BLOG » when the most beautiful young hipster boy who is religious & waiting until marriage to have sex met the most boycrazy girl in the world:
Hey Alexi!
It’s me the skater boy you met yesterday.
Firstly I wanted to say that I am flattered that you would want to interview me (or whatever you said)
for your blog. 
Ask much as I would like to, I’m going to have to pass on this.
Before you think of me as a complete douche…………..
Incase you didn’t overhear me talking, I moved to LA to do youth work
as intern at a church here in LA.
We have just recently finished a series as a part of our weekly program
called Sex & Nacho’s (talking about sex and eating nachos to avoid awkwardness)
which encourages having sex only when being married.
We also encourage them to do their best in steering clear of pornographic imagery
simply from the point of view that it gives a false perception of sex with your average person
and can be a hindrance in a relationship later down the track and cause it can simply
mess with your heart too much.
After viewing your site, I would be more than happy to talk to you about whatever you wanted to know
about me, however due to my current job placement, I do not want to be deemed as hypocritical
and have confusion on what I have presented to these young people in being linked to your blog/site.
Having said that I found your site, quite eye-opening and enthralling!
You have a wonderful presence and it was a pleasure meeting you!
-Skater boy
Dear Skater Boy,
No worries. I totally understand you not wanting to be on my website. However… no sex before marriage? but why? Where are you from? Why do you feel this is the way? And what IS allowed sexually before marriage? What are the boundaries? What if you wait till marriage and the sex is horrible? Just asking to gain clarity on a way that I don’t quite understand.
-Alexi
Hi Alexi,
Well honestly speaking I believe God created sex.
And that he wants us to have great sex!!
But in the right context.
Putting my religious beliefs aside let me give you an example why I personally am waiting.
I dated a girl when i was 18 and it was my first real relationship. She was quite a shy and timid girl. People thought of her as a sweet good girl.
We would often make out and ‘hold’ each other for lengthy periods of time.
For me (and her), never having sex before … that was great and exciting.
We never put our hands down each others pants….etc.
But soon I realised I liked this girl simply cuz of the physical-ness. Not the relationship itself.
I was planning on breaking up with her one day and didn’t.
Long story short, i found out she kissed a guy at college! Not just once, but on three separate occasions while we were dating!
I remember the day after i found out, my heart-felt like someone was literally squeezing it in their hand as hard as they could.
Something I’ve never felt before……
Its made me think…..
When we made out, it wasnt as ‘smooth’ or well-executed as you see in movies, but…. it was amazing.
In the end was it worth it?
For me….. no.
So now I am waiting to meet a girl who I enjoy the relationship with first, before physical-ness. (Of course I want someone attractive! ha)
And by that, I mean I know 100 percent that I want to marry her.
I’m not worried about sex being bad when married cuz she’s gonna be the only girl I have sex with the rest of my life!
Sure in the future it could be mundane or less exciting. But that’s what marriage is. You work at comprising (or truly loving) your partner.
And work on ways for your sex to get better.
Now I’m not saying its easy not having sex. I’m a male. i basically think about it everyday. I’ve dabbled in pornography and i catch my self
scanning an attractive girl walking past me. But ive trained/training myself to be everything I can for my future wife.
And I making sure that girls i encounter must meet the standard I’ve set for a future wife. They don’t have to be perfect, but I want someone who also
wants to give them-self fully to me and dedicated just as much as I will be to them.
It’s all about love and respect. In most cases. Girls just need true love. And guys need true respect.
It can work. I know numerous of cases where people have waited, married and still love each other and are having great sex!
As disgusting as it is to think of….. my parents are that case.
A simple point of view I have on boundaries (without getting too technical) is….
Not allowing one body part entering into another persons body.
Some Christians take this quite literal and don’t even kiss with tongue!
I’m slightly more liberal.
Having said all this, I personally feel that I found a love like no other.
The love I feel from God is literally out of this world. I have deep peace that transcends all my understanding.
The relationship I have with Jesus casts out all of my fear, guilt and shame.
He loves me truly for who I am and satisfies me like no sex, porno or girl could ever do.
Not everyday is easy and peaceful, but it’s a relationship worth fighting for.
Not all Christians love and respect people the way they should, but God can love and restore you unlike any other.
Hope that shed some light on where I’m coming from.
-Skater Boy
Skater Boy is making a big mistake.
Skater boy needs to use spellcheck
Mad respek, skater boy. Mad respek. I’m not religious at all..don’t even believe in the god you love. But this kind of a personal relationship that stays personal with religion deserves that respek.
To each their own.
This dude seems alright.
I mean, no sense in fuckin’ for the sake of fuckin’ if you aren’t into, well, fuck’s sake.
I can respect Skater Boy for his decision to wait. I’m not religious at all, but “to each his own”. I love sex, and I’m an unwed sexual being. I like the idea of having sex with the person I love for the rest of my life, but I’d like to try out some other people before I settle down with one person…that is all
I pray on my knees with my mouth open. Often, God’s gift lands on my face and hair. Praise him!
Hm. Well, to each his own, I guess. The funny thing is – sometimes I think I really like a guy, and then we fuck or make out or whatever I realize it was just physical. and that’s fine. And there actually was a time when I thought I was really into a guy, and made some grandiose statements of affection to him – and then realized it was just because I really wanted to sleep with him but couldn’t for a long time because we lived really far away from each other.
Anyway, to sum up… I don’t think any amount of Jesus or God or marriage can keep you from getting hurt. You’re gonna get hurt, and probably a lot, if you put yourself out there and live life to the fullest. And hell, maybe for this guy praying and eating nachos is living life to the fullest… but I know I definitely wouldn’t be into it.
On a slightly OT note… a while ago I slept with a guy more or less on the first date and afterwards it didn’t go so well. A couple of my friends said it was because I “let him” sleep with me – as if it weren’t my decision, and I couldn’t agree with them less. Holding out on someone isn’t going to make them love or respect you. I think if I was going out with the sort of guy who respected me less for having sex with him early on I wouldn’t want to be with that guy. Live long and prosper, friends. Wishing you all a lifetime of good love and great sex.
Skater Boy, is the story about your 18 year old relationship meant to imply you are glad you didn’t sleep with her because she broke your trust?
Unfortunately trust can be broken at any stage of a relationship.
One might even argue that it’s somewhat easier to commit to only one person physically after you’ve given yourself a few other experiences. Experience does help to quell the lustful curiosity most humans experience.
There have certainly been times in my marriage where I’ve daydreamed about what another man would be like. In those times I call upon my past to remind me that, compared to what else is out there, what I have is pretty damn good.
i don’t understand the high premium he is putting on sex but hey, if that’s how he wants to live his life…..more power to him.
hold on a sec… boys just need respect, girls just need love. So…. girls don’t need respect??? And boys don’t need love??? Way to oversimplify.
Keep religion out of the bed. Thanks.
“It’s all about love and respect. In most cases. Girls just need true love. And guys need true respect.”
WHAT???????? agreed with georgie!
i’m sorry, but, you should have both of these things no matter the gender.
way to sound patriarchal. l8er sk8er!
Wow. Just…wow. Impressive. Good for him. People should do what feels right, as long as they are not being brainwashed, that is! Seems like a genuinely sweet person, and his “future wife” is a lucky woman…
I’m really glad this was posted. I’m a Christian/waiting for marriage and a reader of this blog and a lot of the time i can’t relate to what’s written here but i still think Alexi gives solid advice so i keep reading. I agree 100% with what this guy said and am relieved to find out there’s some other people out there who feel the same way. Thanks for shedding some light on this issue!
there is so much wrong with this, um
whomp whomp whomp.
Alexi, I’m so glad you posted this, not because I agree with this. At all. This is freaking ridiculous. There shouldn’t be this much pressure put on the idea or this much weight. Sex is about having fun. I think waiting is the dumbest thing a person could do, and his story about the girl doesnt even make sense…?
I agree with what kelly (above) said.
this shit is wack, and people need to realize this. thank you for posting.
You guys are brain-dead!
I believe in god, which ever one there is out there I dont care, it can be light or energy I believe there is something bigger and I think skater boy is doing something we ..or at least ME cant do.
And that I admire.
Im reading this book on Willpower , it is something you can actually train and I´m telling you it would have gotten me out of loads of mess hahah.
But no, I follow my instincts the smell the pheromones or just this tingling in my gut that makes me want to do something fun and exciting and that is expressed through having sex with people that are new and challenging, that i have to figure out…
A lot of times though its not only sharing a physical experience but to have good , mind blowing sex you have to understand the person your sleeping with, you give him what he wants you figure out what he needs, does his ego need a boost so you let him come on your tits or whisper naughty hot words about his size in his ear..or is he feeling sensitive and wants to be kissed gently and wrapp my whole body around him, the same with the girl …
I sometimes have this feeling that at least to me its about giving, even if the person is not the love of my life, he is human, he has feelings he has a soul and making love is at least to me not about taking ” what is mine/my satisfaction” but a mutual gift..
obviously some deserve it more than other and some appriciate it more than others…
Sometimes you make love sometimes you fuck, it ´s all don ewith care and respect all is good.
Either way sometimes I wish I could have waited for “that one” not because I regret anything, not at all, but the VALUES that come with that kind of dedication and compromise to a relationship are beautiful and I feel , everyday more harder to find.
VALUES…where are they going Alexi ?
“I’m not worried about sex being bad when married cuz she’s gonna be the only girl I have sex with the rest of my life” lying c*nt!!!
so, only buttsex before marriage? got it!
-impressionable teen
Is it just me or did he seem to equate moral caliber strictly with sex? In that not having sex before marriage = strong morals, having sex before marriage = weak morals?
“And I making sure that girls i encounter must meet the standard I’ve set for a future wife. They don’t have to be perfect, but I want someone who also
wants to give them-self fully to me and dedicated just as much as I will be to them.” … By them not “being perfect” does that mean they do not have to be a virgin?
I can respect his choice (although the logic for it/ reasoning behind it seems a little jumbled) however I cannot respect him placing so much significance on his future wife being a virgin, because in all honesty what impact does it have on one’s personality/intelligence/ambition etc??
so does this mean he would eat me out but i wouldn’t have to s his d
Okay, I didn’t read most of this because this kid was obviously born in some kind of barn, but you went from speaking at a high school to picking up on this dude in some kind of street encounter? Seriously?
GREAT POST! FUN READ
“The love I feel from God is literally out of this world. I have deep peace that transcends all my understanding.”
So all those millions and millions of innocent children who have been, for example, abused and/or murdered, randomly, pointlessly and often anonymously since, say, 1 AD: “God” just wasn’t into them that much? But “He” loves you? Dude, you’re so special!
Which makes me think of every time I’ve read online news about some entire family being wiped out in a fire or an earthquake or whatever but one newly-orphaned kid survived, “miraculously”, and these idiotic Christians (for whom almost *everything* transcends “understanding”), in the comment thread, write “praise the lord” or “my Jesus is mighty” or something equally nauseating. I mean, if “God” saved the kid, “He” also slaughtered the kid’s family, right?
Oh, and PS, it makes “Him” happy if you don’t use your (or anyone else’) genitals (those wicked things “He” designed) unless you have a contract with The State, right?
Hey, Dude… are you *sure* your Superstition wasn’t designed by primitive people reacting to harsh conditions in a world they knew almost nothing about (ie, had they known they were on an insignificant patch of an insignificant planet in an insignificant solar system on the edge of an insignificant galaxy among billions of galaxies in the known universe, would they really have theorized that events of cosmic magnitude were happening in local caves or near local bushes)? Just wondering.
Right on Matt!
It is funny how someone (Alexi?) might think that putting up a few posts might distract us from the questionable haphazard narrative established throughout this blog but- but nope it doesn’t….
“You went from speaking at a high school to picking up on this dude in some kind of street encounter? Seriously?
Matt, Elle, you guys are hitting the nail on the head.
“You went from speaking at a high school to picking up on this dude in some kind of street encounter? Seriously?”
Alexi, you can’t actually expect anyone to believe that you are serious or responsible enough to be a sounding board for young people. Not only are you objectifying youngsters on your blog, you are also biased.
Even if this ‘boy’ has his own agenda, isn’t that something you promote with this slogan: “Do you!”
Why question his motives, aren’t they obvious?
Even if you don’t agree with his sex agenda, he is happy with his decision. He took the time to politely write to you and explain his point of view. For personal and professional reasons he did not want to be a part of your blog. I respect that.
More people (especially minors) should closely examine their objectives when sharing private information on the internet. If you follow the news, internet issues concerning professionals in the field of education, and for the safety of children are the current affairs. Especially in relationship to sex and online discretion, how could you, Alexi, possibly be a model with regard to internet discretion?
Alexi, I am so happy you put this on your blog! with all the pressure there is out there to have sex, it’s refreshing to read about someone who’s waiting. This is truly enlightening.
@”elle”: your link is dead. Can you fix it and re-post? Curious about your blog.
^ Very possible the blogger above is a the blog of a CIA spook living abroad -what stake he has in this website -one can only venture to know… Go to his “video” section and look at the mind control shit he’s up to. In this website I no trusteeeee….
Dang Steve, do you hate Christianity much? Here’s the thing though Steve-o: All that hate doesn’t add up if you actually ENJOYED being an altar boy! Or did you have more fun with Coach Sandusky at football camp? You obviously do not have much faith in your own convictions if you have to tear down another’s that you don’t agree with. Make your own candle burn brighter ass-hole without blowing out some one else’s. You take one idea out of what the kid is saying and make THAT the focus of your commentary? You are a douche bag of the first order sir!
Now make some stupid-assed pseudo-intellectual condescending response that will make you feel like your superiority complex is still in tact Personally I would prefer you just stick to correcting people’s spelling, grammar and diction. Du Scheise kopf!
Why is it so difficult for some people that grasp the reality that there are MANY people in today’s society who are still very religious?
Christianity is the most practiced religion in the United States, and millions of people live by the rules of the bible. Does this mean EVERYONE has to do so? Absolutely not! (I know I don’t…)
What we all DO need to do, is respect people who choose to do so AS LONG AS they do not impose their beliefs on others (separation of church and government, anyone?) Every individual lives by a different code of values and morals….and this is ok!!
I liked the majority of skater boy’s response. He was simply stating his reasons as to WHY he choose to not participate in pre-marital marriage..is there anything so wrong with that? What I do find to be wrong is judging him and criticizing his beliefs!! Let this young boy be!
Just as many people here have stated that ‘Sex is for fun’ and that it’s ‘not serious’..those are your beliefs! Good for you! Now please, don’t try to impose them on me. I personally believe sex is a serious matter and not to be enjoyed with numerous amounts of people. As a 23 year old I am not a virgin, but have had sex with a very small number of men in my life. I haven’t had one night stands, and have never had sex with a man on the first (or second, or third, or fifth) date. I’ve waited months with each man until I felt comfortable and serious enough in the relationship. AND THAT’S OK. That’s just me.
Want to go out and have one-night stands? Go do it! Have fun! I won’t judge you as long as you don’t judge me…or skater boy.
ah…. the old purity myth….
http://feministing.com/2011/12/06/the-purity-myth-the-documentary/
I’d recommend watching the video. I practically feel bad for this kid.
ah…. the old purity myth….
http://feministing.com/2011/12/06/the-purity-myth-the-documentary/
I’d recommend watching the video. I practically feel bad for this kid.
I am so curious as to what his standards are – he sounds lovely but what if the love of his life isn’t abstinent when they meet? In this day and age, he’s narrowing market a lot!!! I hope he finds what he’s looking for…
LOL @”Scott” (or is it “elle”, “jasmine”, “lita”?) : address the substance of my argument, if you can. Can you? Of course not. The difference between spit-spraying ad hominems and a *valid argument* is that only the latter can “hurt” (refute) my comment.
If you’re too stupid to even understand the essence of my comment (about the arrogance hiding behind the pseudo-benevolence of Skater Boy’s self-appointed “valued client” status with JHVH), you’re too stupid to even come close to pissing me off.
Hug!
PS Oh, look: God doing awesome shit again…
http://news.yahoo.com/tornado-tragedy-child-ripped-mothers-arms-baby-found-131834765–abc-news.html
You sound pretty schitzt out Steve! Who are these “people” you’re imagining? Is there not more than one commenter here who disagrees? The world’s not as zombied-out as you would have it: YET Go get some help; no one’s too stupid to understand your clichéd-ass “pseudo-intellectual” journal observations unless those said entires are too stupid to make sense which is most of the time… WE GET IT: You’re a trendy, abortion loving atheist -good for you, man! You know what? As long as you believe that, and do that, and other world citizens can do and say what they want and they believe, we should be fine. Just don’t act like such a neo-fascist sociopath when you get on imboycrazy.com.
Thanks, Baby! Keep me chuckling!
Wrong again Steve. Not everyone who calls you out is the same person. I usually let your blather slide right by me, but I had to put your dumb ass on point with this one. As always your vocab is pretentious, your arrogance laughable, and your conjecture completely without substance. Just to clarify to you, I am older, more educated, funnier, and probably better looking than you. You are a putz. Dip shits like you are justifiable fodder for bullies.
“Just to clarify to you, I am older, more educated, funnier, and probably better looking than you.”
Thanks, Scotty! You are *definitely* funnier!
Maybe tweeting and blogging isn’t the best thing for try-hard style people who want to look smart ^ …Geek WAS sheik, but, clearly, dumb is dominant. Wanna be popular in America, kids? Be really dumb and agree with everything all the other dumb people say: that’s called a “consensus!”
Major respect, skater boy. It’s great to see that there are still some people saving themselves for their future wife/husband. Preach it like you mean it (which you really do).
Also if this guy was tall, I’m sorry Alexi. I know you’re always looking for tall, super hot guys, who can handle your baby (your blog).
#SteerClearOfPornographicImageryB
“Geek WAS sheik”
Am I really supposed to debate any issue (deeper than the Oscars) with someone who thinks that “chic” is spelled “sheik”? (And, re: my “tweeting and blogging”, many of the readers of my discreet little blogs are undergrads; one of my steady “lurkers” teaches high school in Florida and writes me articulate emails a few times each year).
I made a comment critical of (the essentially nonsensical paradoxes of) Christianity. Anyone here A) learned enough B) rational enough C) articulate enough to refute the actual fundamental points of my critique?
And, obviously, what an illiterate person thinks of as “pretentious” or “try-hard” will reflect more on their own (non) education than the intended target. I know this isn’t exactly “The Valve” or “Language Hat”, here, but are so many really that dim?
Just because *you* don’t have an education/ career/ coherent worldview, do you really assume that no one else does, or can…? Yes, I’m an expat, and for a very good reason: America is becoming a third world dump of low-IQ, over-emotional (and over-medicated) grease-eaters (aka: a permanent Oprah Audience). “From the trailer parks to the hood”… surely that should be a phrase featured in the New National Anthem (except, you’d have to spell it “Nu Nashunal Anthum”, wouldn’t you?).
Wail and flail all you want, my little friends, but where are your intelligent counter-arguments? I say Skater Boy’s “goodness” is, in fact, thinly-veiled arrogance *and* misogyny (whether he knows it or not). And Christianity is an outmoded control mechanism for the masses… which is not to say that it doesn’t linger on in the form of bronze-age superstitions and anti-sex attitudes that wouldn’t be out of place in Tehran.
Have a nice day! laugh
this is inspiring.
(yawn)…you still talking Peeve? oh well you know what they say, “The bigger the bellow the smaller the fellow”
Tell it to me like I’m an overzealous seventh grader Steven. Put another slash in for emphasis, you fucktard.
Really, Stevie, what audience, exactly, are you trying to target in your claims? The “less than educated third world dump of low-IQ, over-emotional (and over-medicated) grease-eating permanent Opera ones?” If you really think that, than they why are you sitting here drooling over one of the progenitors of the movement (i.e. the writer of this blog)? That’s not very sheik.
hi, i’m orignally from berlin, germany, as you might be able to tell from my spelling and grammar, sorry about that, i see that some commenters are very explicit on this…
anyway, why i am writing here: steven, i think i know you!! i saw you in this like cool bar “fauxheme” in kreuzkölln like last week, you were like having an incredibly loud conversation about like something reeeeealy awwwesome with like 7 other “expats”. but maybe it wasn’t you, since berlin is so popular with guys just like you since a few years and somehow all of you sound and look the same.
But something really concerns me, this statement of yours:
“a third world dump of low-IQ, over-emotional (and over-medicated) grease-eaters (aka: a permanent Oprah Audience)”.
you should feel right at home then!!
that pretty much and unfortunately describes most of todays berlin to me, at least the areas i -and unfortunately your kind- frequent, like, of course, neukölln, kreuzberg, wedding, mitte, moabit. but also marzahn, hellersdorf, wilmersdorf. dahlem or zehlendorf maybe not so much.
since you consider yourself to be better than all those grease eaters, maybe it’s time for you to leave, like, today? please?? yes? awwwesome!!
“A pep talk” in the form of a slap in the face. I love my boy Jesus (provided that he is black & has sum grillz, right?)Too bad for Oakwood HS that I’m I’m an ex-atheist who was converted into agnosticism. Catholic girls & boys are quite funny when you use their own logic against them. Mirrors can be made into swords, provided you write with the right pen. “Beautiful” Thanks for your words. GUUUURRLLLL
(I tried rolling my r’s like a Mexican but I’m just a cholo that leans)
To whom It May Concern: “A pep talk” in the form of a slap in the face. I <3 my boy Jesus OMGZ!! D: (provided that he is black, 1/2 Kenyan 1/2 Arab, right?) He so cool!l1l!!!lll!!!ll1!!
Too bad for Oakwood HS (they suck) that I'm I'm an ex-atheist who was converted into agnosticism. Catholic girls & boys are quite funny when you use their own logic against them, specially in the shittier parts of "Amurrrricaaaahhhh! Can you guess which Oakwood Private HS I went to? FUCK YEAH, you cant. It is pretty easy.
Mirrors can be made into swords, provided you write with the right pen. "Beautiful" Thanks for your words, GUUUURRLLLL
. I tried rolling my RrRrRrRrRrRr's like a Mexican but I'm just a cholo that leans. Too bad I'm not stopping until March 20th so I can get my nigga Conney from NY elected in 2012! Uganda ≠ USA #KONY2012
Imma read imma read imma read. Yeah I called you a SLUT. Do something about it. I’m just talking sh*t
i cannot believe how many people are being rude about this. i am not religious at all either and i am not a virgin… but geez, if the guy wants this – respect his decision! way to go skater boy. sex is a serious thing to me and i’m surprised by all the people saying it’s just for fun. obviously this is the reason why we have such a problem with the rise in STDs….
Skater Boy–way to go dude. I completely respect and stand up for what you’re doing. I can’t believe all the douche comments–they don’t know what’s up. literally. I think you’ve enlightened some people though and your message is great, even if there were some typo’s. Keep on keeping’ on and keep the faith! X