BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 76):

1. dudes! When sexxxting, or EVER, never refer to a girls pussy/privates/vagina or cunt as her ‘pussy hole’! It’s sooo gross! ‘Pussy’ will suffice! The word ‘pussy’ INCLUDES the hole!

2. weight gain is not allowed in a relationship. When you enter into a relationship, you should only get better or at LEAST stay at the shitty point you entered it in. This weight gain rule goes for men AND women. Men, you say you don’t like ‘fatties’. Well fuck you. Neither do we. So drink a little less beer and stop it with all the crap food… And see how many more blow jobs you get standing up now that your tummy’s not resting on your (nearly ex) girlfriends head! You’re welcome. Both of you should keep each other in check! Her thighs get big, she has a muffin top, this affects how attracted you are to her. He has a spare tire, he crushes you when he’s on top of you, you can’t find his dick cuz it’s engulfed in fat and he’s sweating all over you… That affects you! It’s unattractive! It just is. So eat a little less, steam, walk, stop with the alcohol, don’t eat chips/fast food/soda/too much bread, pasta,rice, and take care of your fucking body. IT MATTERS!

PS: This does not include pregnancy, unless it’s an accidental pregnancy that the boy doesn’t want but the girl insists on having. in which case, this weight gain will be a relationship ruiner as well.

3. super market baggers: I know your job isn’t ideal, but isn’t it a cool idea to excel at what you do? Here’s a tip: weight distribution between bags is key! and when bagging individual bags, always remember: heaviest stuff on the bottom, lightest stuff on top is key. sounds SO SIMPLE! but you’d be surprised!

4. enough with the short in the front, long in the back dresses/skirts. they suck! and that makes YOU suck!

5. don’t wear lots of heavy cologne/perfume. One spritz and you’re done.

6. it’s all about elle Macpherson intimates!

7. for those of you new to los Angeles, and even for those of you who aren’t in the know: coffee houses such as ‘stir crazy’ and ‘the bourgeois pig’ are loser epicenters. don’t get caught where you don’t think you belong.

8. every time you do something weird or gross, or ANYTHING for that matter, in front of your computer… someone is watching you through the video camera. I mean, maybe. but probably. Just be careful. you’ve been warned.

9. people can think they know everything about you… But keep some stuff to yourself, ok? That’s what I do. er, i mean… that’s what my therapist tells me to do.

10. don’t use the term ‘horns’ or ‘horny’. both are SUCH a clitoral hard-off!

ps:

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14 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 76):”

  1. No weight gain in a relationship, really? Literally right before reading this I took my last dose of prednisone which is a steroid and made me gain weight super fast! No matter what I ate/ how much I exercised, the weight kept coming. I had a boyfriend throughout most of the time (I broke up with HIM, nothing to do with the weight gain/meds), and he actually embraced it. He loved my new curves, and sympathized with my fruitless struggle to fight the weight gain. So think before you post stupid shallow shit like that. Normally I love the blind leading the blind but it’s shit like this that makes me want to stop reading.


  2. jp, I agree that it was a little shallow, but I think she was trying to hit on the “don’t let yourself go just because you’re in a comfortable relationship” kinda thing. Like, be your best (and healthiest) version even when there is no one to impress.

    Alexi’s own body image issues are super apparent through her past writings, so this one isn’t shocking.


  3. Yo, JP stop making it personal. It’s her thoughts on her blog. Chill. Furthermore the entire blog is shallow…If that’s what makes you want to stop reading, perhaps this isn’t where you need to be. Are you sure you typed in the correct web address? Peace


  4. Like JP, I had a boyfriend who LOVED it when I gained a few pounds. But I also had one who thought as a size 4, I was too fat and needed to lose weight. So it really is a matter of the person in question, and things like ideal body size and shape are just too subjective to generalize about in my opinion. But I do agree that it’s important to keep taking care of yourself when you’re in a long-term relationship. I know too many couples who went from being hot and interesting to boring and homely because they got comfortable and lazy. No good.


  5. “And see how many more blow jobs you get standing up now that your tummy’s not resting on your (nearly ex) girlfriend’s head!”

    This is a caption in search of a NYer cartoon.


  6. “enough with the short in the front, long in the back dresses/skirts. they suck! and that makes YOU suck!”
    RIGHT ON!!!!


  7. Amen to number 4! Why?! So heinous!


  8. #5 – Thank you. If I get in an elevator and can tell you were in it at some point in the last 30 minutes… you have a problem. And If I can smell you coming down the hall before you come into view, you have a problem. Yes, it’s a worse problem if it’s BO, but it’s still a major problem if it’s something you sprayed/splashed/rubbed on.


  9. Hey! #’s 1 through 10! AKA all of the above! Shut the fuck up! THANK YOU!!!


  10. COMPLETELY agree with #5! it’s just really unpleasant and the one who is wearing it is the only one who doesn’t notice


  11. If jp stops reading your blog because of #2, I’m going to start reading it because of #2 . . . BAM! just cancelled her out.


  12. Regarding the no weight gain in relationships thing- I think it’s bullshit, but she’s gotta be joking, right? Even half-joking? Surely.


  13. I think that No2 stands for TOO much weight gaining.
    An important number of people thinks that gaining weight and not giving a shit about yourself means not giving a shit about the person you’re with. And that’s gross.


  14. #4 THANK YOU THEY ARE NOT CUTE


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