BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 92):
1. dudes, don’t ASK to kiss a girl. it TOTALLY ruins the moment and makes you look like a pussy.
2. It’s so nice when you see your ex’s new girlfriend and they’re a TOTAL downgrade. #youwin!
3. Please don’t refer to the city of Philadelphia as ‘Philly’. It’s so annoying. i can’t quite explain why, but i’ll try: it just makes me feel gross. it makes me think of Philly cheese steak sandwiches (which i’ve never tried, but just look yuck), and Philly cream cheese (which i don’t even dislike), or a character from the wrong side of the tracks in a sitcom from the 70′s that i’m not even sure existed. also, it’s like you’re trying to achieve some level of intimacy between you, and another person, and even the city of Philadelphia itself that doesn’t/will never exist; ‘oh, you’re from Philly?! I’M from Philly!’
4. My best girlfriend thinks I should be ready to buy a house, but I’m barely in a place where I want to buy enough furniture to invite people over to my apartment.
5. Subconsciously, i think i’m always trying to be molly ringwald in ‘the breakfast club’ when i use chopsticks.
6. Guys, if you know a woman doesn’t like to hear “aw, you’re moody?! you must be about to start your period.” then you should ALSO know that she doesn’t want to hear you refer to an actress as hot either! #Somethingsarebetterleftunsaid
7. Listen, I know you hate yourself, but obsessively weighing yourself at the end of each day will only make you feel worse. It’s down right CRUEL! You’re SUPPOSED to obsessively weigh yourself FIRST thing in the morning every day! that way there’s nothing in your stomach and you’ll be your lowest weight of the day! Hooray!
8. girls! eat more bananas in public! it totally makes guys think about blow jobs! isn’t that crazy? i know!
9. there’s a chicness to simplicity.
10. when getting ready for a date, only listen to songs that were written about YOU! it’ll really help your self confidence!
ps: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy