BLOG » 30 ways to ensure people won’t like you:

1. tell someone they look tired.

2. drive past a girl who’s walking by herself and tell her girl to smile.

3. when your girlfriend says she’s not feeling well, tell her that her symptoms make it sound as though she may be pregnant, even if they don’t!

4. look at someone’s food in a judgmental way for a beat before you say, ‘wow, that’s a lot of food! you’re gonna eat all that?’

5. ask a stranger at a restaurant what they’re having for lunch and point your finger so close to their food you’re almost touching it with your dirty finger.

6. always show up late and don’t apologize or make any reference to it.

7. try to have anal sex with a girl after she tells you she’s not into it.

8.  while at a movie theatre, check your phone as much as possible: instagram, tweet, text, email- why limit yourself? and do this all with a super bright screen.

9. when meeting someone new, don’t ask anything about them, only talk about yourself.

10. be rude to a waitress or anyone in the service industry. doing this on a first date is especially good for ensuring no second date or sex.

11. tip poorly.

12. constantly refer to yoga, your higher power, or your therapist when all someone said to you was ‘hi. what’s new?’

13. while in public, be super aggressively opinionated. especially in front of people you’ve just met & are trying to impress. for example: your date’s friends or family.

14. always claim to know it all or have a general ‘know it all’ vibe that leaves you closed off and unwilling to talk to other people about their opinions, ideas, or point of view. listen to someone’s story and then reply with a story that shows just how much more you know on that subject.

15. leave your baby unattended, just plopped on top of the community table at m cafe, droopy diaper bum and all, just assuming people will watch your child for you- without even asking.

16. quote borat or Austin powers. not ironically.

17. be overly precious, sensitive, serious, and/or politically correct.

18. talk about your allergy to wheat or gluten without any sense of humor or self-awareness.

19. refuse to wear a condom.

20.  cheat.

21. be incapable of taking a hint.

22. be racist.

23. be homophobic.

24. get angry/defensive very easily and start fights when you feel the slightest bit insecure.

25. don’t tell someone you have a std before you have sex with them.

26. tell someone you’ll do something and then don’t do it.

27. offer advice to people who didn’t ask for it.

28. be an OVERT social climber.

29. only be nice to people when it serves you.

30. be sarcastic all the time.

•if you have one that i’ve yet to mention, please submit in the comment section. 

•follow me on twitter @imboycrazy


9 Responses to “30 ways to ensure people won’t like you:”

  1. lost track of how many times i said ‘damn right!’


  2. make passive agressive posts about friends on social media sites


  3. Completely ignore courteous gestures, such as the holding of an open door or providing right of way, act as if said kind person is totally invisible.


  4. My best friends always quote Austin Powers. I love them, Alexi.


  5. 21. Be a flighty girl who will never commit to a single guy because she is too busy trying to sleep her way to the top.


  6. Correct strangers’ pronunciation of loan-words

    talk really loudly about a private matter in public so everyone is forced to hear about it

    insist on pronouncing any loan-word or foreign term as if you spoke that language

    Call your s/o at work constantly nagging him/her to come home

    tell people with entry level jobs that their job “doesn’t matter”

    subtweet

    short-change people when splitting tabs or demanding they are calculated to the last cent

    insist that you are “ok to drive” when you clearly are not

    say inappropriate things in public spaces whene there is kids around

    ask people not to smoke in public spaces where smoking is allowed

    frequently make plans with someone only to cancel or ditch your company last minute if something better comes up


  7. #14..YES YES YES. This is why I don’t care for most people. The jerks I live with are exactly like this. I can’t tell talk about anything without then having to sit back and listen to a 10 minute lecture about their more informed opinion about the subject.


  8. Be always that straight that you can’t switch.

    Come slowly closer to the fontman/-women while being in a queue (it might goes faster then!).


  9. Belch or fart obnoxiously in front of people then laugh/joke about it by explaining how big of a pig you are. Ha ha. As if that’s cute…absolutely HATE that!


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