lesser lover?
“Is this girl is the enemy?”
We are making out.
“She has probably been with far better lovers than me.”
We are removing clothes.
“I mean you don’t get a title like Boy Crazy for nothing right?”
We are making out without clothes.
“But I am a sweet lover, shes lucky to have me.”
We are not wearing clothes, that’s for sure.
“No sex yet though. That’s prudent right? OK but I still want to have fun.”
I present a brief oral report to her nether regions and then we switch and all the fellatio business begins. I’m fully floating, a fantasy has
come to fruition and I just want to focus on catching glimpses of her eyes looking up as this heavenly action is bestowed on my privates.
I feel triumphant, not in a conquering misogynistic way but in a “I have touched myself to her photo before and she likes me” way. I start
to feel like the event is climaxing and I somehow convey this to her, she responds something I don’t understand due to the cock in her
head and moments later the deed is done.
A SCOWL!
A SPIT!
REALLY?
Did I offend her? It was quite a statement just opening ones mouth and allowing all manners of saliva and seminal fluids to come
splattering down on my new sheets… I was instantly at odds with her and myself. No discussion. Being not really that offended
and in a sort of post-cum zombie stupor, legs still in tremor, I step back, and in the same sarcastic playful manner we had been
insulting each other all night, express disdain for her action and make a big show of retrieving a rag and sort of mopping up my mess.
She seemed amused and made mention of her desire to also orgasm, to which I was in favor. I needed to recharge though, especially
after the late night we spent previous this dalliance. Sitting half dazed trying to assemble words for a plan or an action or a.. and then
she hugs me, this is sweet! This is totally a not hurtful encounter, I feel a cold wet strand of hair caress my shoulder, and in the same
aforementioned tone, mention that she may have my seed in her bangs.
I lay down grotesquely, comfortably naked on my bed and start to consider how fucking perfect it will feel to have her body against
mine all night, if she wishes to stay and snuggle. I rise to see her dressing, discussing parking restrictions, searching for a shirt,
looking down at me every few moments with a not entirely discernible look. I suppose if she wishes to leave she must, I should
have said something, anything to her, but my male cum purged visage is allowing her have her way.
A few more sentences are exchanged, I decline to dress and leave my house to walk her to her car, a bit surprised she even asked.
I wasn’t a portrait of chivalry at this point but her blatantly confronting it felt bizarre considering my current fading state. But no matter,
she is entitled to these strong actions, she is a strong woman, and I knew (I didn’t) what I was getting myself into.
She leaves, we speak through text message the next few day things about things unrelated to the tryst.
Heart thumping, navigating to this luridly titled post…
…at least she said my private was big.
When he got to the part about being “Libertines” I could tell that this wasn’t exactly an earnest, from-the-gut account.
Also, eat a girl out until she finishes, fo realz, tout le temps.
I like that he’s not trying to say that he is infact the RIGHT guy to give a blowjob to.
That was not a rebuttal, if anything he made it even more obvious he was the wrong give to give a blow job to.
a) If you’re gonna get naked with a girl, expect your new sheets will probably get messy, otherwise you’re not doing it right.
b) No matter who starts the down-and-dirty, it’s all about reciprocation. if you get some, you give it back to the best of your ability. Hell, even if you don’t get any, you do what you can to make the girl happy. A girl spending time with you is a wonderful thing.
c) You always walk the girl out. Period. It’s the right thing to do.
This is just the way I’ve always treated those I’ve been with.
“Her almost intimidating confidence…” I swear to god I got mad at that sentence right there. I am a young, successful female and almost every guy I try to talk to throws out the intimidating card, even if I’m just having normal conversation (“so, where are you from…”) Guys have a real problem with girls who are confident and have their shit together and I think they all need to GET THE FUCK OVER IT! UUUGGHHH /rant.
DAMN haaha that was awesome. sometimes you need to hear it that way.
It’s pretty clear that he’s the wrong dude to be giving a blow job to. For some odd reason I’m into it.
I think he cared more about his word choice then admitting he was wrong/apologizing.
wow his “rebuttal” sucks.. Alexi was right, you are the wrong guy to give a BJ to! Even your last sentence shows how arrogant and stupid you are.
i bet he walks dudes to their cars after…
recharge?! if you were into it at all, you would step up and earn your snuggle sesh that you crave so dearly!
man up or man on, turkey!
he just needs to be a little more gentlemanly, i know chivalry is dead, but come on! If a guy treated me like that I would feel awful, but reading the thougths to go with it is kind of endearing…
WHAAAAT? The whole thing is bullshit. You shouldn’t even be able to GET blowjobs. I don’t know how guys are in the states (hopefully you’re just a fucking outlier) but I KNOW that in EUROPE, with your BASIC manners (or lack there of)..You’d be spending nights blowing yourself.
And Alexi, have more respect for yourself and be more patient with getting to know (one, two dates is all i ask) the ones you choose to blow. SERIOUSLY.
AND HEY MR. HIPSTER! Your ego got innocently jabbed at. You felt this was a modern no strings attached encounter.You hoped for sex but didn’t get any. SOO you decided to settle for a blowjob BUT to make sure she knows it’s very CASUAL (and insolent) you behaved like a complete, frigid dick and made sure there wasn’t anything that could lead to her wanting an encore? is that it? Or is just that how you treat women? if so, ALEXI SPREAD THE WORD. make sure EVERYONE is aware of what they are getting themselves into before they fall for his insubstantial and surface appeal.
A big dick isn’t worth anything without a set of balls.
First, I am really impressed by how true your stories really are. I though that post was a complete embellishment, but now hearing from the dude’s side, Alexi, you were not joking. Jesus. We all know guys like this, they are EVERYWHERE, you just never think they would pull this kind of shit on Alexi Wasser.
Second, And she has a fucking blog which she pours her deep dark secrets and feelings in. It’s like getting to read a chick’s diary. You would know she digs chivalry (most girls do in the beginning). I can not believe you whined about your sheets. They are YOUR sheets and YOUR cum. Not hers. Wash them!
This guy sounds like a lame lame man and Alexi, I hope you don’t give him more sexual attention.
But I do commend him for having the guts to write his side. He seems innocent and completely at awe of why his encounter ended up on a blog. But it just makes him look dumber.
They all think their sperm tastes like a chocolate shake with whipped cream topping and that their IKEA sheets are the only ones that really matter. Some do and some don’t. Get under it.
Loved the raw honesty of the first post and his rebuttal purely for the fact that you have the tits to say it in the first place and the tits to hear the opposing player recall his dribbling skills down your field, out loud, for all to see. Bravo and hail to the chief and yes, he should have walked you out. That’s not Libertine, that’s Philistine.
what a well written post. i loved reading it!
i actually liked this rebuttal. i thought it was honest and somewhat heartfelt. girls think the same way too some times…
Definitely the wrong guy.
Dude gets sucked off by a smart, sexy young woman and the only response he can muster is to complain about his sheets?! Do the right thing! Get her off, too. Or at least walk her to her car, apologise and give her a kiss.
His rebuttal is feeble. His poetic thoughts/words don’t matter, if he still acts like a fucking cock.
And, I think he should be more concerned about his writing style than his sheets. He writes like an overwrought teenager.
dude’s for sure gay
You know, if this guy does get a blog? I’d read it. I must admit, he composed that rebuttal well. Amusing if nothing else.
-This guy tried wayyyy to hard to sound like a good writer. He sucks.
-Should have walked her out
-Should not have complained about the sheets, are you fucking kidding me?! ALEXI WASSER JUST SUCKED YOUR DICK YOU POMPOUS IDIOT PRAISE HER ON YOUR KNEES.
-Or at least make her cum instead of being a selfish ass.
-This dude is gay. Any guy, ANY GUY who cares more about his sheets than his sexual encounter with a goddess like Alexi is into men. That’s fine. But own it!
omari – well said.
btw is anyone else creeped out by the fact that he beat off to her picture?
This was really fascinating to hear the guys point of view.
My initial reaction to Alexi’s post was, ‘Fuck You!’ scenester dude! You’re so hip and disaffected that you can’t walk a gorgeous girl to the door or better yet, her car, and say goodnight?! I will of course admit that some of that bitterness comes from jealousy.
Upon reading his response, I can begin to see his confusion and uncertainty:
We’ve all been there. It’s really late and you’re tired. You don’t know the other persons feelings or boundaries. You’re post-orgasm and hence a little out of it. I get it. I really do. Plus you’re a guy, and let’s face it, we’re pretty dumb.
Those factors don’t save him from the fact that he is unquestionably a douche.
He apparently feels that since he perceives himself as deep, thoughtful, and most of all, charmingly insecure, that he’s earned the right to not care about others’ feelings.
He was trying to participate in the ‘game’ that he thought she was playing. He was just as confused himself. All of these are logical responses, yet anyone who was emotionally mature, caring, and less self-involved would move past these surface reactions and engage with the other person’s feelings.
No one cares that you’re tired. You just got a BJ and so you fucking reciprocate! And unless your orgasms are 28x better than mine, you can still function reasonably well after them. (Or maybe, I’m just not giving Alexi enough credit.)
Bottom line: It’s great to hear his perspective He’s a human being with feelings and baggage just like the rest of us. But none of that excuses him from being so wrapped up in his own experiences and his own comfort that he can’t care about his partners feelings. And that is the very definition of a douche.
Oh my gosh, this is such transparent bullshit. If this guy has an ounce of intelligence, he knew that you couldn’t read his mind. DOUCHE ALERT, going off hard.
“We’ve all done it, made a move at the intellectual actress/blogger/socialite with perfect skin and veritable oceans for eyes that you drown in from even jpegs.”
Wow, laying it on thick homie. As soon as I read that I wanted to throw my computer at hipster dude’s head.
Alexi, my love for you is solidified.
Dude you sounded a whole lot cooler without the rebuttal. At least that way you come across as a dick. Now you sound like a gay-ass amateur (your new sheets? maybe you should have gotten a dude to give you head or vice versa). Sounds to me like all your style is in your choice of skinny jeans, fake glasses and trilbys because you got no style in the sack pal. If a dude gets lucky enough to land a dream encounter like this, you got to man up! Put your spurs on and be a horsemen. Make here scream “Oh God” so loud the neighbors across the street hear it, and then make her see God. Your story reminds me of the dorm room scene in Forest Gump.And I got news for you pal: that big dick line she sold you? The fact that you believed it proves you are a freaking amateur. They (girls) learn that shit in Guys 101 class. “you are the best I’ve ever had” or “yours is the biggest” or “only 3 guys and one was a long term boyfriend”…good lord kid wake up. You got a lot left to learn Casanova.
this is so aj english
Alexi some singer chick from England has stolen your look with the black hair the bangs the long legs et. al.WTF, what has this world come to??!!Youre the best no one can beat you!her name is jessie j or something this is pretty fucked up! love you alexi.
FUCKIN’ DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS JESSIE J!SSSSSHHHHHIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!
it’s like this guy is trying to compete by writing some sort of equally insightful, well worded post and failing miserably. it really isn’t a rebuttal.
and don’t even get me started about being to lazy to get up and walk her out.
Haha oh man, I love that he felt like he needed to respond!
fool was lucky to get out in time. alexi, soul sucking tramp! treat a lady better, but whores deserve what they get! especially LA hipster trending whores!!
because nobody else has long legs and black hair with bangs, obvs
haha I liked the way he wrote but idkkk he seems like want to be douche slash insecure loser.
Haha (text-speak) the way this was written this was horribly douched out; you’d think the self-entitled rich hipster oligarchs might’ve gleaned some sense of conventional grammar to reflect a writing ability more advanced than the level of a junior high truant. With all that money to throw around on personal STYLE, clearly it wasn’t spent on a literate education. And I can’t decide which media is more humiliating, this or Jerry Springer – but I must say, I think it’s THIS because people seem to be having it confused with something meaningful and authentic.
Ugh. Classic miscommunication, or just mis-matched chemistry?
Dude may be a bit immature, but I do love the way he writes. On another note, if I read the word “douche” one more time in this comment section, I may never return.
I’m not going to defend the guy (who obviously has some issues), but having seen your Peppermint Patty commercial, I can at least appreciate where he was coming from when he described you as the “actress/blogger/socialite with perfect skin and veritable oceans for eyes that you drown in from even jpegs”…
Totally the wrong guy to give a BJ to. Since when does just having cum mean all you can do is lay on the bed and be a doucebag?
If I were you, I wouldnt even bother looking at that guy’s penis!
“fuck bitches get money” would of been a hell of a lot better “rebuttal”
i love how this guy drops in the part about his penis being big. give me a break. what a douche. while trying to defend himself he revealed what a self absorbed hipster he is. hey mister– will you try this again and this time be honest? and if this was your truly honest response will you re-think your approach with women? thx.
THIS:
“A few more sentences are exchanged, I decline to dress and leave my house to walk her to her car, a bit surprised she even asked.
I wasn’t a portrait of chivalry at this point but her blatantly confronting it felt bizarre considering my current fading state.”
He’s a bit surprised she expected a walk to her car???? i really want to punch this dude in the face. GROSS. i feel sorry for the next chick he picks up off the cobrasnake.
I actually quite enjoyed reading his rebuttal. Of course I came to it being a reader of your blog and therefor a supporter of YOU, so I sort of went into it being on your side, but it was very interesting to see his point of view of the situation…
Nice follow up post! It was also intriguing to read a description of you from someone elses point of view because I’ve only ever read your own thoughts. haha this sounds creeeeepy! lol but basically just wanted to say that I don’t usually comment on blog posts but I really liked this one! yay!
Butt-hurt Contest 2011
I just feel like when he was writing his post, he had your post up right next to him so he could make sure he covered everything you covered and maybe tried to make him look sincere and bashful and that you had it all wrong but it just seemed a bit weird. I did enjoy reading it though!
“actress/blogger/socialite with perfect skin and veritable oceans for eyes that you drown in from even jpegs”… There was no rebuttal, there was no such blow-job either It did not take place. Same author, same person, disguised in a doubly poor adherence to the rules of writing… Oh, yea manipulable blogamagogster Gross…
Hmmm… This is cute. He was too stuck on himself though and psyched himself out instead of up. What a pity.
“it’s exhilarating to feel matched on a cerebral level with a beauitiful girl”
lol – yeah, it’s obvious neither of you graduated from college.
*SIgh*
There is no right or wrong. Stuff just happens. Maybe it’s not to your preference, but there is no good guy/bad guy here or anywhere else. All I see is a lot of peeps trying to suck Alexi’s dick in the comments.
Which, you know, hey, whatever floats your boat.
I can appreciate Josh’s BOLD relativism here, but everywhere I go; the bus, the train, the gas station, I see these young little white girls trying to be an Alexi while all travel in packs. And when I eavesdrop it seems like they have these fascistic rules for everything they do, and what they like most is to tell other people what to do, particularly when it involves some sort of vainglorious put down of another person. I see college-age journalists are taking on an authoritarian style in their school news papers as well, “Wear this, suck on that…” It’s getting a little out of hand: people should do whatever they fuck they want to do, mind their own biz, stop being such pasty corporate zombies.
HES A DOUCHE plain and simple lol. This did nothing to change our mind….stop blaming it on a ‘cum stupor’ welcome to our world of cumming first and acting like we are into it afterwards or not cumming at all…
I feel like I stumbled upon some long-lost livejournal entry.
he obviously cares more about his image/how the public perceives him. i think he is full of it. /barf
seriously, public diaries are embarrassing. keep this shit to yourselves.
He’s a douche than can write.
“He’s a douche than can write” God-awful, agramatical prose reflecting his own fakeness and inescapable douchocity…
I am not trying to suck boycrazy’s dick but I’m also not seeing how this is supposed to exonerate him at all. Among other things assrocket, what do you do if she squirts all over your magickal sheets? Freak out some more? He should’ve just let it rest.
didnt even bother to read on after the first couple of sentances cause his writing is so ridiculous. Tried way too hard. But from what I can see in the comments, Im assuming his lil “rebuttal” speech is completely transparent and he will forever be known as the DICK who you shouldnt give a blow job to.
you seem perfect for each other.
also, i’m fairly sure he’s gay. The concern over getting cum on his ‘brand new sheets’ kind of gave it away.
Nobody’s taking the obvious on this one? Fine, I’ll do it.
I’m offering you deep tissue massage on all the points that matter ( yes, I’m talking outer AND inner labia as well) with my tongue with no reciprocation required. Ok, maybe a grilled cheese should be involved but we need to do something in order to restore karmic balance. Seeing as how it needs to be true to form, I’m guessing you have to throw a cup of yogurt on my face so I can spit it on your 300threadcount sheets. After, you can watch me mess with the doorknob for a good 20 minutes while you go “yeah, total pwnage” in your mind over and over.
@Kaitlin…. is douchecake a variant or still acceptable to use?
boo hoo, your sheets got dirty!
you blew him too early if you ask me but then I am old fashioned when it comes to oral sex female to male.
well at least he did you first.
some women get stuck with a 63, you did him and he will do you sometime later read never.
LoL, i don’t know which i enjoyed more.
the original post, “the rebuttal”, or the comments for “the rebuttal”
i’m going with the comments :p
Agreed Pat! I keep on coming back to the comments to laugh.
bro, you were an ass. this rebuttal is not doing you any flavors, okay? learn to be more giving! It’s not all about your dick getting off.
Ugh. . . I lost interest and stopped reading around the 3rd paragraph. You write like a douche, dude.
Man oh man… what a follow-up blog to your original one. It’s really funny to not only read the “rebuttal” but to read the comments!
I’m not here to deny his lack of “sexual manners” but I think a lot of people are a little harsh on him.
From what I read, I think he’s a little inexperienced with women or maybe he’s a just little shy… or simply not that confident.
I read his internal dialogue as the night progresses with Alexi and I can’t help but recognize the patterns I see with clients I coach (yes, I coah men and women on dating). That’s the same kind of monkey chatter that a lot of guys come to me for when they aren’t good with women!
As much as I applaud and love Alexi for being confident in exploring her sexual side/power, what did she really expect from a guy like him?
My impression of him is that his encounter with Alexi was a bit of a surreal fantasy and he didn’t know how to react to it because of his inexperience or maybe because of his drunken stupor (wasn’t there a party and after party involved?)
Anyway, I don’t know if he’s really a douchebag or just a guy who got himself caught with a woman he really wasn’t ready for.
So to the guy, learn from this! But to Alexi, enjoy it for what it was and… choose better guys next time?
I think Max summed it up pretty well. My beef’s with the sheets! Speaking as a young queer dude I don’t have any problem with getting cum all over my damn sheets. It’s something I celebrate!
sounded like a douche before, sounds like a bigger douche now.
so typical for a guy like that to view HIMSELF as the victim.
ugggghh.
I can understand what this dude was talking about with the intimidation factor because of this blog. my ex boyfriend was a writer and I always felt like he was interested in me not because he genuinely cared about me but more because he thought I would make an interesting character for one of this stories. it made me feel like shit when we were together, and still does now after we’ve been broken up for a year. knowing that it’s likely that someone is going to write about an encounter you have with them makes it difficult to be yourself because you can’t help but worry how they’re going to portray you.
but, additionally, I feel sorry for this guy because he’s the type to be intimidated by a girl because of her confidence and boldness with the written word. the rebuttal was an interesting read, but he didn’t really redeem himself or give any legitimate reasoning as to why he went all american psycho on you. not cool.
and also I just found your blog and I love it!
massive privates or not, this kid is an epic douche-bag. ugh.