BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 67):

1. instead of saying ‘i’m having my period’, start saying ‘i’m celebrating not being pregnant’. it’s so much more chic to speak in code.

2. no matter what you do, if you refer to anything as a ‘gig’… its’s over! the word ‘gig’ is as awful as the word ‘aspiring’.

3. a side affect of the morning after pill might not be weight loss, but it will prevent the weight of a child from forming in your womb! so that’s pretty cool!

4. all girls love reading their susan miller horoscopes on astrologyzone.com (and then comparing whether they’re a good match with a boy, depending on HIS sign). Case closed. deal with it!

5. tan pants? But why? and when i say ‘tan’, i am NOT referring to khaki. yes to khaki pants. yes all the way!

6. dear dudes who work in the whole foods parking lot, who pretend to be there to make the parking situation easier for everyone; you are NOT helpful! you are the opposite of helpful! in actuality, you are totally in my way! i am fully capable of getting in and out of my parking space WITHOUT YOU! and when you motion for me to back up, i find it completely condescending. it makes me furious! and you know what the worst part is? if i WERE to FULLY trust you and your hand gestures, motioning and beckoning me backwards, i bet you would TOTALLY let me crash into someone/something! so fuck you! and stay out of my goddam way! fuck! don’t even get me started on the people with the petitions outside of supermarkets! that’s a whole OTHER rant for ANOTHER day!

7. just because he’s tall enough to be a Laker, doesn’t mean he has a big dick. ALWAYS do the casual graze during the initial make-out.

8. ALL girls love chap stick. Case closed. deal with it!

9. always make sure the place you live appears photo shoot worthy and photo shoot ready. This can be achieved for cheap! either swiffer that shit yourself, or get a housekeeper for $60.

10. start referring to Los Angeles as ‘LaLa Land’ unless you prefer my previous recommendation: ‘tinseltown.’ either are great options.

PS: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

PPS: leave me a message on my boycrazy voice-mailbox 888 666-2045

ask me a question, tell me a secret, or just say something neat.

xoxo

By: boycrazy on August 19, 2011
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14 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 67):”

  1. Loulou, on August 19th, 2011 at 2:25 am Said:

    this is my favourite bltb purely for the phrase ‘casual graze’, so good xx


  2. Madison, on August 19th, 2011 at 2:35 am Said:

    I always do a little dance when first celebrating not being pregnant.. though, I wouldn’t have to do a little dance so often if I were more careful.. meaning if I was on the pill. OMG. Omg, TMI.. tmi <3


  3. Katie K., on August 19th, 2011 at 3:38 am Said:

    i just checked the astrological sign compatibility for every boy i’ve ever been serious about, and oh my stars it was spot on. then i checked my friend’s relationships, and my parents’, and i really need to stop, but i cant. i mean, it truly is vital information for my every day life!


  4. HeyitsAlexP, on August 19th, 2011 at 5:08 am Said:

    I’m always secretly relieved when I get my period, even if I haven’t had sex for months. I mean, you could get pregnant from a hot tub/toilet seat/second coming of Jesus, right?


  5. lulu, on August 19th, 2011 at 6:21 am Said:

    Madison, I hear yaaa! Not on the pill either, use condoms always. Guess this makes me irresponsible, but I don’t trust birth control–I don’t want to put those fucked hormones in my body, fuck!!!


  6. Sconley, on August 19th, 2011 at 7:04 am Said:

    RE: “7. just because he’s tall enough to be a Laker, doesn’t mean he has a big dick…”
    Your dick could be long enough to touch the ground… If you had no legs.
    “1. instead of saying ‘i’m having my period’…” Just show him the string.


  7. Allana, on August 19th, 2011 at 1:44 pm Said:

    Girl… If I had followed advise #1, sure as heck I’ll be dumped. My guy would thought I was fooling around/wasting his time and not wanting to have his best swimmers.


  8. Sonia, on August 19th, 2011 at 2:28 pm Said:

    yea yea yea, #4 is so fucking true. don’t judge. i did it every time when i had a crush on a guy. silly huh :P


  9. Alix, on August 19th, 2011 at 6:22 pm Said:

    HeyitsAlexP, omg so funny & so totes true…


  10. Sasha Lane, on August 19th, 2011 at 9:23 pm Said:

    Who cares about his dick, if the dude is taller than 6’1 you already kind if hit the jackpot, right?…Right?


  11. senshi, on August 20th, 2011 at 5:19 pm Said:

    @#6 its getting real in the whole foods parking lot! http://youtu.be/2UFc1pr2yUU


  12. Andie, on August 22nd, 2011 at 12:21 am Said:

    My friends and I call #7 “The Dick Trick”.


  13. Everything I know about sex I learned from KISS, on August 22nd, 2011 at 3:59 pm Said:

    Instead of saying “I’m having my period” say “I’ve got moon allergies”.


  14. Amanda, on August 25th, 2011 at 2:58 pm Said:

    Thanks, Alexi. I just spent about an hour on that astrology site!


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