BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 80):

1. never text your boyfriend/or ANYONE for that matter, that you got home safe while you’re walking from your car to your house. Wait till you ACTUALLY get safely inside.

2.one of my favorite weird moments during a make-out sesh is the classic: ‘what are you thinking about?’ ‘Nothing. What are YOU thinking about?’ ‘Nothing.’ (Silence; as both minds continue to reel. Kissing resumes.)

3. don’t ignore all the good stuff and only zero in on the assholes and shit talkers. Rise above. Like that song by candy from real housewives of atlanta.

4. is thinking in terms of ‘forever’ detrimenral to a relationship… or romantic?

5. no one ever says, i wanna be a junkie when i grow up. except for those annoying kids at school who are like all crying out for attention and want to sound all dangerous and badass or whatevs. you know, like all my ex boyfriends!

6. no one ever says, ‘when i grow up, i wanna be an american apparel model.’ who am i kidding?! of course they do! they shouldnt, but they do!

7. just like you shouldn’t refer to something that’s lame as ‘gay’ you shouldnt refer to someone you think is weak as ‘a pussy’. It’s insulting to women. i mean, that’s what some girl e-mailed me… but i’ll probably keep calling people pussies for at least six more months.

8.  balloon animals are sooooo phallic! Keep them away from your kidz you weirdo creeps!

9. most of the time people are so annoying that it’s weird when I actually sit down next to people at a cafe or wherevs, overhear their conversation, and instead of cringing, think ‘these people are ok. if i wasn’t at friend capacity, I might almost like them enough to consider being friends. almost.’

10. I’m sorry, I tried, but I don’t believe in wearing full coverage undies when wearing jeans. I only wear tight jeans, and full coverage undies would show, thus creating visible panty lines. so, ALWAYS wear thongs/g-strings/whatever you wanna call them, when wearing pants or leggings. BUT always have a super sexy pair of red or black or blush colored normal/low rider/hipster/ proper non thong undies in your purse to change into at the drop of a hat in case you end up in someone’s bedroom rolling around topless and intertwined.

PS: Watch me get strangled by aubrey plaza in a blanket of pink mist…

pps: tweet @FATHERJOHNMISTY and ask him who this song was inspired by…

ppps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy 

pppps: i love you


17 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 80):”

  1. AHAHAHAHA @ #5 !
    God Alexi, I’ve missed your Blind Leading The Blind! :)
    Always practical, and always amusing.
    Love you,
    x


  2. you shouldn’t refer to something that you think is bad as “lame,” either. it’s offensive to people with disabilities.


  3. Wait… Why are we changing back into the full briefs?


  4. In regards to #7. . . From the other side of the coin, we call someone a dick” if he/she is an “asshole.” Stop overthinking words! Words are only as offensive as you make them.


  5. P.S. of course some words are worth your emotions / worth taking offense. but all private parts are used to demean all genders, so is it worth it?


  6. that video is all sorts of magical.


  7. #9…My exact feelings about other people.

    Great song and video!! Loved the pearl biting.


  8. Sharing that video, it is a magical bloodbath.


  9. I agree with Grace… the source and intent is more important than the words. Some people never use nasty words but have a mean and petty heart… and some sweet people have gutter mouths.
    That’s the damage that ‘political correctness’ causes… our litigative mentality makes us focus on the the superficiality of the syntax and not the deeper intent.
    Genital references are rude & crude, but you only let set someone demean your gender if you give their words more due than they deserve.
    If you hear someone call someone else a “cunt” in public, do you feel like you’ve learned more about the speaker or their target ? Most people who aim to demean others are throwing boomerangs…


  10. Oh, wow, hmm. Are these your little aphorisms? Pretty gay!


  11. Nope, I still gotta call a guy a pussy if he is being a puss. I can’t call him a twat or a cunt, so pussy it is. Sorry.


  12. Watching THE GAY DIVORCEE (1934). Ginger Rogers dope…


  13. wait .. why change underwear? not sure i get #10.


  14. Only 6 days till B’day . . . how can you leave gift-givers hanging? The Christmas list must be filled. All BCR fans should share the Father John Misty song.


  15. @JULIA

    BCUZ THONGZ/G-STRINGZ AREN’T CUTE. UNLESS YOU CATCHA GLIMPSE OF ONE POPPIN OUT OF HER JEANZ.

    ROLL AROUND FROLIC MAKE OUT SESH CALLS FOR CUTE PANTIES DUHHH


  16. BECAUSE GRANDMOTHER UNDERWEAR IS TRENDY AND HIPSTER AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE THE ANSWERS TO ALL LIFE’S KEY FUCKING QUESTIONS.


  17. You shouldn’t use the word ‘pussy’.
    When you use the word ‘pussy’, you’re blowing a perfectly good opportunity to use the word ‘puss’.
    Give it a whirl if the mood strikes. I hope it does.


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