BLOG » when the most beautiful young hipster boy who is religious & waiting until marriage to have sex met the most boycrazy girl in the world:
It’s me the skater boy you met yesterday.
Firstly I wanted to say that I am flattered that you would want to interview me (or whatever you said)
for your blog.
Ask much as I would like to, I’m going to have to pass on this.
Before you think of me as a complete douche…………..
Incase you didn’t overhear me talking, I moved to LA to do youth work
as intern at a church here in LA.
We have just recently finished a series as a part of our weekly program
called Sex & Nacho’s (talking about sex and eating nachos to avoid awkwardness)
which encourages having sex only when being married.
We also encourage them to do their best in steering clear of pornographic imagery
simply from the point of view that it gives a false perception of sex with your average person
and can be a hindrance in a relationship later down the track and cause it can simply
mess with your heart too much.
After viewing your site, I would be more than happy to talk to you about whatever you wanted to know
about me, however due to my current job placement, I do not want to be deemed as hypocritical
and have confusion on what I have presented to these young people in being linked to your blog/site.
Having said that I found your site, quite eye-opening and enthralling!
You have a wonderful presence and it was a pleasure meeting you!
Dear Skater Boy,
No worries. I totally understand you not wanting to be on my website. However… no sex before marriage? but why? Where are you from? Why do you feel this is the way? And what IS allowed sexually before marriage? What are the boundaries? What if you wait till marriage and the sex is horrible? Just asking to gain clarity on a way that I don’t quite understand.
Well honestly speaking I believe God created sex.
And that he wants us to have great sex!!
But in the right context.
Putting my religious beliefs aside let me give you an example why I personally am waiting.
I dated a girl when i was 18 and it was my first real relationship. She was quite a shy and timid girl. People thought of her as a sweet good girl.
We would often make out and ‘hold’ each other for lengthy periods of time.
For me (and her), never having sex before … that was great and exciting.
We never put our hands down each others pants….etc.
But soon I realised I liked this girl simply cuz of the physical-ness. Not the relationship itself.
I was planning on breaking up with her one day and didn’t.
Long story short, i found out she kissed a guy at college! Not just once, but on three separate occasions while we were dating!
I remember the day after i found out, my heart-felt like someone was literally squeezing it in their hand as hard as they could.
Something I’ve never felt before……
Its made me think…..
When we made out, it wasnt as ‘smooth’ or well-executed as you see in movies, but…. it was amazing.
In the end was it worth it?
For me….. no.
So now I am waiting to meet a girl who I enjoy the relationship with first, before physical-ness. (Of course I want someone attractive! ha)
And by that, I mean I know 100 percent that I want to marry her.
I’m not worried about sex being bad when married cuz she’s gonna be the only girl I have sex with the rest of my life!
Sure in the future it could be mundane or less exciting. But that’s what marriage is. You work at comprising (or truly loving) your partner.
And work on ways for your sex to get better.
Now I’m not saying its easy not having sex. I’m a male. i basically think about it everyday. I’ve dabbled in pornography and i catch my self
scanning an attractive girl walking past me. But ive trained/training myself to be everything I can for my future wife.
And I making sure that girls i encounter must meet the standard I’ve set for a future wife. They don’t have to be perfect, but I want someone who also
wants to give them-self fully to me and dedicated just as much as I will be to them.
It’s all about love and respect. In most cases. Girls just need true love. And guys need true respect.
It can work. I know numerous of cases where people have waited, married and still love each other and are having great sex!
As disgusting as it is to think of….. my parents are that case.
A simple point of view I have on boundaries (without getting too technical) is….
Not allowing one body part entering into another persons body.
Some Christians take this quite literal and don’t even kiss with tongue!
I’m slightly more liberal.
Having said all this, I personally feel that I found a love like no other.
The love I feel from God is literally out of this world. I have deep peace that transcends all my understanding.
The relationship I have with Jesus casts out all of my fear, guilt and shame.
He loves me truly for who I am and satisfies me like no sex, porno or girl could ever do.
Not everyday is easy and peaceful, but it’s a relationship worth fighting for.
Not all Christians love and respect people the way they should, but God can love and restore you unlike any other.
Hope that shed some light on where I’m coming from.