BLOG » the blind leading the blind (part 114):

Juergen Teller_Go Sees_1_www.lylybye.blogspot.com_8_

 

1. when you’ve hit rock bottom and haven’t been on a date or kissed someone in what seems like FOREVER, just do THIS: stick your index finger and your middle finger in your vadge and then rub those fingers on your neck like perfume. good luck/YOU’RE WELCOME #pheromones

2. not worrying about your weight makes you gain weight, but worrying about your weight make you gain even MORE weight.

3. for me, the most important thing a guy can do in a relationship is hold my attention and keep me interested. #rare

4. you want to know how to age well? don’t smoke, don’t do coke, eat kale, stay out of the sun, and don’t be afraid of aging.

5. texting with someone every day is not the same as talking to them everyday. talking to them everyday means telephone calls. Don’t let the future & technology ruin the intricacies and romantic aspects of our culture and take away intimacy.

6. please don’t pick out the crust of your eye and then roll it off the tips of your fingers while you’re in public and talking to someone. it’s fucking disgusting. or at least don’t do it around ME. i always have this horrible fear that YOUR eye crust is gonna end up in MY mouth!

7. this summer is all about: coconut water/pellegrino/feeling good in your bathing suit no matter how bad you look/vor-mag rosewater/going to the beach/being in a swimming pool/and not being an asshole who uses an affected voice: ie baby voice, la publicist voice. you know what i mean.

8. you should have known he was completely wrong for you the minute he told you how much he loves “Soul Cycle”.

9. people are fucking gross! me included… but like WAY less so.

10. there’s nothing more passive aggressive than the ‘huh?’ text response.

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6 Responses to “the blind leading the blind (part 114):”

  1. You rub your vag on your face? Hmm, cool.


  2. No, silly @Melissa, on your neck, and it’s super cool and natural. God gave us these sexy pheremones for a reason, the most transcendent beautiful scent of a woman drawing in, like the siren on the rocks, gorgeous and yearning men.


  3. (1) If you could bottle it then sell it and it WORKS then you could sell it. Hmmmmm and you would not need a college degree anyhow.

    (3) Isn’t that hard or next to impossible anyway because you have ADHD and take adderal.

    (5) You have to be able to communicate personally between different groups not only efficient and effectively, but in a fluid manner.

    (6) thats the most disgusting thing I have heard in a long time.

    (9) Ahem! 5 days plus. busted hamstrings 🙁


  4. do THIS: stick your index finger and your middle finger in your vadge and then rub those fingers on your neck like perfume. good luck/YOU’RE WELCOME #pheromones.

    I hafta add to this: Make sure you dont have Vaginosis or any type of “Sangron” ( spanish translation: SOUR PUSSY) or any type of Yeast-y Infection, because if theres anything that will make a man TURN and RUN from a woman, its the smell of “Rotten-Crotch”
    On the flipside—NOTHING is more erotic and all-consuming to a mans senses than the fragrant scent of a well-cared-for-and-healthy-clean Vagina!!!!! Were NOT talking summers eve or teen-spirit! She’s RIGHT! Just the Natural Pheremones that emit from a healthy Va-jay-jay make a man wanna eat it, hump it, and worship the woman its attached to! Its what Makes The World Go Round!


  5. I deleted my social networking accounts to be a nerd for a while and it disconnected me with this blog. Now I’ve reconnected and holy shit I’ve missed this blog.


  6. #1 is disgusting. Please don’t ever do this.


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