BLOG » reader submission:
This is not part of my “submission” per se — just wanted to let you know how much I love love love your blog. I want so badly to be loved and so far just keep getting fucked, especially since I don’t try to hide the fact that I love sex and am not a “wait until the third date” kind of girl. I am scared and lonely and hopeful and ready all at once, and I feel very at home when I read about your experiences. I broke up with a guy (I think) this week who I was falling in love with, and this is what I was thinking about today…thought after all the stories you’ve shared with me, you should have one of mine. Love you.
I promised that once I got too attached again, I’d end it. I did, so I did. But in my effort to minimize the hurt headed my way, I still ended up crying myself to sleep, drunk off my ass on a Monday night. I woke up the next morning and try to piece together the events. Did I break up with you before or after I made out with the German surfer who lives in Lisbon and is into Seattle music? I hope it was before, though I only kissed him because you made it so painfully clear that I was nothing more than a fuck buddy to you and you didn’t care what I did in my free time. I was trying to prove that I didn’t care, either.Did I even break up with you? When I woke up, your number was deleted — so were all the texts you sent and every record I had of you ever calling me. I’ve done this before, when I broke up with you the first time, so that’s why I assume that’s what happened.. Or did my phone just malfunction? Or did I catch you with some other girl and freak out and go into delete mode? Or did you break up with me? Shit, I hope that’s not what happened.It’s humiliating enough being the person who’s more in love in any given relationship. One of the few perks of that position, in my experience, is you usually get to be the one who ends it, since you’re the one who eventually gets so exhausted doing all the work, so disappointed and melancholy, that you just have to break it off. Of course, the ulterior motive in this is always that breaking up with the person will give him the jolt he needs to realize that he can’t live without you. That’s how it happens in the movies, at least. So I hope to God it wasn’t you who ended things with me. I don’t think I could survive that extra bit of hurt.Though that might be just what happened. I’ll be the first to admit that I was acting needy toward the end there, and especially that Monday night. For the record, I was acting needy because I needed you. So I’m not going to apologize for that one.
IF YOU WANNA SUBMIT SOMETHING, I’D LOVE TO SEE IT AND POST IT!
I PREFER VIDEO SUBMISSIONS- UNDER 3 MINUTES:
AND THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU SEXY/SILLY DANCING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER!
TELL ME SOMETHING! WHAT ARE YOU FEELING/NOTICING?
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?
E MAIL ME @ [email protected]
write ‘make it YOURS monday’ in the heading (for videos)
OR ‘reader submission’ (for written submissions)
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I LOVE YOU