BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 75):
1. start saying ‘figuratively’ instead of ‘literally’… SINCE THAT’S WHAT YOU ACTUALLY MEAN!
2. the question is this: is a relationship worth more than total freedom?
3. sometimes spending the night at your boyfriend’s house is the equivalent of going on holiday… or at least a trip to the spa!
4. if a friend says ‘will you give me a ride to the airport?’ the correct response is ‘no. but I’ll give you money to take a cab.’
5. do I really have to tell you how I feel about tribal tattoos?
6. never EVER use the word ‘event’ when referring to something you went to the night before, are going to, or attended in general. it will ONLY make you sound like someone a worth-while person doesn’t want to know.
7. never EVER cut your own bangs… unless you’re really good at it. in which case… cut mine?
8. people! don’t cross diagonally on a horizontal cross walk! It slows everything down! stay within the lines you fucking selfish assholes! you make it super confusing for cars to make right turns! how about everyone STARTS being a LITTLE BIT MORE SELF AWARE! YEAH! ALL. MOTHERFUCKIN’. CAPS.
9. dudes (and lesbians), get rid of your Justin Bieber floppy mop tops! Even Justin Bieber got rid of the Justin Bieber!
10. none of my business, but I’D say: wait until she loves you before you show off your break dancing skills.
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