the blind leading the blind (part 110):

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1. being mean to your mom in public is totally NOT COOL. keep that shizz behind closed doors where it belongs.

2. always use a soft toothbrush. i mean, don’t you like yourself? Geeze!

3. only date people you look up to, who inspire you, who intimidate you, who make you nervous, who you want to be good for. it will make you BETTER!

4. when trail mix is good, it’s REALLY good. but when you get DUSTY trail mix. ugh! that shit is the worst!

5. will somebody please tell über car drivers to figure out how to fucking get to where I’m asking them to take me on their own gps without asking me how to get there every step of the way?! they’re not even good-looking enough to be THAT dumb!

6. if you ever start doubting there’s a god, stop where you are and remember: there’s a starbux RIGHT next to Larchmont beauty center. um, things like that don’t just happen.

7. there are many reasons why it’s not cool to have affairs with married men , but here’s one of my favorites: you can sex or make out with anyone, anytime. but what’s REALLY sexy is possibility and a future with someone. and not knowing but dreaming and finding out where a new romance could go/take you. but with a married guy… there is no possibility, because all you’re reduced to is a secret.

8. next time you see a guy picking his nose in his car, make eye contact with him and hold it. i want him to see you seeing him so he knows it’s not ok.

9. there’s nothing worse than getting a text from someone and not being able to follow-up right away and then getting a SECOND text from them that’s all passive aggressive saying something along the lines of  ‘well, i hope we’re still friends.’ RELAX everybody. haven’t you ever heard of having a life or DRIVING? we can’t be connected all the time, all day long. cut it out! double texting/passive aggressive texts will ensure NEVER getting a response back… even when the person is NO longer driving or busy. get it?

10. when visiting someones house, try your hardest NOT to use their bathroom. PLEASE! it only makes you appear weak and disgusting.

PS:

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @imboycrazy

the blind leading the blind (part 109):

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1. ‘jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.’ – drake ‘over my dead body’

2. never break up with a guy who offers to mount your tv on your wall BEFORE he mounts your tv on your wall.

3. if school curricula were determined by the subjects’ contributions to future happiness, 50% would be allocated to relationships. -Alain de Botton / @alaindebotton

4. hey guys! guess what?! lilacs are back! girls love lilacs! give girls some lilacs!

5. if his favorite book is ‘the story of the eye’ throw out all the eggs in your fridge and break up with him immediately! you AREN’T that kind of gurl!

6. never let a relationship interfere with your career. if it interferes with your work, that means it’s the wrong relationship. OR that you are a career driven selfish monster who is incapable of love and opening your life up in a real way. but hey, YOU decide.

7. stream of consciousness style texting has got to stop. it’s too much and makes my phone beep to the point of wanting to kill myself and/or the person texting me.

8. no way! that’s so kewl! you met a guy while he was riding his bike?! awesome! but before you go out with him… make sure dude owns a CAR!

9. be in the world but not of  the world.

10. play truth or dare more. especially if your friends are a bunch of terrified, shy, pussies. it’s perfect for coaxing your friends out of their shell!

PS: follow me on twitter @imboycrazy

PPS: this is one of my favorite songs in the entire world…

alexi recommends:

MPW-54544



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