BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 103):

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1. you know you don’t love him, or even like him very much, if before having sex you think: ‘ugh, but i JUST washed my sheets!’

2. while kissing a guy, if he happens to taste like heroin or  gets a flake of speed in your mouth… it’s time to move on.

3. nothing good ever happens at 7-11. stay away from that place!

4. one of the most brutal things to drive past in los angeles is someone getting their headshots taken outdoors. that’s what INDOORS is for.

5. you know you’re boycrazy when you find a pair of boxer shorts in your bedroom and you’re not exactly sure who they might belong to.

6. you know a guy’s a bonehead/loser/prick when you’re going to visit him in NY and he says ‘can you not come during fashion week? maybe the week after?’

7. only date guys who have never been married, with no kids, brothers, sisters, dogs, cats, pets in general, who are not close with their mom OR dad. this will keep you from having to compete with potentially annoying/powerful influences in their life. hopefully these lack of ties don’t mean he’s a serial killer, workaholic, or drug addict. but isn’t his not having a dog and or an overbaring parent/sibling/child/ex worth taking that chance? i thought so!

8. if you don’t have the time or money to go on a trip,  just go to a new part of the city you live in that you’ve never been to! i live in LA and am contemplating visiting Santa Monica and/or Reseda! exhilarating!

9. Girls: Just because you had sex with a guy doesn’t mean you have to crumble and spiral and give all your power away to him. It’s ok to still be happy, confident, strong, and to remember who you are/keep your self-worth afterwards. and if that’s hard for you or not possible, then don’t have sex with a dude; at least not until you feel really comfortable with him and secure with your decision to sexxx him. cuz even THEN you take the chance of him never calling you again or him losing interest. it’s scary out there and nothing’s guaranteed… so you have to check in with yourself and take care of you.

10. i know they feel cozy and safe, but getting back together/having sex with an ex is a recipe for disaster and what i refer to as ‘moving backwards’. trust your intuition/initial decision. it didn’t work out for a reason!


25 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 103):”

  1. Headshots do not have to be taken indoors.


  2. #7…. Dating a serial killer might actually be safer than dealing with the ex-wife of a momma’s boy! At least you know you only have one crazy dangerous person to deal with! :)


  3. wow who ever wrote this must have a shitty life and alot of time on there hands
    and some things said were heartless.


  4. well said. these are my favorite part of your blog.


  5. Wow, glad I don’t know you. You should probably just stop writing this indulgent blog. Stick to looking physically attractive so men the Internet over can masterbate to you, and stop pretending your not a complete tool yourself.


  6. Wow, glad I don’t know you. You should probably just stop writing this indulgent blog. Stick to looking physically attractive so men the Internet over can masterbate to you, and maybe own up to being a complete tool yourself.


  7. 7 and 9 are very important words to live by.


  8. wow this girl is one seriously conflicted whore


  9. awesome job posting soft-core porn of yourself veiled as some pathetic attempt at a joke.


  10. If you are kissing guys with heroin flakes in their mouth it is time for a reexamination of one’s life and choices, especially if you know the taste of heroin. If you finding guys underwear in your bedroom and do not know the origin it time for a real reexamination of one’s life. Also, you can’t complain if because of your lifestyle you contract the flu”so you have to check in with yourself and take care of you.”

    On this one I totally agree ”nothing good ever happens at 7-11. stay away from that place!” I was robbed at gun point for my bean and cheese burrito…..rrrrr…rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..nothing is sacred in this town.


  11. Dear Alexi,

    I’m stuck in a bit of a pickle, and I’m hoping you can help me out. Much as I try (and I’ve TRIED, believe me), I can’t seem to make peace with my life and my personality, and I feel disappointed in myself all the time. I don’t feel like I’m doing the world any good right now, and I don’t even know where to start. As a result, I spend a lot of time on the internet, insulting people I don’t know for the fleeting thrill of feeling better than someone else. I know that if I really want to feel good about myself permanently, I need to grow and mature rather than belittle others, but I have no idea how to do that. I know you’re just a pathetic, misguided whore, but do you think you can help me? Things are getting kind of desperate over here…


  12. What is it with all the creepy responses…from men?

    Trust me guys…or boys…your mom was either living the life Alexi lives or dreamed about living the life Alexi lives…before she put on the costume of soccer mom…

    oh, and the picture is art: the woman struggles to put on uncomfortable tights to meet the demands of the world…


  13. Oh, great post by the way. Always my favorite segment.


  14. i sure hope my mom was tasting heroin flakes in strange men’s mouths !

    dreamy !


  15. OK, t-rex, fine, maybe not that but you get what I mean.


  16. my mother did not live or ever dream about being a whore!!!
    if most moms do then i feel sorry for them
    and she hates soccer henry


  17. ha! i love that people think that’s a photo of alexi. that’s not her.


  18. preach it girl.


  19. yeah girl preach it! whore power!


  20. preach what being a whore? you girls are so lost must be daddy issues. they have doctors for that. you girls should look into it :) might save your life


  21. She does have an amazing ability to rattle a lot of cages. It’s called writing.


  22. wow what the fuck at all these pathetic responses. calling women whores makes you REALLY desirable! like totally!!


  23. I also love this segment. They’re my favorite. Also, I agree that there are a lot of weird comments on this thread. I wonder if people are trying to use translations or if they are really that terrible with spelling english words and using grammar. And yeah, where did all these d00ds come from? They should realize the subtle tone. It’s half a joke. Alexi is a great writer and I think she kind of gets into character for some of her blog pieces to make it more entertaining. And yeah, if you read the blog enough or knew what Alexi looked like you would realize the photo isn’t of her dummies.


  24. Why are some guys so willing to spew out such violent language? Is it simply because they think a woman is so desirable yet unattainable? Enjoy the seduction boys . . . it might be the best you ever get.


  25. Let’s go to Santa Monica, together! I was born there…. but I haven’t been back since,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    love, polly


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