BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 105):

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1. The following words are uber gross and leave a lingering feeling of yuck. Please try your hardest to NOT use them:  chill, funky, booty, booty call, bootylicious, pirate booty, freebie, dope, the phrase ‘cool beans’, a word that describes male genitalia that rhymes with ‘prolong’- and the word is not ‘dong’ even though THAT word sucks too, the bodily function word ‘f**t’, yummy, delicious, moist, panties, amaze-balls, blog, sick, and peace-out. unfortunately some of the most talented and successful people use these words and phrases, but it doesn’t mean you have to! Stop the cycle.

2. When dating a guy you are not in a committed relationship with, DO NOT have unprotected sex! technically you should never have unprotected sex, but obviously people say one thing and do another behind closed doors. and yes, things change when people are in a committed relationship (and not cheating) or a baby is trying to be made, but letting a guy fuck you when both of you are casually dating/in an open relationship/and have the option of sleeping with other people… you are being a fucking idiot who could totally well get a std, or pregnant!

3. Losing momentum when you’ve just started dating someone can ruin a possible love story.

4. Don’t stop seeing a guy/girl prematurely if you’re unsure. Hold yourself accountable before you run from a new person in your life. It’s one thing if it doesn’t work cuz of chemistry, but quite another if you’re not letting something that could be great for you happen cuz of your hang ups and insecurities.

5. If you knock on my door, and I’m not expecting you… You’ll be waiting forever.

6. Sometimes the most moving thing about the song is the fact that a boy is singing about his feelings.

7. A guy who won’t kiss you with tongue after you’ve given him a blow job is lame. I’m talking about both scenarios: having orgasm’d or not. But he’s THE MOST lame if he didn’t even cum in your mouth and it was only part of foreplay before sexxxing.

8. Girls (see above) it’s also totally lame if you have a problem with kissing a dude after he’s just gone down on you. Push those hang ups aside and get crazy/sloppy!

9. If you’re not invited to a party and have nowhere to go- just hang out at a bevmo on a Saturday and wait til someone invites you to the party they’re shopping for.

10. People of LA: hanging out at the ‘Bourgeois Pig’ on Franklin and/or ‘Stir Crazy’ on Melrose is embarrassing and either means you’re a loser OR at least surrounded by losers.


11 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 105):”

  1. I’d rather spend a month at either the Bourgeois Pig or Stir Crazy than a night at a Coffee Bean or Starbucks on the Sunset Strip or Melrose.


  2. are those the only choices? relax shaw.


  3. # 4 gets a big round of applause and Tarantino gets a standing O for mercifully killing “peace out.”


  4. what does #3 mean exactly? what would be an example of “losing momentum”?


  5. I second “emjay”‘s comment


  6. For me you, “lose momentum,” when you are not in her thoughts.


  7. “slob” is also a terrible word.


  8. #1
    Tarantino said peace-out at the oscars and it made me queasy.


  9. I used to love this blog. Used to, because I used to be attached to your witty gritty observations and irony. Truth is, however, that they stayed the same, for a couple years already. I mean, I get it, it was fun and sappy and creepy and sad and lovely. But, like the say, any hero who repeats himself all over and over again becomes a bore.. I don’t know if you read your comments any more, I don’t even say you should care, but IF you do, I hope you are and feel better than this blog shows.


  10. Great, this is exactly what my wife and I needed to learn


  11. Hahaha. Funky is THE worst. If someone uses that word to describe something meant to be “alternative,” artistic, or out of the norm, you know they listen to jam bands. Or they’re your mom.


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