BLOG » reader submission – it started as a one night stand:

It started as a one night stand and now I’m married. The chronology is
still a bit blurry. But, let’s get a few details straight- I love him.
I don’t regret marrying him and I don’t resent him for getting me to
this place. But, nonetheless, I’m really not the marrying type and
neither is he.

Like I said previously, we started out in that awkward margin. I met
him at the local dive bar; he was working behind it and I was drunk
because of him (and not in the romantic sense). The night was fuzzy…
But it was something about his hands. He definitely was never my type
and still isn’t. He wore camo shorts and a nasty, ill-fitting
Clockwork Orange t-shirt. My friends called him dirty so I went home
with him, mainly because the sex was bound to be epic- it always is
with the unkempt ones. And it was good for a drunken romp. I figured
I’d never speak to him again and so I pulled out all of the stops
(isn’t that breaking the first sexual encounter rule?). I got on top,
I tugged on his balls, and I even let him finish in my mouth. I felt
dirty just being in his bare room, fucking on his futon with a
fluorescent bulb making me look even more haggard than I felt and
Sonic Youth playing in the background. And that was exciting. Or maybe
dangerous. Both?

After it was over, I awkwardly climbed off of the futon, threw on my
clothes, said “thanks for, uh, that…”, and started to leave.
“Wait. Shouldn’t I get your phone number or something?”
I turned around and gave him my best attempt at a smirk. I felt as if
all of the Jameson I had consumed earlier that night was suddenly
turning on me in the most vicious way and I had to get out of there.
“That was fun and all, but I don’t date people who I fuck for fun.” It
had sounded better in my head. My tongue felt like it was expanding
and the room was twirling in that maniacal sort of manner.

I expected him to look hurt but, instead, he laughed. And it was genuine. Shit.
“Sure, I get it. Ok, well, come into the bar sometime. I’ll buy you a drink.”
And that was it. I puked all over his stained carpet (proof that I may
not have been the only one) and then left without offering to clean up
my mess. It wasn’t the nonchalant, sexy exit that I had pictured in my
head, by any means.

Anyway, I suppose you could say that the rest is history. His hands
brought me back into his bar. The Jameson got me back onto his futon.
And his genuine laugh got me down the aisle. It’s gross, I know. At
least I still hate that fucking Clockwork Orange t-shirt.

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By: boycrazy on October 24, 2011
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21 Responses to “reader submission – it started as a one night stand:”

  1. Muffy, on October 24th, 2011 at 11:14 am Said:

    I was reading this and it dawned on me: This is me and if I get married this is probably how it will happen. Wish me luck.


  2. CC, on October 24th, 2011 at 11:56 am Said:

    This is fucking adorable!


  3. Lauren, on October 24th, 2011 at 12:03 pm Said:

    i love this story. just proof that love can catch you when you least expect it =)


  4. Jessica, on October 24th, 2011 at 12:14 pm Said:

    Amazing story! Keeps me hoping that love will creep up on me.. Hopefully sooner than later!

    Thanks for sharing! :D


  5. SS, on October 24th, 2011 at 12:17 pm Said:

    This makes me scared… I think… Oh god…


  6. Scott, on October 24th, 2011 at 3:12 pm Said:

    It was his duty to please the booty!


  7. rachel, on October 24th, 2011 at 4:03 pm Said:

    awww this is so great


  8. SC, on October 24th, 2011 at 4:27 pm Said:

    uuuhhh skettchhh


  9. tiff, on October 24th, 2011 at 7:27 pm Said:

    This is one of my favorite submissions.


  10. nicole cupcakes, on October 24th, 2011 at 10:10 pm Said:

    this truly made me smile, afterwards I love your story one of my favs very genuine love itttt


  11. Salomé, on October 24th, 2011 at 10:26 pm Said:

    “Do you ever worry about your ‘moment’ having passed?” Or your “movement”? Do you every feel like your “movement” has passed? Like, all over the bedspread?


  12. grace, on October 25th, 2011 at 12:31 pm Said:

    a testament to living life to the fullest — more specifically, fucking to the fullest! she held nothing back when normally she would have been hesitant. let loose and good things will happen!


  13. Chloe, on October 25th, 2011 at 11:31 pm Said:

    I love this short blurb. it’s sweet, sexy, funny and somehow endearing all at the same time. It made me smirk, to say the least. xox


  14. courtney, on October 27th, 2011 at 10:56 am Said:

    Ok people c’mon, it’s kind of a cute story because they stayed together in the end…but it’s also kind of a terrifying story, because she let some dude she didn’t know cum in her mouth!
    For all the tweens/teens who probably read this blog, YOU CAN GET TONS OF STD’s from letting someone cum in your mouth! If he’s says you can’t don’t believe him or her for that matter. xo


  15. m, on October 27th, 2011 at 1:30 pm Said:

    yup. i’m currently engaged to my one nightstand. wish me luck.


  16. Ashley, on October 27th, 2011 at 8:49 pm Said:

    I love this a lot. It’s sweet and real. I totally agree with Courtney, though, that the actions mentioned above aren’t safe. But this is a story meant to relay an idea of love. It’s not a cautionary tale. Just because she did it and it worked for her doesn’t mean she’s preaching one night stands/unsafe sex to thirteen year olds. Personally, I think this is far more than that.


  17. Ashley, on October 27th, 2011 at 8:57 pm Said:

    Oh, and let’s be realistic. I’m sure the majority of us have given head to dudes we never expect to see again. Just beware of sores.


  18. Me, on October 28th, 2011 at 9:35 pm Said:

    Thanks for the lovely feedback, guys. This was definitely a fun thing to do and I’m glad that (the majority of) you enjoyed my story. I feel like it SHOULD come with a disclaimer, however, as Courtney pointed out. It was never my intention to glorify my experience nor do I feel that all of my actions were safe or intelligent. I understand that I happen to be incredibly lucky that such a reckless night led to something other that STDs. So, yeah, be uninhibited every once in awhile, but you should totally do it safely.
    Thanks!


  19. Lolo, on October 29th, 2011 at 1:19 pm Said:

    I’m in a somewhat similar place. Or getting there! Haha.

    Really well written!


  20. Stefanie, on October 31st, 2011 at 12:45 pm Said:

    Currently dating what I thought would be a one-night stand too!!! Couldn’t be happier.

    And all of that after dating a bunch of assholes, online dating, and desperately looking for THE one. All I had to do was get drunk at a bar and head home with a cutie.


  21. courtney, on November 4th, 2011 at 5:50 pm Said:

    Trust me there is NO judgement from this end…I’m right there with you in the boat of people who commit spontaneous irresponsible acts (if there were such a boat) having collected many of these little experiences, I just know that as amazing as they can be, there can also be a downside…only wanted to plant that little seed of realism…to round out the picture I guess…

    …5 1/2 years in to my one night stand, that started with a naked swim and a hand job :)

    xo
    C


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