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Dear Alexi,

After reading your blog for years now, I knew that you would be the woman with the most insight and solid advice I could possibly get my hands on for my situation. After over a year of joking about fucking my incredibly hot history teacher, fantasy seems as if it may be turning into reality. This 23 year old man is pretty much the man of my sexual fantasies: tousled brown hair, bearded, dresses ridiculously well (Frequently in plaid, vintage sweaters, straight legged pants, peacoat, layers his clothes, all his colors are coordinated), listens to great music, reads great books, watches great films and tv, frequents small business coffee shops, cultured, passionate about social inequalities, etc etc etc. Everyone else in my school pretty much dismissed him as being gay because a man that attractive could not possibly dress that well, but I was pretty stubborn in saying that the way a man dresses does not determine whether or not he likes taking cock up his ass.

I decided over the summer going into my senior year that I was going to seduce my teacher. First, I added him on Facebook (despite that being against school policy) and he accepted. He liked a few of my statuses and pictures then, but it was not really much to write home about, but still intriguing. Then once the school year started, he requested me to be his TA, I dropped one of my elective classes just so I could do it and have a class with him and talk to him on a daily basis. About a month into the year he told me that he was leaving at the end of this year to go to grad school, that he knew that this was not what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. After breaking up with my boyfriend, I told him how all guys my age that I date are always too clingy, calling me their ‘dream girl’ and how I am perfect and how that is not what I want and I hate it and it is too fucking much for me to handle. I pretty much let him know that all the guys my age are too immature for me. One night, I decided to talk to him over Facebook, and we talked for a couple of hours and when he left he said, “I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, do you want to continue this conversation at [insert name of coffee shop] tomorrow?” and of course I accepted and told him what time I’d be arriving there.

So the following day we have coffee together, I am sure to make a lot of eye contact, smile and giggle a lot, and occasionally bite my lip as he is speaking. I ask him, “So, since you are leaving at the end of the year, have you sort of stopped caring?” and he replies, “Well, kind of, yes. I mean, I don’t really care if I make a mistake anymore, or if I get in trouble with administration because if they try to fire me, it is like, ‘No, I’m resigning’.” This of course makes my ears perk up. What was that? You don’t care if you get in trouble with administration? So much trouble that you could get fired? Well then. And so I ask, “So is it ever hard to teach people who are so close in age to you?” and he tells me, “Yeah, because some of them are so mature and adult-like, I have trouble treating them like students rather than peers.” Oh, is this some sort of a hint as to what he wants? Or am reading too much into this? I feel as if I am putting it out there as to what I want and desire, so that he knows he is not over stepping any boundaries. After three hours of talking, we part ways.

The next week at school I try to act normal, so as not to seem too interested or eager. I want him, but I don’t want look desperate. In class we were talking about social inequalities and I was sure to tell him about how I was very enraged by gender inequalities, sexual double standards, and slut shaming (which are all true, not just a ploy to show him I am openly sexual and own my sexuality and feel all women should). He seems very impressed by my passion and we discuss the issue for a while. I tell him about how I want to go home, open all of the windows in my room, listen to Bon Iver on vinyl, and lay in bed and just listen. I tell him how I love laying in bed and just listening to records but how no one my age ever wants to do something like that, how they all get bored or they’ll talk all the way through it. He tells me how it is rare to find someone who will just lay and listen to music, and how he wants to listen to Bon Iver on vinyl sometime. This weekend, he went home to visit his family and his status on facebook was, “Bon Iver and Frank Sinatra are the ideal travel companions.” Coincidence? Or was it my influence?

I fear most about reading into everything as him being interested in me and want to make this a hot and sexy forbidden relationship. Do you think he is just being friendly or is there something more here? Also, he knows I am 18 and that legally, everything is in the clear.

What do you think I should do as far as actions go? I don’t want to be too much more forward if he is not into it and make everything terribly awkward, uncomfortable, and weird. But I feel like he is giving me signs that he is interested. Alexi, boycrazy goddess, give me your insight and tell it like it is.

xoxo, Anonymous

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61 Responses to “reader submission: a high school girl and her teacher”

  1. This isn’t Pretty Little Liars and this man is not some dream machine you’ve been waiting for. He’s a childish 23 year old and wreckless. You’re 18 and think you’re so wise and mature for your age which you probably are but you’re still 18 and don’t have a lot of experience in real world dating. This dude is going to fuck you up and make you a sad little girl even if you go into it thinking you have all the power. You’re already analyzing everything that happens between you two and you haven’t even touched.

    Don’t do it. Maybe lead him on for fun but if you sleep with him, he’ll have all the control and he’ll drop you in every way possible as soon as he gets what he wants.


  2. DO IT! FUCK HIM!


  3. I fucked a 21 year old dude when I was 17 and fucking regret it. Also engaged in some similar hardcore flirting with my high school English teacher. It’s dumb, you’re dumb, and stop being so goddamned hip and self-centered.
    “After breaking up with my boyfriend, I told him how all guys my age that I date are always too clingy, calling me their ‘dream girl’ and how I am perfect and how that is not what I want and I hate it and it is too fucking much for me to handle. I pretty much let him know that all the guys my age are too immature for me”
    Oh my god shut the fuck up.


  4. “Bon Iver and Frank Sinatra are the ideal travel companions.” what an embarrassment for a “dream girl”…


  5. You sound cool and smart. This guy is 23 (which once you get to college you’ll learn is NOT that mature and cool)
    If you were to seriously date/fuck him you’d have to be on the look out for all the other cool, smart, pretty girls in his classes.

    Snag a hotshot lawyer or doctor. Not a high school teacher that bangs his students.


  6. I totally agree with Kitty – if he’s such hot shit, why can’t he get girls his own age? There are usually several reasons but they usually fall into one of two categories:
    a. Loser. Or just incredibly selfish. Or both. No self-respecting woman will tolerate either.
    b. Lazy. Perhaps he knows how to impress/seduce in the beginning, but doesn’t have what it takes to KEEP a woman happy. This is usually because he is one or both of the above (see: a). Any grown woman worth her salt can recognize this sort of man from a mile away, and avoid it accordingly (Think Titanic: ICEBERG. STRAIGHT AHEAD.). Younger girls (let’s face it) are more easily impressed than older ones – he doesn’t have to work nearly as hard (or, at all?) to get you into bed as he does a woman his own age (who has had time and experience to cultivate standards about how she wants to be treated/respected).

    Moral: Take some advice from your older sisters. If grown women avoid him, there’s probably a VERY good reason.

    My personal opinion: He is using you. Because you are easy sex. Most women/girls deserve more than that. But if that’s what you want, then that’s your prerogative. Just don’t expect ANYTHING.

    Also: “I’m going to grad school” means precisely that. (That is, if he can get in at all after he breaks the law and gets discovered. Completely reckless, totally uncool). If you expect that you’re going to completely change his existence and convince him to stay, for you, you are DREAMING.


  7. i say go for it. youre only young once. and he sounds like a total dreamboat! plus how many girls can say they fucked their english teacher?!

    also..my dear friend is actually dating our english teacher from our senior year and they are very happy (hes also young and dreamy…but not as dreamy as this guy)

    everyone loves a man who can layer, so get those layers off and jump in bed!
    but make sure…you can handle this being a fling or just for fun, teacher affairs arent always the best for building a relationship but hey it could work out!


  8. Don’t do it. Teacher-student relationships always get caught. It doesn’t matter if you’re legally old enough, it’s against the law and will go on his record forever. You’ll also be ostracized for the rest of your high school career. Move on.


  9. Hey don’t listen to all of these negative responses. You can make it happen, but wait until after you graduate. Your situation is basically a carbon copy of mine except he is 10 years older than me and really cared about his job. Junior year he taught me history and senior year I was his TA and we always talked about non-school related things though it never got inappropriate. After I graduated we would get together at a coffee shop and talk…about things like how much more mature I felt than my peers. Lo and behold a few years after I graduated and turned 21, we finally ended up going out for drinks and hooking up. He is into you. It’s following a formula.


  10. DO IT! I am so jealous… He sounds like a douche bag but as long as you recognize this, then go for it girl!


  11. Do it you should totaly do it. If its your man fron the fantasies why miss the chance?


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