BLOG » reader submission: a high school girl and her teacher
After reading your blog for years now, I knew that you would be the woman with the most insight and solid advice I could possibly get my hands on for my situation. After over a year of joking about fucking my incredibly hot history teacher, fantasy seems as if it may be turning into reality. This 23 year old man is pretty much the man of my sexual fantasies: tousled brown hair, bearded, dresses ridiculously well (Frequently in plaid, vintage sweaters, straight legged pants, peacoat, layers his clothes, all his colors are coordinated), listens to great music, reads great books, watches great films and tv, frequents small business coffee shops, cultured, passionate about social inequalities, etc etc etc. Everyone else in my school pretty much dismissed him as being gay because a man that attractive could not possibly dress that well, but I was pretty stubborn in saying that the way a man dresses does not determine whether or not he likes taking cock up his ass.
I decided over the summer going into my senior year that I was going to seduce my teacher. First, I added him on Facebook (despite that being against school policy) and he accepted. He liked a few of my statuses and pictures then, but it was not really much to write home about, but still intriguing. Then once the school year started, he requested me to be his TA, I dropped one of my elective classes just so I could do it and have a class with him and talk to him on a daily basis. About a month into the year he told me that he was leaving at the end of this year to go to grad school, that he knew that this was not what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. After breaking up with my boyfriend, I told him how all guys my age that I date are always too clingy, calling me their ‘dream girl’ and how I am perfect and how that is not what I want and I hate it and it is too fucking much for me to handle. I pretty much let him know that all the guys my age are too immature for me. One night, I decided to talk to him over Facebook, and we talked for a couple of hours and when he left he said, “I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, do you want to continue this conversation at [insert name of coffee shop] tomorrow?” and of course I accepted and told him what time I’d be arriving there.
So the following day we have coffee together, I am sure to make a lot of eye contact, smile and giggle a lot, and occasionally bite my lip as he is speaking. I ask him, “So, since you are leaving at the end of the year, have you sort of stopped caring?” and he replies, “Well, kind of, yes. I mean, I don’t really care if I make a mistake anymore, or if I get in trouble with administration because if they try to fire me, it is like, ‘No, I’m resigning’.” This of course makes my ears perk up. What was that? You don’t care if you get in trouble with administration? So much trouble that you could get fired? Well then. And so I ask, “So is it ever hard to teach people who are so close in age to you?” and he tells me, “Yeah, because some of them are so mature and adult-like, I have trouble treating them like students rather than peers.” Oh, is this some sort of a hint as to what he wants? Or am reading too much into this? I feel as if I am putting it out there as to what I want and desire, so that he knows he is not over stepping any boundaries. After three hours of talking, we part ways.
The next week at school I try to act normal, so as not to seem too interested or eager. I want him, but I don’t want look desperate. In class we were talking about social inequalities and I was sure to tell him about how I was very enraged by gender inequalities, sexual double standards, and slut shaming (which are all true, not just a ploy to show him I am openly sexual and own my sexuality and feel all women should). He seems very impressed by my passion and we discuss the issue for a while. I tell him about how I want to go home, open all of the windows in my room, listen to Bon Iver on vinyl, and lay in bed and just listen. I tell him how I love laying in bed and just listening to records but how no one my age ever wants to do something like that, how they all get bored or they’ll talk all the way through it. He tells me how it is rare to find someone who will just lay and listen to music, and how he wants to listen to Bon Iver on vinyl sometime. This weekend, he went home to visit his family and his status on facebook was, “Bon Iver and Frank Sinatra are the ideal travel companions.” Coincidence? Or was it my influence?
I fear most about reading into everything as him being interested in me and want to make this a hot and sexy forbidden relationship. Do you think he is just being friendly or is there something more here? Also, he knows I am 18 and that legally, everything is in the clear.
What do you think I should do as far as actions go? I don’t want to be too much more forward if he is not into it and make everything terribly awkward, uncomfortable, and weird. But I feel like he is giving me signs that he is interested. Alexi, boycrazy goddess, give me your insight and tell it like it is.
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