BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 96):
1. You can’t ask people whose life you don’t respect for advice. Anything they say can’t be taken seriously
2. One of the most annoying things is when someone laughs out loud at a text while sitting in a quiet waiting room full of strangers. FUCK YOU!!
3. when drunk at da club, before you take someone home with you, ask yourself this: ’do you just want to go home with him? or do you want to wake up in the morning with him?’ Let your answer dictate your next move. but whatever it is you choose, don’t end up at some shit diner eating a cheeseburger at 3am.
4. next time he asks for a naked pic, send a picture of you naked as a baby. It’ll do at LEAST one of three things: make him laugh, humanize you, or totally turn him off! good luck!
5. dear all my drunk friends, when you tweet at night and the next morning all those tweets have mysteriously disappeared from your feed because you’ve sobered up and are trying to cover up your sloppy drunken behavior…. people notice. #theinternetNEVERsleeps
6. i love when people KNOW they don’t photograph well. It saves us all a lot of ego stroking. know your face.
7. when a guy tells me he feels very comfortable around me, i get very uncomfortable. you should too.
8. NEVER agree to a first date with someone who isn’t good-looking, cuz you might actually LIKE them. or WORSE, fall in LOVE with them! and then where does that leave you? in love with an ugly person! unless they’re RICH or FAMOUS… then it’s ok.
9. if a guy wants to take you for fish tacos the morning after an epic night, but you don’t want to because you want coffee and breakfasty food like any other sane person would want when they’re hung over on a sunday after a crazy night of drinking lethal margaritas followed by champagne… just go with the flow and eat the fish tacos. here’s why: you might actually like them; saying ‘yes’ to the experience will make you you appear to be a fun girl who’s hassle free and easy to be with who tries new things on a whim; or BETTER YET, you might get food poisoning and lose seven pounds! either way… YOU WIN!
10. sleeping with an ex while dating someone new totally DOESN’T count as cheating. as long as you’re not adding a NEW person to your already too long list of people you’ve slept with, you’re in the clear.