BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 78):
1. sometimes when your sarcasm is so advanced, people actually think you’re stupid. this happens to me ALL the time.
2. sometimes ‘buffering’ is god trying to tell you not to watch that mob wives clip on YouTube. but sometimes you have to be like ‘fuck off god.’ and press play.
3. always be a LITTLE bit fat, so the baby fat in your face gives you a youthful edge!
4. you can banter, be friends with, and let the charismatic kooky guy entertain you, but NEVER choose him over the guy who loves you, would do anything for you, and who actually makes you feel safe. one is a figment of your imagination, who will lose interest in you in a heartbeat. and the other is the real thing.
5. don’t let the progression of the year STOP you from saying the best bullshit banter opener ever: ’happy new year!’
6. sitting next to someone while they play you a song they think you should totally hear, is always so awkward! what are you supposed to do? just sit there? look at the device the music is coming out of? bop? tap your foot? look at your lap? all of the above? it’s just too much! or maybe i’m just over thinking it. either way, i prefer listening to music alone in my car.
7. if a dude asks you if you i-chat, it means he wants to fuck you. your dad included.
8. ”If you want to do anything right, you have to put your heart and soul into it. There are always challenges, and you have to be prepared to go to the wall and be on your knees to get something done correctly, so if you don’t love something then it’s just going to feel like a form of torture with no reward. Love your work and no sacrifice will be too big or too small. My other advice is: if you want the job done right, do it yourself. Sorry to use that tired old cliché, but it is true.” – Madonna
9. always clear your computer history. even if you AREN’T up to no good.
10. try your hardest not to unnecessarily complicate your life: with people, with habits, with bad choices in general.