BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 107):

nyc4

1. I know you feel vulnerable because you were naked with a guy last night. But before you fall into the female trap of needing him to love you and feeling gutted and low while you stare at your phone hoping to god he texts so you feel like it mattered and that maybe he cares; before you begin to spiral and feel like you are nothing, like you’re sinking into a black hole due to metaphorically handing over all your power to him… remember who you are. Remember that you’re smart and cool and driven and talented and good at something and have friends and have at least one cool family member maybe, I hope. Remember that you chose to have sex too. That you were 50% of the decision-making process. Remember that you aren’t even sure what you want from him, and that you might not even want him as a boyfriend and that maybe you actually had fun while you were with him and that it’s ok if that’s all it ends up being; that there’s no reason to feel shame: shame you would never think he should feel; shame you reserve for you because you’re the girl and you feel like you have to play that cliché role of guilt-shame-regret-’what does it all mean?’-I was used-I’ve been abandoned now. Think about all these things before your ego begins to feel bruised in the minutes after he leaves your apartment and you wonder if or when he’ll text/call; before you unnecessarily struggle with thoughts like he might not be sure about you or he may not want to be your boyfriend or he might never want to see you again now that he’s got what he wanted/all that he can get sexually. To alleviate unnecessary pain/over thinking and calm yourself, accept that sometimes it’s ok to have a nice time with someone; with no expectations and not giving all your power away. And if this is impossible for you, you should have left the club/bar/show/party alone. We take risks when we interact with people. It’s a risk if you get sexual too soon and it’s a risk even after you’ve waited a bit. And there comes a lot of unnecessary emotional stress that goes along with it. So do yourself a favor and make the conscious effort not to stress and let whatever the aftermath will be, just happen. You could get the call or not get his call without all the stress in the between time. It’s so much nicer without the stress.

2. i will never NOT feel unsure when using the word ‘meta’ and neither should you.

3. it’s important to never be alone… cuz that’s the time eating bread happens.

4. dudes, if any part of you wants to woo me, date me, kiss me, sexxx me, or love me… can you please NOT talk about your ex girlfriend(s)? i want to pretend, for at least a moment in time, that romance still exists and that we are in a bubble where only you, me, and possibility exist. is that ok?

5. don’t ever BROADCAST liking beef jerky! it’s something you enjoy in SECRET, behind closed doors; like binge eating, picking at your face, and anal sex.

6. if you ever end up having a crazy make out that’s super fun and passionate but leaves you with a layer of your skin rubbed off because the guy you were kissing wasn’t clean-shaven and his facial hair was in the sandpaper stage, and you look like a burn victim or like you’ve had a herpes break out… run, don’t walk, to Erewhon or whole foods or any other new age-y natural foods or homeopathic store and buy emu oil! it’s a godsend! it works even better than neosporin! you’re welcome! emu oil! who knew?

7. carbs, scrunchies, and roller blades are in fashion again.

8. only date ‘verifieds’.

9. REAL friends don’t let you take home a ‘to go’ box!

10. start referring to anyone cool or noteworthy that you’ve ever gone on a date with, kissed, or simply met as your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. it really makes your life story more colorful!

 

PS: i I LOVE THIS VIDEO. OUR NATURAL STATE. WATCH ALL THE WAY THROUGH, TO THE END – IT’S THE BEST PART:


13 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 107):”

  1. So on point with #1. Well, it IS the weekend after all. It’s just maddening when he tells ME to text HIM and then not responding when I basically ask him what he’s up to. It’s super weird because all he wanted to do was please me that night, and we didn’t have full on sex. I guess some guys just like to give pleasure without wanting anything in return.


  2. Whats a “VERIFIED”?


  3. Number 8 is so on point. :)


  4. #1 was just ugh i love you mwah


  5. to avoid #1, I would ask yourself why you are really having sex and what your intentions REALLY are (for you, really…your very OWN intentions). If sleeping with someone causes that much anxiety the next day, clearly you’re doing it in hopes to get something that may not have even been there in the first place.
    You should know while you’re doing it if it’s fun or I’d suggest not sleeping with someone right away, maybe wait and sleep with someone you’ve been regularly dating because it’s sounds like that’s what you want. Eliminate the power you give a dude, give it to yourself.


  6. Dear Alexi,
    Emu bird oil is not carried at Whole Foods Market because it does not meet the quality standards requiring ethical harvesting, one of the great things about the available selection there! Tamanu, argan, rosehip, and sea buckthorne oils are outstanding alternatives that you might like should you ever be on the hunt while you are at Whole Foods Market. You have beautiful skin and should show it off! Cheers


  7. This is my favourite website and I so wish I’d known about it as a teenager.
    X


  8. ok so Emu oil for the rough make outs and Tamanu, argan, rosehip, or sea buckthorne oil if I start to care about animals.. but I care about my face more so there.


  9. CTFU! AWESOME LIST


  10. number 1 was soo on point. its funny when you see/read something that was exactly what you needed to see/read.


  11. Alexi! You are an inspiration and a feminist in the best thoroughly modern way. Keep on being intelligent! (no.1=brilliant) x


  12. yes…you are like in my head..taking back my power…like now!


  13. Oh maaaan, this is JUST what I needed to hear/read right now.Thanks!


Leave a Reply