BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 75):

1. start saying ‘figuratively’ instead of ‘literally’… SINCE THAT’S WHAT YOU ACTUALLY MEAN!

2. the question is this: is a relationship worth more than total freedom?

3. sometimes spending the night at your boyfriend’s house is the equivalent of going on holiday… or at least a trip to the spa!

4. if a friend says ‘will you give me a ride to the airport?’ the correct response is ‘no. but I’ll give you money to take a cab.’

5. do I really have to tell you how I feel about tribal tattoos?

6. never EVER use the word ‘event’ when referring to something you went to the night before, are going to, or attended in general. it will ONLY make you sound like someone a worth-while person doesn’t want to know.

7. never EVER cut your own bangs… unless you’re really good at it. in which case… cut mine?

8. people! don’t cross diagonally on a horizontal cross walk! It slows everything down! stay within the lines you fucking selfish assholes! you make it super confusing for cars to make right turns! how about everyone STARTS being a LITTLE BIT MORE SELF AWARE! YEAH! ALL. MOTHERFUCKIN’. CAPS.

9. dudes (and lesbians), get rid of your Justin Bieber floppy mop tops! Even Justin Bieber got rid of the Justin Bieber!

10. none of my business, but I’D say: wait until she loves you before you show off your break dancing skills.


28 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 75):”

  1. On #1 – I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve just wanted to leap into random conversations screaming “I LITERALLY want you to stop using that word”

  2. #8 yes! Traffic is bad enough without having to deal with stupid pedestrians who think a car can’t hurt them.

  3. What ever happened tonjust saying “vacation”? and tribal tattoos still exist? Man.

  4. suckle down that cyanide, girls! gnum, gnum, gnum!

  5. #10 omg yes! Be smart people, some things just have to wait to be revealed till after she/he can look past your flaws

  6. they’re fucking walking, give it a break. they’re making it less toxic to drive. literally, we should’ve all made that distinction a long time ago. the problem with the american public is that they’re made to memorize shit to say. try listening to any talk/debate show on tv or any interview with a mediocre citizen. count how many sentences they start and finish in a grammatically correct way as compared to how many “sentences” they say. we are illiterate fucks.

  7. not to shit on my own folk but let’s serious get it together with syntax. god it would make us seem so much smarter

  8. point in case. what a travesty in so many public circles

  9. well, drrw’s clearly crazy.

    the blind leading the blind (part 75): when commenting on a blog, limit yourself to just ONE comment. any more will take you out of the game and make you look like a crazed loon. i mean, commenting to begin with lessons your credibility… especially if it’s your OWN blog.

  10. Tribal tattoos are the Honda Accords of Tattoos

  11. to reduce the comments consider reducing the posts, tit baby. drrw, you’re a lil’ tit piggy. makes sense to me! get lil’ ole tattoo of rick ross the warden and suck your own syntax tits. tit baby said her bits what you ‘gone do, player? p.t. swayze love.

  12. Awe Yeah, Sweeping the Nation, baby, Just like TV. This shit’s HELLA tight.

  13. commenting lessons your cred? hooow?

  14. Lessons cred in the sense that your opinion doesn’t matter. That’s why you shouldn’t voice one publicly and just take their word for it. If you said something hardcore in the box for example it might disrupt what they are trying to accomplish which is to say the total and extreme dumbing down of the inchoate brain. That way, not being very smart themselves, they stay in control. By they I mean not you. They other thing they might try is putting lithium in the water, also known as mixing the kool aid, or depict a skinny girl eating nachos made hydrogenated soy and drinking pure aspartame on television.

  15. Credibility aside, you meant to use ‘lessens’ instead of ‘lessons’ right?

  16. Attack of the rabid sock puppets!

    Hey, incoherently-hostile sock puppets: why not find a blind boy with lithium in his balls and kill two (or three) birds with one stone?

    Or start your own fucking blogs?

    You claim to find this site so awful… yet keep coming back again and again and again (and again)! If you don’t have enough actual ideas to start your own blog, why not try getting something pointless and semi-coherent published in… oh, I dunno… THOUGHT CATALOG (wink)…?

  17. Hey Steven YOUR blog is incoherent. Stop being such a yuppy toady. We can tell by your comment you’re a confused little masochist who never mentally departed junior high. Why as an adult would you come to this site? You some kind of pervert? Not fully fledged upstairs? Seems like it… get a life.

  18. …I’m used to you being mean and clever, not just mean…this BLTB kind of sucked, sorry.

  19. Hey “Ali”, still here for the free ice cream you “hate”, I see! Uh huh.

  20. love that picture

  21. steven, steven, steven… “Eryn said get this he unzips his pants and asks is it big enough. The waitress still hadn’t fetched their drinks.” really, really bad, shameful, and embarrassingly clichéd trying to hard style hipster romance novel material, bro. sorry to break it to you. and you don’t want to draw to much attention to what you’re doing over there by asserting position of authority over here, man. seriously. you might want to take a play out this girl’s playbook: if you can’t write, just post someone else’s bullshit instead of making a fool out of yourself.

  22. “trying TOO hard” -that one was for you steven. for the sake of clarity.

  23. “tessa”… ! Uh… okay!

  24. Hey, “tessa-ali-jasmine-lita-whoever”, why don’t you come and leave a devastating critique over on my blog? I *promise* not to delete whatever you write (but please keep it down to less than 5,000 words)! Here’s the current blog, where I have comments going:

  25. huh???? if i felt like it would contribute a benefit to the wider society at large, i would. but no… you would actually be a waste of my time since you’re just wannabe illuminazi. sowwwrrry… 🙁

  26. Oh, “tessa”… I’m so disappointed in you! All that brainless hostility and no balls! All that yip-yip-yipping and no bite, little doggie!

    Well, I guess it’s back to “benefiting the wider society at large” (aka, hating on skinny white chicks) for you, then. Laugh!

  27. What in the actual fuck is going on in these comments?

  28. Wow, comments are a flame-war on this one…
    #2 = It depends on how you value what you get out of the relationship vs. what you get out of ‘total freedom’.

    Sometimes it’s really nice that someone gives a crap that you make it home safely. On rare occasions, it’s even okay that someone cares enough to hate your guts, as opposed to no one caring at all.

    I’ve been ‘totally free’ for quite a while, and haven’t found it any more gratifying than a decent relationship.

Leave a Reply